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I grab the pillow off my bed as I launch myself at the figure. I grab its dark hair and yank its head back hard until it falls backwards onto the ground. Then I pounce. I’m straddling its chest, just about to bring the pillow down over its mouth to protect me from its teeth while I drive me knee down on its throat until it snaps, when it speaks.
“Please don’t! Please stop!”
I hesitate. My chest is heaving and every muscle in my body is screaming to finish the job but I rein it in. I take in my surroundings. I remind myself where I am. Who I’m with. And when I look down I realize with horror that I’m about to kill a living human being.
I scurry backwards away from her until I’m pi
“What the hell?” I gasp.
The girl sits up slowly, swaying side to side. She’s holding her hand to the side of her face where I punched her in the cheek. I can’t see her very well in the dark but I know that’s going to bruise because my right hand is aching. It’s nothing compared to what she must be feeling. Or what she’ll be feeling tomorrow.
“What’s going on?” someone calls from the other side of the room.
“Nothing.” my assailant calls lightly, shaking her head as though to clear it. I got her good behind the ear. Her equilibrium will be jacked for a while. “The new girl had a bad dream. I came over to check on her. She’s fine.”
“Go back to sleep.” someone else grumbles nearby.
“We are.” she replies. As she stands up, she has to grab onto a nearby bed to keep her balance. She offers me her hand. “Right, Joss?”
I shake my head and stand up on my own, watching her closely. She’s drenched in shadows and I can’t make out her face. All I know is her height, build and that she’ll have a hell of a black eye tomorrow.
“This isn’t over.” I whisper fiercely. “I’m go
She nods faintly and whispers, “I hope you do.”
Chapter Thirteen
The next morning I’m on shiner watch. I’m looking at every woman I pass trying to find long dark hair, a petite build and a face with my knuckles written all over it. At breakfast I sit with Vin as I always do but I notice we’re not alone. Two other men about his age come to sit with us and a middle aged woman I’ve never seen before sits herself right down beside me. I look her over quickly. Too tall.
“Joss, have you met Sandra?” Vin asks, gesturing with his fork between myself and the Amazonian beside me. I’m surprised by his genial tone and use of my actual name.
“No. Hi.” I reply curtly.
Vin frowns at me but I ignore him. He talks and laughs with his new friends as I slowly eat my pancakes. Throughout the meal I scan the crowd. I don’t see anyone that fits the shadow I wrestled with last night and I’m starting to wonder if she’s even on the same sleep cycle. Maybe she was just coming off shift when she decided to stop by and try to murder me.
As the room clears out I begin to lose hope of finding her today. Vin’s friends eventually leave. I go to stand to leave as well but he stops me by slamming his hand down on my tray, knocking it back to the table loudly.
“What’s your deal?” I exclaim, glaring at him.
“I was going to ask you the same thing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You need to get to making friends with these people.”
I shake my head and look away. “You sound just like Nats.”
“She’s a smart woman, you should listen to her. I know social skills aren’t your thing, but at least try.”
“Why do we need to make friends with them?”
“To use them.”
“That’s chipper.”
“Do you want out of here?”
“Yes.”
“Then get off your high horse and help me out.”
I sit back from him, taking in his angry eyes and the harsh line of his mouth. He’s never been mad at me before. It’s intimidating and I hate it that he can do this to me.
“What are we using them for?”
“Eric and Tim, the guys sitting beside me who you ignored, they work in the fields. Do you know where the fields are?”
“Outside the building where we’re not allowed.” I reply quietly.
None of us were selected for outdoor duties permanently. Not yet. We’ve had private counseling sessions with our Team Leaders (mine is Melissa and I’m just grateful it’s not Barbie) to discuss our transition into the community. Despite his charms, Vin wasn’t chosen to go outside either. They don’t trust us near the fence lines unsupervised. I can’t say I blame them. Given the chance I’d risk the freezing waters to get out of here. No question.
“And Sandra works in the laundry. How could the laundry be helpful to us, Joss?”
I thought it was weird that he was using my name before but I find it condescending and a
“Clothing. Warm clothing and lots of it.”
“Nailed it.” he says, smacking his hand on the table loudly. “Next time I expect you to act a little friendlier and remember that we would like to get out of here before we die.”
He rises to leave but I stand quickly as well, leaning over the table and shoving my finger in his face.
“And next time you try and remember that you’re not my pimp, I’m not one of your girls and if you want my help you’ll watch the way you talk to me. Understood?”
This is a moment in my life when I seriously wonder if I’m going to get slapped. I’m mouthing off to a Stable Boy from The Hive, a guy whose job it is to keep women in line, doing what they’re told and making the very testy, very violent men at the top of his food chain happy. He minds the coffers and the coins all have PMS. It can’t be an easy job. It could easily be one he manages with an iron fist.
His jaw works under the taught skin of his face. It clenches and releases as he chews on what I’ve said. He carefully, dispassionately considers me. His calm is freaking me out. I’d rather he was yelling. I’d almost rather he hit me. Eventually what he does is smile.
“Understood, Kitten.” he replies, his voice low and rough.
His eyes bore into me with a heat that I recognize. A hunger I’ve seen before. It reminds me of Ryan and it hurts in my heart like you wouldn’t believe. I haven’t let the thought sink in because it’s massively inconvenient and wholly unlike me, but it’s undeniable. I miss him.
I lower my hand. “Don’t.”
He grabs my hand before I can pull it back. He uses it to pull me forward over the table. I have to brace myself on my other hand so I don’t fall over. Suddenly my face is inches from his.
“Don’t what?”
I look him hard in the eye and shake my head firmly. “Don’t make it like this. We’re not like this, you and I.”
“Who’s to say we couldn’t be?”
“Me.”
He chuckles. It smells like honey, dripping and sweet. “Come on, Kitten. Don’t you ever get tired of being alone?”
“Are you go
“Is that what you’re looking for?” he asks me, his voice and grip tightening. “The fairytale and forever after? Because I’ll break it to you now; it’s a myth. It always has been.”
“I’m not holding out for forever. I’d be happy with tomorrow but you can’t even promise me that so let’s stop this before it gets weird and we can’t come back from it.” I feel eyes on us and I look over his shoulder to see Caroline there in the doorway. Her eyes are livid. They’re promising me the eternity Vin can’t, only this one I imagine to be far less enjoyable. “And before your girlfriend gets the wrong idea.”
“My what?” He follows my eyes over his shoulder. When he sees Caroline he curses, clenching his hand and pinching mine in the process. I let out a small whimper of pain that makes him jerk his head back to me. “What’s wrong?”