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Travis just crossed his arms over his chest. “This doesn’t sound kind of . . . weird to you? This woman you’ve been drooling over shows up in not one, but two places for you to trip over her? First the conference, and now, out of the entire city, she ends up having a kid in the same class as Clayton and you don’t think any of it sounds a little too pat for you? Come on, Trey.”
“You think she up and somehow managed to get her cousin into Clayton’s class, that she manipulated Max into asking her to handle the panels?” Trey snorted. “Let me guess, I bet you think she moved here, just so she could set all of that up. You know what, Trav? Fuck you.”
He edged around him and headed for the front door.
“Aw, man. Come on, I didn’t mean . . .”
“You didn’t mean what?” Trey spun around and glared at him. “You think I’m not capable of making a decision about the woman I’m dating? Fuck off, man.”
“Trey, look . . . I just . . .” Uncertain how to proceed or what to say, Travis stumbled for the words. “I’m just worried. You’ve spent the past few years alone and now . . .”
“I’ve spent the past few years alone.” Trey snorted. “Alone. You think that touches it? Yeah, I’ve been alone. I’ve been empty—and I wanted it that way. It was easier—safer. Up until I saw her, I didn’t realize just how empty and hollow I was.”
He turned away then, staring out into the night. “People talk to me and they try to help and they say all these nice things that don’t mean shit and I’m still empty. I still feel like . . .”
He stopped, shaking his head.
“For six years, I’ve just felt alone. The few times I’ve even tried to talk to another woman, I barely even saw them as women—I can’t remember the last time I wanted to kiss a woman—spend any amount of time with somebody who wasn’t family, and sometimes even that’s hell.”
Trey looked away.
Travis closed his eyes.
“You got any idea how fucking lonely it gets?” Trey asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. Now he turned, their gazes locking.
Feeling like blinders had been ripped off, Travis stared at his twin, suddenly aware of the fact that he wasn’t the only one capable of holding back. There was a giant void inside Trey, one he’d never even been aware of.
Swallowing the bile that suddenly rose inside him, Travis closed a hand into a fist and focused on a point somewhere in the middle of Trey’s chest. How had it become so hard to look at his brother’s face?
“You all try,” Trey said gently. “I know you do. It was hard enough to get through those first few months, that first year . . . grieving for Aliesha, worrying about Clayton, thinking I might lose him. But I didn’t even know who I was—I didn’t feel like anybody, not the man I thought I knew. By the time I realized how messed up I was, I was so far down in a pit, I couldn’t see the top. Daylight wasn’t even a memory for me. I’ve been pulling myself up and things started to get better. Maybe I feel alive again. But I still . . .”
Trey’s voice faded away.
Travis finally dragged his eyes up but saw that Trey was more focused on the bottle he held than anything else.
“I quit drinking after that night. Tried once—cracked open a bottle of bourbon you’d given me one year. It was about a year after Aliesha died. The smell of it made me sick and it was like I was reliving that night all over again, like I’d lost her, all over again. Even now, the smell of alcohol turns my stomach.” He closed his eyes and took a slow sip of the beer he held. He sat there in silence, waited for what seemed like forever before he sighed. “It’s all in my head. I shut myself down . . . and I know it. I’m going to finish the fucking beer. I’m going to see Ressa tomorrow and I’m going to stop hiding.”
He slanted a look at Travis. “I know what I feel when I look at her. I know what I see when she looks at me. I don’t know what it is about her, but she cut right through me and I’ll be damned if I let you breathe your paranoia down my neck and make me question that.”
“Trey, look.” Travis didn’t know if the word guilt touched on what he suddenly felt. He didn’t know if confusion did. Panic crowded around him and he could hardly breathe. There were few in this world who mattered to him and the one who mattered the most stood right in front of him. And he’d managed to hurt him. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I just . . . look, I’m worried about you.”
“Some advice,” Trey offered. “Worry about yourself, because for once, I’m doing fine. You, on the other hand, look like you’ll keel over, and don’t think I didn’t notice that you felt like you were going to puke up your guts a minute ago. Now leave me the hell alone.”
He turned and headed for the door. But before he went inside, he paused, waited. “And Travis, you better listen to me . . . she’s coming over tomorrow and if you do one thing to make her uncomfortable, I promise you, I will beat you senseless. You hear me?”
Trey didn’t wait for a response. He went inside, closing the door with a quiet snick.
Travis stood there, staring at the door, something a little sick moving through him. “Well,” he muttered into the silence of the night. “I went and fucked that up good and proper, didn’t I?”
Chapter Twenty-one
“Day-yum,” Ressa murmured under her breath.
“What?”
“Nothing, baby,” she said, putting the Mustang into park as she took one more moment to admire the sprawling Colonial in front of her.
She’d thought Bruce’s place—no, it’s my place now . . . mine—but she’d thought that place was nice.
This was . . . beyond.
She couldn’t quite call it a mansion, but the house on the double lot was amazing. The lawn was lush and green, flowers flooded in a brilliant rainbow of color, and the brick and glass somehow managed to reflect both old-world charm and modern comfort.
She hadn’t been sitting there thirty seconds when one of the house’s double doors opened and a blond tornado came spilling out.
Neeci was already tearing at her seat belt. “Hey, hey, hey! Slow down, baby.”
Neeci rolled her eyes.
“Now, listen. You need to remember—”
The door opened and Neeci was gone, tearing up the sidewalk to meet Clayton. With a weak laugh, Ressa finished. “Remember your ma
Movement caught her eye and she looked past the kids to see Trey. Her heart made a weird little lurch inside her chest and gripped the steering wheel convulsively. “And you need to remember your ma
She wondered if she’d be able to do that.
A few minutes later, she met him on the sidewalk and had the delightful pleasure of him leaning in and closing his mouth over hers. It was a soft, sweet kiss, even more chaste than the one he’d given her last night, but it still made her muscles feel hot and loose, while her heart skittered and jumped like crazy.
“Ewww!”
Against her lips, she felt him smile and then he pulled back. “I don’t think it was ewww,” he mused, glancing over at Clayton and Neeci. Then he slid her a sly look. “But maybe I should try it once more, just to make sure.”
She slapped a hand against his chest when he would have leaned in. Lifting a brow, she said, “Nice try.”
“Can’t blame a man for trying,” he said, covering her hand with his. “Why don’t we take them inside? I’ll show you around and . . .”
He stiffened beside her. It was subtle, almost imperceptible, but she was becoming adept at picking up those minute changes in him. From the corner of her eye, she saw where his gaze had shifted and she followed it, saw the man who somehow managed to slide quietly onto the porch. For a second, she could only stare.