The Warrior

A chuckle. ‘I’ve never stopped anyone from dying. In fact, I’ve helped many toward that very end.’

‘Are you going to leave?’ she asks.

‘No.’

‘Who are you? Why can’t you leave me alone?’

‘I was sitting here alone and at peace when you arrived, interrupting my serenity, and now you wish to create problems for me.’

‘What problems did I create for you? I didn’t even know you were here.’

‘If you kill yourself, I have to carry your body to the hospital, talk to the police, and fill out forms…so much hassle. You’re a heavy person, so carrying you won’t be easy either.’

His tone is dispassionate, not mocking, yet she is angered.

‘I guess it’s all a joke to you, huh? I bet you don’t have the slightest clue what acute depression feels like. When you lie on the bed and the room closes in on you, the world closes in on you, you suffocate. When there’s nothing to look forward to when you wake up. Your friends, family, and colleagues give up on you because they see you as a lost cause. Death is the only exit.’

A very long pause. She’s not sure if he’s still there or gone. The park has gone silent as if listening to them.

Then, ‘I know what it feels like. I have been there. I live it every day.’

She barks out a laugh. ‘Right! Next you’ll be telling me you suffer from acute depression too. Dude, I tried taking my life twice before. If you felt as bad as I do, you wouldn’t be around.’

‘I have never wanted to take the easy way. Taking my life would be easy. I don’t want to make it easy on myself.’

She casts her eyes around, trying to find him, but can’t see anything other than layered shadows. She sits a long while, reflecting on the weird conversation. She calls out a few times but receives no reply. She’s now not even sure whether there was anyone there or whether it was just voices in her head. The adrenaline in her body seeps away, replaced by the chill-to-the-bone damp night air. She stands sluggishly, packs the knife back in the bag, and makes her way to 100th Street.

*   *   *

Zeb watches her leave the park and pursues her at a distance. At this time of night there is still traffic, a few pedestrians out and about, and he’s able to blend in. This is New York, after all.

He follows her down the subway entrance and watches her board a train from a hundred yards away.

He catches the down train and goes home.

He lies in bed thinking for a long time of vacant eyes, of what makes people take their own lives.

It’s time to start hunting tomorrow.

He calls Broker the next day.

Broker is just that. He served with military intelligence and was injured during his time in Mogadishu. After receiving an honorable discharge from the army, he went back to college, got a degree in Information Systems from Syracuse University, discovered hacking, and lived the corporate life a few years.

Finding it too staid, he went into doing what he was best at.

Sourcing information.

Outside the army, he discovered a knack for entrepreneurship and developed a reputable business out of selling information: information on African dictators, the sexual habits of US senators, security practices of oil companies, buying habits of East European crime gangs, weapons systems, reams of pages on military contractors – anything he could turn a profit from. Most of his clients were national governments, intelligence agencies around the world, defense contractors, international corporations, and security firms.

He and Zeb went back a long way. Zeb was the reason he still had his right leg. He walked with a slight limp, but that beat a prosthetic any day.

Zeb gets Broker’s voice mail.

‘Message. Number. You know the drill,’ his baritone rumbles through the phone.

Zeb hangs up without leaving a message.

He calls Andrews, gets his voice mail, too. Andrews’ voice mail greeting is a recitation of the Miranda rights. Fu

He prints the photographs from his phone, writes up his report, and emails it to Andrews. With nothing else to do, it’s time to attend to family. He spruces up and catches the subway to Manhattan, changes at Times Square, and goes to Hamilton Heights.

His destination is a mid-rise west of Broadway. The doorman knows him well and ushers him to the elevator. The apartment is empty when he lets himself in. He makes himself a cup of coffee and settles down to wait in the living room.

He is on the Basanti Bukhari raga on the tabla in his mind when, a couple of hours later, a key scrapes at the door. The door is flung open by a seven-year-old boy, who marches to the kitchen, opens the fridge, and helps himself to a can of fruit juice.

He returns to the living room and finally spots Zeb sitting motionless.

Blue eyes widen in astonishment as they regard Zeb.

‘Who are you? What’re you doing here?’ The words spill out angrily.

Full-on New York accent, healthy complexion, spends a lot of time outdoors, black hair, blue eyes, just returned from school, still in his uniform, satchel slung over his shoulders; all this Zeb notes without conscious thought.

‘How did you get in? Did you break into Nana’s house?’

No fear, notes Zeb. Most boys his age would be panicking.

‘I know. You’ve come to steal Nana’s money, haven’t you?’ He darts into the kitchen and comes out with a kitchen knife. ‘Don’t come near me, and don’t move. I’m go

With that, he runs out of the apartment and locks it behind him. Zeb hears rushing feet outside the door minutes later, whispers, and the door opens. The boy stomps in followed by a blonde who is obviously his mother. The blue eyes and features come from her.

She’s flustered and says sheepishly, ‘You’re Zeb, right? Cassandra’s brother? Sorry about Rory. He gets a little overprotective.’ She nudges Rory. ‘Actually, you’re the one who should say sorry.’

‘Why should I apologize for looking out for Nana? I didn’t know who he was. He didn’t say a single word to me when I asked him. Even now he’s not exactly talkative, is he?’

The blonde turns to Zeb and introduces herself, ‘I’m Lauren Balthazar, and this little ball of goodwill and cheerfulness is my son, Rory. We’re Cassandra’s neighbors – as of a few months ago. Cassandra’s at work at City College, but she should be back in a couple of hours.’

She observes him as she’s talking: tall, about six feet, brown hair, serious, lean and u

She relieves Rory of the carving knife and puts it back where it belongs. On returning to the living room, she asks, ‘Want some coffee? Or lunch? It’s no trouble.’ And it’s the least I can do after my son pulled a knife on you.

Zeb shakes his head.

She pauses, uncertain. ‘All right, then. We’ll be right next door if you need anything.’

Rory is still glaring at Zeb as she drags him away. Stillness returns, and Zeb resumes Basanti Bukhari and waits. He’s good at waiting.

*   *   *

It’s evening when Cassandra enters the apartment. ‘Hi, Zeb! Lauren called me, but I was caught up with some students after classes. Sorry to have kept you waiting.’

She goes to her bedroom to change and calls out from there. ‘Lauren has invited us to di

She goes to the kitchen and, in a few minutes, returns with two steaming cups of coffee.

Placing his in front of him, she sits across from him and studies him. He hasn’t changed much. A few more wrinkles around his eyes, some grey in his hair. ‘How have you been? Clare told me you were out of the country. When did you get back?’

Clare, the Director.

Cassandra and Clare had been to Bryn Mawr together, and then later on to Pe