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“It’ll be like the start of it all over again.”
“Yeah. As it is it’s dangerous to be out right now. We’re going on lockdown until we get a better idea of how big this thing is going to get.”
“Alright.” Ryan says warily. “Let’s get back.”
Ryan flexes his hand and drops his knife into the soft grass beside me. I glance at it, then back up at him, wondering what the hell he’s doing but he’s already walking away. I watch and listen as their footsteps recede and he disappears from sight. I start counting, waiting it out, wondering how long I should give them to be out of sight entirely.
“What are you doing?!” I hear Bray call from far off.
“My knife!” Ryan calls back. He’s close and getting closer. “I dropped it. Wait there, give me a minute!”
“Hurry up!”
Ryan runs back and drops down on his knees in front of me. His face is pinched in concern.
“You heard Bray?” he whispers.
I nod, my mouth pulled in a grim line.
“I should walk you back. It’s not good to be out alone right now.”
“You’ll never shake this guy. Besides, I can make it. I’ve survived worse with less experience.”
“I feel like a jerk just leaving you.”
“You’re not a jerk.”
He grins. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Don’t let it go to your head.”
His face falls serious, his eyes searching mine.
“I’m go
I smirk. “You can try.”
I hope he understands, that he takes that statement for what it is. Permission, or at least as much as I can give. I want him to find me and, foolish as it may be, I know I’m going to make it easy.
“Ryan!” Bray shouts, sounding closer than before.
“Screw it.” Ryan murmurs.
He crushes his lips to mine. A surprised whimper escapes the back of my throat, urging him on, and suddenly his hands are on my face and in my hair. I grab his shoulders for support as he pulls me forward and off balance but then I’m pulling him to me. His chest presses against me as his lips soften and move slowly over mine. This is dangerous. His friend is close by, zombies are in high numbers again but I can’t begin to care. It’s my first kiss, quite possibly the only one I’ll ever have, and I let myself melt into him. I give up, I give in. I hold on and I enjoy the moment as the comet crash lands onto the earth and razes the entire world.
When he pulls away, his hands still in my hair and on my skin, his breathing is ragged. I, on the other hand, have stopped breathing entirely.
“Watch for me.” he says roughly.
“What?”
He holds my face firmly in front of his, so close I can feel his breath on my skin. He locks eyes with me and repeats, “Watch for me. Keep your eyes open.”
“I will.” I whisper.
“Good.” He lets go of my face and squeezes my hand briefly. “Be safe.”
“You too.”
He smiles at me one last time before he goes.
Then I’m alone again.
Chapter Seven
“Crenshaw!” I whisper loudly into the wilderness.
I’m standing in the thickest section of trees in the park turned forest, sca
“Crenshaw!”
“I’m here.” a disembodied voice calls from within the trees. He emerges from the shadows looking like Merlin if he’d fallen on hard times and got really into pot. He even has a staff, for God’s sake. “What do you need of me, Athena?”
Yeah, he calls me Athena, like the goddess of war. Years ago he said Joss was too mousey, that I was a survivor and deserved a survivor’s name. He toyed with calling me Xena for a bit but I refused to respond to it. By the time we got to Athena, I just didn’t care anymore.
“Nothing, I’m fine. I came to warn you that there’s been an outbreak in the Colonies. I’ve seen a lot more wraiths recently.”
Wraiths, yes. That’s what I said. I’ve entered into Mordor here.
“Ah, it was inevitable.” he rasps. “The gates of Hell were bound to spring open again eventually. How many have escaped so far?”
“I’m not sure. I overhead some men talking and they’ve spotted at least fifty in the area, probably more.”
“You were in the company of men?”
“No, not really. I was in the park and I overheard them.”
“And they didn’t see you?” he asks skeptically. He’s a crazy old bird but he’s sharp. Irritatingly so.
“One of them might have known I was there.” I admit grudgingly.
“Be careful.”
“I’m always careful.”
“Be doubly careful.” he says, striking his staff on the ground twice for emphasis.
“Ok, yes. I’ll be triple careful.”
“You’re sure you don’t need anything of me? Tea? Food?” I shake my head, smiling at his generosity. “Water?”
Suddenly I’m reminded of Ryan’s warning.
“Don’t go to the watering holes.” I blurt out.
He scowls at me, looking offended by the idea. “I never do. Why would I?”
“I don’t know, but don’t go there. The men also said that the holes are dangerous. That the Colonies are doing a lot of roundups there.”
He watches me in silence for an uncomfortably long time, his face entirely devoid of emotion.
“These men,” he finally says slowly. “They said an awful lot, didn’t they?”
I shrug, trying to look unconcerned. “They were chatty.”
“All of this while you were in earshot.”
“Chatty and stupid.”
“No one alive today is stupid, Athena.”
I roll my eyes, getting tired of the interrogation or accusation. Whatever this is, it’s wearing on me. People in general are wearing on me and I think I’ve had way too much interaction recently. I need to detox.
“What do you want me to say? What do you want from me?” I ask, letting my frustration show.
“I want you to be careful.”
“And I said I would. I will be. I always am.”
“What is more dangerous than the wraiths?” He asks it like a condescending school teacher and I have to suppress a groan. I’ve heard this lecture a million times.
“Snakes?”
“Athena.”
“People. Living, breathing, thieving people.”
“Remember it well.” he warns. Then he steps back, blending into the shadows. It’s very theatrical and I wonder if he practices when I’m not around.
“You try and watch out for people.” I grumble, heading for the exit. I’m wondering how giving him a heads up ended with me being scolded. I want out of the woods, out of the park, out of the whole city. Out of this mess entirely.
I’m debating what to do about di
Colonists.
I hide myself deep in the bushes, close to where I was hiding with Ryan. As my breathes come in short and painful I feel so far removed from Crenshaw’s Athena or Ryan’s bitch Joss. Now I’m Jocelyn, eight years old and terrified, hiding behind a tree again while evil closes in on me. I can pretend to be as tough as I want, but the person who knows the truth is the only one who matters; me. I know every single day how scared I really am. How tired, how angry, how lonely. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or if I work my ass off to make sure there is no ‘anyone else’ around to see it. It’s still true. I’m still scared.