The Ask and the Answer

"You told him," I say, choking it out.

"I'm sorry," he says, his eyes wide and terrified. "He was drowning you and I couldn't, I just couldn't-"

And I look at him and there I am in his Noise, dropping down into the water with him pounding on the other side of the mirror and worse, I can see what he felt, see the hopeless rage of it, see him unable to save me - And his face is so worried. "Viola, please," he says, begging me. "Please."

"He'll kill them," I say. "Every one of them. Wilf is there, Todd. Wilf."

He looks horrified. "Wilf?"

"And Jane," I say. "And so many others, Todd, all of them. He'll slaughter them and that'll be the end. That'll be the end of everything."

His Noise goes black and barren and he sort of crumples down next to me, splashing in the little puddle that's formed around us. "No," he says. "Aw, no."

I don't want to say it but I hear my voice saying it anyway. "You did exactly what he wanted. He knew exactly how to get it out of you."

He looks at me. "What choice did I have?"

"You should have let him kill me!"

And he's looking at me and I can see his Noise trying to find me, trying to find the real Viola that's deep down in this mess and pain, I can see him looking-

And for a minute I don't want him to find me.

"You should have let him kill me," I say again quietly.

But he couldn't, could he?

He couldn't and still be himself.

He couldn't and still be Todd Hewitt.

The boy who can't kill.

The man who can't.

We are the choices we make.

***

"We have to warn them," I say, feeling ashamed and not looking into his eyes. "If we can." I grab the edge of the tub of water to pull myself up. Pain shoots up my legs from my ankles. I call out and fall forward again. And once more, he catches me.

"My feet," I say. We look at them, bare and swollen badly, turning ugly shades of blue and black.

"We'll get you to a healer." He puts an arm around me to lift me.

"No," I say, stopping him. "We have to warn the Answer. That's the most important thing."

"Viola-"

"Their lives are more important than my-"

"She tried to kill you, Viola. She tried to blow you up." I'm breathing hard, trying not to feel the pain from my legs.

"You don't owe her nothing," he says.

But I feel his arms on me and I'm realizing things don't seem so impossible anymore. I feel Todd touching me and there's anger rising in my gut but it's not at him and I grunt and I pull myself up again, leaning on him to keep me there as I stand. "I do owe her," I say. "I owe her the look on her face when she sees me alive."

I try to take a small step but it's too much. I cry out again.

"I have a horse," he says. "I can put you on her."

"He's not just going to let us leave," I say. "He said guards would escort us back to him."

"Yeah," he says. "We'll see about that."

He puts his arm tighter around me and leans down to put his other arm under my knees. And he lifts me in the air.

The pull on my ankles makes me cry out again but then he's holding me up, carrying me like he did down the hillside into Haven.

Holding me up.

He remembers it, too. I can see it in his Noise. I put my arm around his neck. He tries to smile. And it's crooked like it always is.

"We just keep on having to save each other," he says. "We ever go

"I hope not," I say.

He frowns again and I see the clouds roiling in his Noise. "I'm sorry," he says quietly.

I grab the cloth of his shirtfront and squeeze it tight. "I'm sorry, too."

"So we forgive each other?" The crooked smile climbs up one more time. "Again?"

And I look right into his eyes, right into him as far as I can see, because I want him to hear me, I want him to hear me with everything I mean and feel and say.

"Always," I say to him. "Every time."

He carries me to a chair and then goes over to the door and starts pounding on it. "Let us out!" he shouts.

"This does mean something, Todd," I say, taking as little breath as possible because my feet are throbbing. "Something we have to remember."

"What's that?" He pounds on the door again and says "Ow" quietly at how it's hurting his hands.

"The Mayor knows I'm your weakness," I say. "All he has to do is threaten me and you'll do what he wants."

"Yeah," Todd says, not looking back. "Yeah, I knew that already."

"He'll keep trying it."

He turns around to face me, fists clenched at his sides. "He won't be laying his eyes on you. Not never again."

"No." I shake my head and wince at the pain. "It can't be that way, Todd. He has to be stopped."

"Well, why's it have to be us that stops him?"

"It's got to be somebody." I arch my back a certain way to keep any weight off my feet. "He can't win."

Todd starts kicking at the door. "Then let yer Mistress do it. We'll get to her somehow, warn 'em if we can, and then we're outta here."

"Out of here where?"

"I don't know." He starts looking around for something that might knock down the door. "We'll go to one of the abandoned settlements. We'll hide out till yer ships get here."

"He'll beat Mistress Coyle and then he'll go right for the ships." I gasp a little as I turn my head to follow him. "There's only a small number of people awake when they land, Todd. He can overpower them and keep everyone else asleep as long as he wants. He doesn't ever have to wake them up if he doesn't want to."

He stops his search. "Is that true?"

I nod. "Once he destroys the Answer, who's left to stop him?"

He clenches and unclenches his fists again. "We have to do it."

"We find the Answer first," I say, trying to pull myself upright. "We warn them-"

"And tell 'em exactly what kinda leader they got."

I sigh. "We're going to have to stop both of them, aren't we?"

"Well, that's easy, ain't it?" Todd says. "We tell the Answer all about yer mistress and then someone new will lead 'em." He looks at me. "Maybe you."

"Maybe you." I take a minute to try and catch my breath. It's getting harder. "Either way, we have to get out of here."

And then the door suddenly opens.

A soldier stands there with a rifle.

"I have orders to take you both to the cathedral," he says.

And I think I recognize him.

"Ivan," Todd says.

"Lieutenant," Ivan nods. "I've got my orders."

"You're from Farbranch," I say, but he's staring at Todd, not blinking. I can hear something in his Noise, something-

"Lieutenant," he says again in a way that seems like some kind of signal.

I look at Todd. "What's he doing?"

"You have orders," Todd says, concentrating on Ivan. I can hear stuff flying between their Noises, fast and blurry. "Private Farrow."

"Yes, sir," Ivan says, standing at attention. "Orders from my superior officer."

Todd looks at me. I can hear him thinking. "What's going on?" I say. I see Lee rise in Todd's Noise. He turns back to Ivan. "Is there another prisoner? A boy? Blond shaggy hair?"