Foodchain

Petunia tossed the little sack of bones and skin into the air, then pounced as soon as it hit the grass. She shook it again, just for the hell of it, and proudly brought it over to Frank and A

“Oh, oh, you’re fucked.” Theo peered around the back end of the fire truck. “You are fucked but good. Dad! DAD! That Glouck dog just killed Doctor No’s dog!”

* * * * *

“Maxeeemussss!” Mr. Noe shrieked and wobbled in front of his dead dog. But he couldn’t bring himself to touch the corpse. Petunia rolled her eyes towards him, decided he was harmless and had no food, and turned her attention back to Frank and A

“For a dead dog, he sure is excited,” Girdler said, nodding at Maximus’s erection.

Sturm’s icy gaze slid over Frank and A

Frank shrugged. “I guess Petunia was in heat…and the little dog here thought he’d help himself…and well, Petunia wasn’t…ready.”

Sturm stared at A

“She’s with me,” A

“Well,” Sturm said, “this is one major fuckup, that’s for goddamn sure. I’m go

“Here he comes,” Asshole #3 said. “Looks upset. Where’d he get that rifle?”

Mr. Noe shouldered his way through the cluster of hunters, brandishing some kind of stocky European rifle with a banana clip. He jerked the bolt back and let it slam home. Everybody suddenly gave him some room to move; it was like Mr. Noe exhaled, and his breath blew everyone back five feet.

“Now just hang on here now—“ Sturm began.

Mr. Noe pulled the rifle to his shoulder and the barrel found Petunia.

Frank was on his feet, fist around an unopened can of Milwaukee’s Best Ice, and as Mr. Noe’s finger settled over the trigger, Frank flung the can at Mr. Noe’s head. Twelve full ounces of cold beer encased in whisper-thin aluminum cracked into Mr. Noe’s forehead and his rifle spit out a bullet that took out the side mirror of the fire truck instead of Petunia. Mr. Noe’s head snapped back and this time, his hat did fly off.

A

Mr. Noe shook his head, blinking rapidly. He found a white handkerchief in his coat pocket, fluffed it out and pressed it to the red half-moon on his forehead. His small eyes found Frank. “I think, Meester, you make a very big mistake.”

“Yeah,” Frank said.

I think, Meester, that I will shoot both you and the dog, yes?” Mr. Noe said, reshouldering his rifle.

“You do what you think you have to,” Frank said.

Mr. Noe pivoted, aiming at Petunia in the street. The hunters parted like the Red Sea, giving him a clear shot. Frank was all out of cans, so he simply whipped one of his long arms out and snatched the rifle from Mr. Noe’s hands. He jerked the banana clip out, aimed up at the sky, and fired off the remaining round.

“You aren’t shooting that dog today,” he said, tucking the clip into the back pocket of his jeans. Frank advanced on Mr. Noe, his eyes glowing with an u

Mr. Noe stared uncomfortably at this man who looked like he’d just crawled from inside of a gutshot elephant and took the rifle gingerly, keeping it well away from his white suit.

“Okay, Frank, okay,” Sturm said. “It’s been a long day already. Why don’t you head back to the hospital, get yourself cleaned up. You’ll feel better.”

“C’mon Frank,” A

* * * * *

She led him across the street. Sturm said something quiet to Mr. Noe, then called to Frank. “Frank. Hold up. Frank!” Sturm trotted over to them. He glanced at A

Sturm stopped at the crosswalk white line. Frank took three more steps and looked back. Sturm scuffed his boot against the pavement. “And just as important, I also just wanted to apologize for my behavior the other day, when me and Theo were getting a picture of the monkey.” Frank stopped and listened. “Didn’t mean to come on so strong. Sometimes my temper really gets a hold of me and I don’t know if it’s cause of the tumor or what, but it seems like when it happens, all I can do is spit fire. You’re doing a fine job. Keep it up. Now, you take that bottle and go on back to the office and have some fun.”

* * * * *

“Me and Petunia, we’re lucky, you know.”

“Why?”

A

“’Cause we met you, dumbshit.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You stopped him.”

Frank shook his head. “Nah. I just distracted him.”

“No. You stopped a man from shooting my dog. I owe you.”

Frank shook his head again. “Shit, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have been there.” He coughed out a chuckle. “Shit, if it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t of been there. Hell, I’m the one who brought all this to your town.”

A

“I don’t know. Sturm doesn’t seem to be in much of a hurry to pay me. Has he paid your family yet?”

“Of course.”

“All of it?”

A

“When’s he supposed to pay the rest?”

“I don’t know.”

“What if he doesn’t pay your family?”

“He will,” A

“No. But I’m not dying of cancer, either.”

They walked in silence for a while.

“All I know is that there’s an awful lot of cash coming into this valley,” Frank said. “And I don’t know if Sturm is go

* * * * *

They reached the vet hospital. Instead of going in, she uncoiled a hose, turned the water on, then drank deeply. She turned to him, letting the water hit her chest briefly. “Oops.” The thin cotton greedily drank the water, transforming the fabric into a transparent sheen. “You wouldn’t happen to have some kind of tub around here, would you?”