Within These Walls

“Maggie is . . .” Jeff paused, considered his words. “She’s a protector, a mother. She has an i

A mother. Avis clenched her teeth.

“Like what?” she asked.

“Like things we’ll leave undone when we leave this place.”

Her face flushed hot. Leave? She thought that had been decided, thought it was clear that they were going to stay in Pier Pointe long-term. She shook her head, toeing the line of tears. They were going to leave her alone and pregnant. They were going to abandon her like the butt of a terrible joke.

“But the baby . . .”

“Avis . . .” Jeff began, but she didn’t want to hear it.

“Don’t call me that!” she yelled, pushing him away, moving for the door. “All you do is leave me out of everything!” He grabbed her by the wrist, wrenching it so that she either had to face him or break her arm.

“Avis,” he snapped, a

“You slept with her!” It tumbled out of her like morning sickness. She tried to pull herself free, but he wouldn’t let go. The sobs came shortly after. She turned away from him, not wanting him to see her cry.

“Avis, stop it.” His tone was stern, his grip on her wrist fierce. When she failed to quit weeping, he twisted her arm behind her back and shoved her down onto the bed. She cried out in pain.

“You’re hurting me!”

“Good,” he said. “Pain is what you need to get your head on straight. Maybe I was wrong about you.” He twisted her arm harder, and she exhaled a clipped yelp. “Maybe you aren’t as strong as I thought. Maybe you aren’t meant to be part of this family after all, especially not as the mother of my child.”

Her head whipped around. She stared him in the face, ready to scream, to tell him to go to hell. If she wanted to be subjected to such abuse, she had two parents who would be happy to oblige. She didn’t need it coming from him.

But the moment she set eyes on him, her anger teetered toward helpless guilt. Not understanding how she could go from furious to culpable so quickly, Avis let out a wail. Perhaps Jeff was right. She wasn’t as strong as he had thought, as she had wanted to be; she needed those goddamn pills after all. Something about the way he was looking at her—the disappointment in his eyes?—was too much. She crumbled. He jerked her forward, crushing her against his chest.

“Hush,” he murmured into her hair. “It’s all right. Be strong. Trust me, Avis. You have to—”

“—have faith,” she finished for him, air hitching in her throat.

“Yes,” he said. “Exactly. You have to trust me. Trust in me with your whole heart and I’ll give you things beyond your wildest dreams.”

She breathed out, her sobs stammering to a slow stop. She wanted him to tell her that he loved her, that he was as happy as everyone else about her big a

“I’ve been searching for you for what feels like my entire life,” he told her. “And tonight, I’ve been assured you’re the one. You see, I’m on this earth to usher a select few to a perfect world—a world of kindness, happiness . . . of unconditional love. And you’re here to help me achieve that.” He placed his hand on her stomach with a thoughtful glance. “This baby will save us all from a world of ugliness and pain, Avis. And you are its mother. You have to be strong. For us. For me. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Good. Good girl. Hush, now. Be calm.”

It was only then that she noticed Deacon, Noah, and Kenzie looming just outside the bedroom door. They had been listening, waiting. Avis blinked at them through tear-swollen eyes, but Jeff blocked her view a moment later.

His fingers caught the hem of her shirt. He tugged it up and over her head, then pushed her down onto the mattress as she stammered, the question of why poised on her lips. Her inquiry was silenced by the shake of Jeff’s head. Shhh.

She squeezed her eyes shut as he tugged her jeans down over her hips. She could hear the boys shuffle into the room, could make out the sound of snaps and zippers hitting the floor. Not wanting any part of what was about to happen, she felt sick and exhausted and held back her tears.

Four pairs of hands groped at her flesh. Teeth dragged across her skin. Their fingernails scratched amid hushed, chant-like whispers she couldn’t make out because she was crying again. She sobbed as they pulled at her bra and underwear, tearing at them like aggressors, like animals, like nobody she’d have ever called her family at all.

43

DESPITE HIS OWN trepidation about continuing to press Jeff for an interview, Lucas couldn’t let it go. He spent the next few days in a haze of research. The house alarm he couldn’t afford got installed. He called Lambert Correctional and bothered Lumpy A

He couldn’t find much on the suicide Marty had mentioned during their lunch. In a short-and-sweet Lambert Gazette article, Lambert prison guard Stewart Hillstone was said to have been a “kind, gentle, churchgoing man” who, presumably, suffered a psychotic break after being laid off from his job. And while there was speculation that Hillstone was axed because of the Schwartz incident, Lambert Correctional Facility claimed that the layoff was due to budget cuts. LCF stated that they didn’t hold Hillstone responsible for Schwartz’s demise. And while Lucas had no idea whether they pink-slipped Hillstone because Schwartz had been found choking on his own blood, he was sure anyone who knew enough about Halcomb would have come to the same conclusion: Halcomb had something to do with the deaths of both Schwartz and Hillstone. And yet, not a single investigator glanced Halcomb’s way. He was, after all, locked up and harmless. Locked up and speechless, actually, despite their goddamn deal.

Do