The Variables

“I know,” Lucy answered and her voice broke. “He’s leaving for Copia today, right? I mean...I should be able to at least talk to him, right?”

Maxine was quiet. She stared down at her drink and blew straight into the cup, creating ripples of tea. When she looked up at Lucy, her eyes were moist. She cleared her throat and then took another sip of tea. “Of course,” she answered. “Your father is a member of the Elektos board. That title earns you a lot, my dear one.”

“It didn’t earn me a chance to get Grant on Kymberlin,” Lucy said.

“No,” Maxine conceded. “It did not.”

“It didn’t earn Ethan a chance to keep Teddy.”

Maxine nodded once. “No. You’re right. It did not.”

“What did it do, Mom? What does that title do?”

Jeremiah turned on music. The sweet sounds of a string quartet flooded the room.

“Your first love. That’s a big deal,” Maxine said. She put her cup down and reached out across the table. When she grabbed Lucy’s hands, Lucy could feel the hotness on her palms from the warm mug. “Your dad was my first love. Six kids later and I’d still follow him anywhere...”

“Apparently,” Lucy answered with more of a bite than she had intended. Her mom pulled her hand back. “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean it that way...I...”

“What would you have had me do, Lucy Larkspur? I didn’t know about any of this until we were shoved on a plane...in the middle of chaos. I’m not saying I don’t understand, but it’s not as black and white as you want it to be. No decision ever is.”

Lucy didn’t answer. She stared down into her cup.

“You think it cheapens me to want the best for us in this situation? You’re wrong. Look, Jeremiah wanted to open the Tea Room and now he has a lovely little business. That’s nice, don’t you think?”

Lucy nodded. “Yes. I do.”

“So...here you are, and you can do anything you want. What’s your dream? Huck comes to you and says that you have earned a right to whatever your heart desires. What do you want?”

“I want Grant...”

“No,” Maxine wagged her finger. “Grant or no Grant, that is not an answer. Grant is not your dream. No boy is the dream, Lucy. I’ve never taught you that...you didn’t get that from me.”

Lucy closed her eyes and thought of where her life was going before the Release. She was going to college. She had already decided she would go to the University of Oregon like her parents. From there, she had no plan. She didn’t have a plan before, and she didn’t have a plan now. However, unlike before, she didn’t think she could just sit back and watch the world unfold around her. Something stirred in her. A call to action.

“Anything,” her mother prodded from across the table.

“I don’t know--”

“I’ll count and you just shout out the first thing that comes to your mind.”

“I can’t do it that way—”

“One, two...”

Lucy opened her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t—”

“Three!”

“Darla.”

Maxine looked her, perplexed. “What?” she laughed.

“I want to be a financial advisor who can shoot a gun and raise a child and care about strangers and take charge without being so afraid all the time.”

“You’re afraid?”

“All the time,” Lucy whispered. “Remember when Grandma used to say that the bears were trying to poison her?”

The phrase stu

“Bears are trying to poison me.”

“That’s absurd,” Maxine replied.

“This is an absurd life. Maybe that’s just what I want you to see...”

“Financial advisor?” Maxine said, changing the subject. She latched on to the least important piece of Lucy’s future occupation list. “Lucy, you picked a few things that don’t really apply here.”

“You said anything,” Lucy reminded her.

“I did,” Maxine replied. She laughed, but it died away quickly. “And you picked Darla. That girl from back in Oregon? Teddy’s mom?”

Lucy looked down at the table. She ran her finger over the lace pattern. “Whenever I walk around Kymberlin, I think of all the people who will never get to see this place,” Lucy said without looking up. “It’s beautiful and amazing...and it makes me sad. Why does one man get to pick who lives and who dies? Why am I here, but others aren’t? Doesn’t it make you sad?”

Maxine looked at her daughter and picked up her cup again. She leaned against the back of the cream-colored settee. “Yes,” her mother answered. “But someday you will realize that there is no perfect place or perfect leader or perfect decision. There is only the steady accumulation of choices. This or that. Down that road, up that one. And we are here...and it was a decision that was made for us, yes. But don’t pretend that we don’t have a choice about where we go from here. You can choose to be afraid and let your mind live in paranoia. Or you can choose to find a place for yourself here. Many of these people were brought into Huck’s world against their will, too. We are survivors and we must align ourselves as a family. I am choosing to accept my life on Kymberlin...to live under the protection of your father. You can see that as a weakness, my dear one, but that’s still my choice and that’s for me to own. It’s my own weakness for me alone to carry. And I can live with it.” Her mother crossed a single arm over her body and stared at her across the table. “Lucy, I love you. And at the end of the day here, that’s the only thing you need to know.”

The small bell above the Tea Room door jingled and Lucy looked up. Cass walked in and pushed the door open, and sca

“Goodness,” she said. “You are hard to find today. Impossible, really.”

“Cass—” Lucy said and she didn’t know if she was supposed to stand or stay seated. They hadn’t spoken a word since Cass had accused her of being a drama queen and shut the door in her face. They had given each other a wide berth and Lucy couldn’t hide her surprise. “We’re on a mother-daughter date...”

“How did you find us? This place is huge,” Maxine said, shifting in her chair to see Cass fully.

Cass hesitated and then pointed to a small camera in the corner of the Tea Room. Lucy hadn’t noticed it before, but there it was: stuck next to a floating potted plant. “My father helped me...I...he told me.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I had to find you because I just heard the most amazing news. Grant isn’t going to Copia today. I don’t know the details, but my dad told me that he and Blair are coming back here. To Kymberlin.”

“What?” Lucy set down her mug. “When?”

“He’ll be here soon, I think. But I don’t know...I couldn’t tell if they just called or called hours ago. My father was vague,” Cass said and she clapped her hands together. “But I thought you’d want to know...to greet him...”

“Thank you,” Lucy said and she wiggled out of her chair and stood up and gave Cass a hug.

Cass leaned close and whispered into her ear, “I don’t think I’m supposed to know...or you, too. So, maybe...” she put her finger to her lips.

“Of course,” Lucy said quickly. She hopped up and down and couldn’t help but grin. “I can’t believe it!”

“Okay, okay...au revoir, my friends. Continue the adorableness of your date. I’ll let you finish up.” Cass spun and exited the Tea Room, the bell jingled again after her. Lucy looked at the door and tried to wave goodbye, but Cass was too quick, and the door was already closing. She then turned to sit. Her mother had pushed the tea to the center of the table and was standing up.

“Wait,” Lucy said and she went back to her chair and started to sit down. “We don’t have to be done. I’m sure I have some time...”

Maxine reached out and grabbed Lucy’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It’s okay, Lucy. I’ve said all I needed to say. Go wait for Grant. I wouldn’t ever stand in the way of that. It’s true love, after all. Go be in love. Go to him.”