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"I hope it is the end," the Mayor says, his voice actually making the sounds of truth. "I hope you'll tell me what I want to know so we can stop all this." And then he says-Then he says-He says, "Please."
I look up, blinking thru the swelling coming up round my eyes.
His face has a look of concern on it, a look of almost pleading.
What the hell? What the ruddy hell? And I hear the buzz of it inside my head again-Different than just hearing someone's Noise-- PLEASE like it's said in my own voice- PLEASE like it's coming from me-Pressing on me-On my insides-
Making me feel like I wa
"The things you think you know, Todd," the Mayor says, his voice still twining around inside my own head. "Those things aren't true."
And then I remember-
I remember Ben-
I remember Ben saying the same thing to me-Ben who I lost-
And my Noise hardens, right there. Cutting him off.
The Mayor's face loses the look of pleading.
"All right," he says, frowning a little. "But remember that it is your choice." He stands up straight. "What is her name?"
"You know her name."
Mr. Collins strikes me across the head, careening me sideways.
"What is her name?"
"You already know it--"
Boom, another blow, this time the other way.
"What is her name?"
"No."
Boom.
"Tell me her name."
"No!"
BOOM!
"What is her name, Todd?"
"EFF YOU!"
Except I don't say "eff" and Mr. Collins hits me so hard my head whips back and the chair overbalances and I do topple sideways to the floor, taking the chair with me. I slam into the carpet, hands tied so I can't catch myself, my eyes filling up with little New Worlds till there ain't nothing else to see.
I breathe into the carpet.
The toes of the Mayor's boots approach my face. "I am not your enemy, Todd Hewitt," he says one more time. "Just tell me her name and this will all stop." I take in a breath and have to cough it away. I take in another and say what I have to say.
"Yer a murderer."
Another silence.
"So be it," says the Mayor.
His feet move away and I feel Mr. Collins pull my chair up from the floor, taking me up with it, my body groaning against its own weight, till I'm sat up again in the circle of colored light. My eyes are so swollen now I can't hardly see Mr. Collins at all even tho he's right in front of me.
I hear the Mayor at the small table again. I hear him moving things round on the top. I hear again the scrape of metal.
I hear him step up beside me.
And after all that promising, here it really, finally is. My end.
I'm sorry, I think. I'm so, so sorry.
The Mayor puts a hand on my shoulder and I flinch away from it but he keeps it there, pressing down steadily. I can't see what he's holding, but he's bringing something toward me, toward my face, something hard and metal and filled with pain and ready to make me suffer and end my life and there's a hole inside me that I need to crawl into, away from all this, down deep and black, and I know this is the end, the end of all things, I can never escape from here and he'll kill me and kill her and there's no chance, no life, no hope, nothing.
I'm sorry.
And the Mayor lays a bandage across my face.
I gasp from the coolness of it and jerk away from his hands but he keeps pressing it gently into the lump on my forehead and onto the wounds on my face and chin, hisb ody so close I can smell it, the cleanliness of it, the woody odor of his soap, the breath from his nose brushing over my cheek, his fingers touching my cuts almost tenderly, dressing the swelling round my eyes, the splits on my lip, and I can feel the bandages get to work almost instantly, feel the swelling going right down, the painkillers flooding into my system, and I think for a second how good the bandages are in Haven, how much like her bandages, and the relief comes so quick, so unexpected that my throat clenches and I have to swallow it away.
"I am not the man you think I am, Todd," the Mayor says quietly, almost right into my ear, putting another bandage on my neck. "I did not do the things you think I did. I asked my son to bring you back. I did not ask him to shoot anyone. I did not ask Aaron to kill you."
"Yer a liar," I say but my voice is weak and I'm shaking from the effort of keeping the weep out of it (shut up).
The Mayor puts more bandages across the bruises on my chest and stomach, so gentle I can barely stand it, so gentle it's almost like he cares how it feels.
"I do care, Todd," he says. "There will be time for you to learn the truth of that."
He moves behind me and puts another bandage around the bindings on my wrists, taking my hands and rubbing feeling back into them with his thumbs.
"There will be time," he says, "for you to come to trust me. For you, perhaps, to come to even like me. To even think of me, one day, as a kind of father to you, Todd."
It feels like my Noise is melting away with all the drugs, with all the pain disappearing, with me disappearing alongw ith it, like he's killing me after all, but with the cure instead of the punishment.
I can't keep the weep from my throat, my eyes, my voice.
"Please," I say. "Please."
But I don't know what I mean.
"The war is over, Todd," the Mayor says again. "We are making a new world. This planet finally and truly living up to its name. Believe me when I say, once you see it, you'll want to be part of it."
I breathe into the darkness.
"You could be a leader of men, Todd. You have proven yourself very special."
I keep breathing, trying to hold on to it but feeling myself slip away.
"How can I know?" I finally say, my voice a croak, a slur, a thing not quite real. "How can I know she's even still alive?"
"You can't," says the Mayor. "You only have my word."
And waits again.
"And if I do it," I say. "If I do what you say, you'll save her?"
"We will do whatever's necessary," he says. Without pain, it feels almost like I don't have a body at all, almost like I'm a ghost, sitting in a chair, blinded and eternal. Like I'm dead already.
Cuz how do you know yer alive if you don't hurt?
"We are the choices we make, Todd," the Mayor says. "Nothing more, nothing less. I'd like you to choose to tell me. I would like that very much indeed."
Under the bandages is just further darkness.
Just me, alone in the black. Alone with his voice. I don't know what to do. I don't know anything, (what do I do?)
But if there's a chance, if there's even a chance--
"Is it really such a sacrifice, Todd?" the Mayor says, listening to me think. "Here, at the end of the past? At the begi
No. No, I can't. He's a liar and a murderer, no matter what he says--
"I'm waiting, Todd."
But she might be alive, he might keep her alive-
"We are nearing your last opportunity, Todd."
I raise my head. The movement opens the bandages some and I squint up into the light, up toward the Mayor's face.
It's blank as ever.
It's the empty, lifeless wall.
I might as well be talking into a bottomless pit.
I might as well be the bottomless pit.
I look away. I look down.
"Viola," I say into the carpet. "Her name's Viola." The Mayor lets out a long, pleased-sounding breath. "Good, Todd," he says. "I thank you." He turns to Mr. Collins. "Lock him up."