Fear Itself

Our lives were so carefree at that age. Tommy and I lived for playing games scheduled around unimportant things like going to school and mowing our lawns and delivering newspapers. Carefree, that is, until Catherine came to visit Teresa and Albert, an older childless couple, who invited their niece to come visit from the hills of Kentucky.

Catherine arrived like a southern angel from a foreign place called Louisville (pronounced “Louisville” by the natives) Kentucky. She arrived one evening while Tommy and I were immersed in a game of whiffle-ball. I was standing in the outfield (Mr. Crosby’s, or as we called him, shot-gun- Harry’s, front lawn) when Albert pulled up with Teresa in the front passenger seat and a bo

We moved out of the way so that their car could pass us and pull into their driveway whose curb served as third base. We went back to our game only a little curious about the bo

My teammates were hollering for me to throw the ball to them, but by the time I acknowledged their chants the base-ru

I don’t think it was love at first sight, but Catherine’s image warmed me like hot water to a mug of cocoa. She filled me instantly with her steeping glow and I felt so faint that my knees grew weak and I slumped to the ground. Fortunately, there lay the plastic whiffle ball that had struck me in the bean. I picked up the ball and nimbly tossed it in the direction of my teammates without looking, and then I took my time rising to my feet as my eyes gazed upon my future wife.

We continued to play whiffle ball but my mind wasn’t on the game. Up until the time I first saw Catherine I had no interest in girls.

They couldn’t catch a line drive. They couldn’t throw a baseball from third to first base; and if they could throw at all the ball would not travel anywhere near its intended destination. Girls were useless creatures.

When, eventually, everyone grew tired of our plastic baseball game I begged them to continue to play. I wanted an excuse to hang out in front of Teresa and Albert’s house so that I could find an opportunity to meet the young bo

What amazed me more than my own obsession was that no one else in my company seemed to have seen what I had seen. No one else had appreciated the beauty that I had discovered. How could they have missed the glow that enveloped her? The foreign way that she walked with the wiggle of her hips or the way that here cheeks rose like round radishes when she smiled?

I talked Tommy, begrudgingly, into retrieving his baseball glove and ball, while I grabbed my own, to play a little catch with Albert. I knocked on Albert’s side door and watched through the window half hoping that Catherine would answer the door and half petrified that she would. So I was both relieved and disappointed when Albert came trundling down the steps toward the side door which divided the living quarters from his unfinished basement.

When Albert came to the door I pointed to my glove, “Do you want to toss the ball around Albert?” I said, perhaps a little too excitedly.

Albert raked his fingers through his thi

“I’ll play… Uncle Albert, if you have an extra glove.” My angel stood at the entryway to the kitchen, having changed into a pair of dungarees and a pink t-shirt, atop the steps behind Albert. She was smiling and looking at me. I felt a feverish rush come over as my knees grew weak once again.

“Well, I only have the one glove.” Albert said.

Albert had a confused look on his face when Catherine, having noticed the old worn faded brown first-basemen’s mitt lying on the floor at Albert’s feet by the door, swooped down the steps grabbed the glove and said “I’ll play.” as if I hadn’t heard her the first time, leaving Albert out of the mix. Albert was such a grown kid that I think it actually hurt his feelings to be excluded. I noticed as we played that Albert kept peeking out through the front curtains of his living room and watching us laughing and talking and soft-tossing in his front yard. And to my surprise, Catherine had quite an arm. She could throw as hard as I could even if not as straight.

After that Catherine came to the ball field nearly every day and played baseball with us. As it turned out she could also hit a baseball as well as she could throw and catch.

Once the other kids’ saw that she could play they accepted her as one of the guys. As the summer wore on, though, my competition grew as the boys on the team, including Tommy, began to pursue her. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before someone made a move on her so one day after playing ball until just after dark I asked her to take a walk with me.

“Sure.” She smiled. “Where do you want to walk to?” her southern accent made her words sound like song.

“Yeah, where do you want to walk to?”

Tommy chimed in.

I gave Tommy a dirty look, “Didn’t you say you had to get home to watch your little sister?”

Tommy gave me a knowing look and conceded us our privacy disappearing as he did like a ghost. After Catherine and I rounded the corner of our street, out of sight of Teresa’s watchful eye, I gathered the courage to reach down and interlock my fingers with hers. Catherine looked at me and smiled and we walked and talked until we found our selves back near the ball-field. Catherine stopped as I continued to walk until our arms reached their elastic limits and I was unexpectedly jerked backwards into Catherine’s arms. There, before I could even gather my bearings, she pressed her soft pink lips to mine and she held me and kissed me, both our hands clasped to one-another’s. Catherine slipped the tip of her tongue into my mouth and when our tongues touched a continuous electric current passed through my body until I grew faint; floating in a world of blissful euphoria, a wave of endorphins swimming laps along the crevices of my brain. My palms and fingers soon found Catherine’s bare back and her hands slid up my shirt to my shoulders, our pelvis’s locked together at the hips, and we made out for what may have been days or hours or minutes. Her lips, like plump wet orange sections, became soft barriers which kept us from accidentally swallowing each other’s faces; our tongues soft sensual tangled tentacles which shared a common desire: cohabitation.