The Knife of Never Letting Go

“Go!” I yell–

But she’s got a big flat stone in her hands and launches it at Aaron with a grimace and an angry grunt and he ducks and tries to deflect it with one hand but it catches him cross the forehead, causing him to stumble away from both her and me, towards the ledge, towards the front of the church–

“Come on!” Viola yells to me–

I scramble to my feet–

But Aaron’s turned, too–

Blood ru

His mouth open in a yell–

He jumps forward like a spider, grabbing Viola’s right arm–

She punches fiercely with her left hand, bloodying it on his face–

But he don’t let go–

I’m yelling as I fly at them–

Knife out–

But again I turn it at the last minute–

And I just knock into him–

We land on the upslope of the stairs, Viola falling back, me on top of Aaron, his arms boxing my head and he reaches forward with his horrible face and takes a bite out of an exposed area of my neck–

I yell and jerk back, punching him with a backhand as I go–

Scooting away from him back into the church, holding my neck–

He comes at me again, his fist flying forward–

Catching me on the eye–

My head jerks back–

I stumble thru the rows of pews, back to the centre of the church–

Another punch–

I raise my knife hand to block it–

But keep the knife edge sideways–

And he hits me again–

I scrabble away from him on the wet stone–

Up the aisle towards the pulpit–

And a third time his fist reaches my face–

And I feel two teeth tear outta their roots–

And I nearly fall–

And then I do fall–

My back and head hitting the pulpit stone–

And I drop the knife.

It clatters away towards the edge.

Useless as ever.

“Yer Noise reveals you!” Aaron screams. “Yer Noise reveals you!” He’s stepping forward to me now, standing over me. “From the moment I stepped into this sacred place, I knew it would be thus!” He stops at my feet, staring down at me, his fists clenched and bloody with my blood, his face bloody with his own. “You will never be a man, Todd Hewitt! Never!”

I see Viola outta the corner of my eye frantically looking for more rocks–

“I’m already a man,” I say, but I’ve fallen, I’ve dropped the knife, my voice is faltering, my hand over the bleeding from my neck.

“You rob me of my sacrifice!” His eyes have turned to burning diamonds, his Noise blazing a red so fierce it’s practically steaming the water away from him. “I will kill you.” He bows his head to me. “And you will die knowing that I killed her slowly.”

I clench my teeth together.

I start to pull myself to my ruddy feet.

“Come on if yer coming,” I growl.

Aaron yells out and takes a step towards me–

Hands reaching out for me–

My face rising to meet him–

And Viola CLUMPS him on the side of the head with a rock she can barely lift–

He stumbles–

Leaning towards the pews and catching himself–

And he stumbles again–

But he doesn’t fall.

He doesn’t ruddy fall.

He staggers but he stands, twixt me and Viola, uncurling himself, his back to Viola but towering over her, a whole rivulet of blood spouting from the side of his head now, but he’s effing well tall as a nightmare–

He really is a monster.

“You ain’t human,” I say.

“I have told you, young Todd,” he says, his voice low and monstrous, his Noise glowering at me with a fury so pure it nearly knocks me back. “I am a saint.”

He lashes his arm out in Viola’s direkshun without even looking her way, catching her square on the eye, knocking her back as she calls out and falls falls falls, tripping over a pew, hitting her head hard on the rocks–

And not rising.

“Viola!” I yell–

And I leap past him–

He lets me go–

I reach her–

Her legs are up on the stone bench–

Her head’s on the stone floor–

A little stream of blood ru

“Viola!” I say and I lift her–

And her head falls back–

“VIOLA!” I yell–

And I hear a low rumble from behind me–

Laughter.

He’s laughing.

“You were always going to betray her,” he says. “It was foreseen.”

“You SHUT UP!”

“And do you know why?”

“I’ll KILL YOU!”

He lowers his voice to a whisper–

But a whisper I can feel shiver thru my entire body–

“You’ve already fallen.”

And my Noise blazes red.

Redder than it’s ever been.

Murderous red.

“Yes, Todd,” Aaron hisses. “Yes, that’s the way.”

I lay Viola gently down and I stand and face him.

And my hate is so big, it fills the cavern.

“Come on, boy,” he says. “Purify yerself.”

I look at the knife–

Resting in a puddle of water–

Near the ledge by the pulpit behind Aaron–

Where I dropped it–

And I hear it calling to me–

Take me, it says–

Take me and use me, it says–

Aaron holds open his arms.

“Murder me,” he says. “Become a man.”

Never let me go, says the knife–

“I’m sorry,” I whisper under my breath tho I don’t know who to or what for–

I’m sorry–

And I leap–

Aaron doesn’t move, arms open as if to embrace me–

I barrel into him with my shoulder–

He doesn’t resist–

My Noise screams red–

We fall past the pulpit to the ledge–

I’m on top of him–

He still doesn’t resist–

I punch his face–

Over–

And over–

And over–

Breaking it further–

Breaking it into bloody messy pieces–

Hate pouring outta me thru my fists–

And still I pound him–

Still I hit–

Thru the breaking of bone–

And the snapping of gristle–

And an eye crushed under my knuckles–

Till I can no longer feel my hands–

And still I hit–

And his blood spills on me and over–

And the red of it matches the red of my Noise–

And then I lean back, still on him, covered in his blood–

And he’s laughing, he’s laughing still–

And he’s gurgling “Yes” thru broken teeth, “Yes–”

And the red rises in me–

And I can’t hold it back–

And the hate–

And I look over–

At the knife–

Just a metre away–

On the ledge–

By the pulpit–

Calling for me–

Calling–

And this time I know–

This time I know–

I’m going to use it.

And I jump for it–

My hand outstretched–

My Noise so red I can barely see–

Yes, says the knife–

Yes.

Take me.

Take the power in yer hand–

But another hand is there first–

Viola.

And as I fall towards it there’s a rush in me–

A rush in my Noise–

A rush from seeing her there–

From seeing her alive–

A rush that rises higher than the red–

And “Viola,” I say–

Just “Viola”.

And she picks up the knife.

My momentum is tumbling me towards the edge and I’m turning to try and catch myself and I can see her lifting the knife and I can see her stepping forward and I’m falling into the ledge and my fingers are slipping on wet stone and I can see Aaron sitting up and he’s only got one eye now and it’s staring at Viola as she’s raising the knife and she’s bringing it forward and I can’t stop her and Aaron is trying to rise and Viola’s moving towards him and I’m hitting the ledge with my shoulder and stopping just short of falling over and I’m watching and what’s left of Aaron’s Noise is radiating anger and fear and it’s saying No–