Ashen Winter

“Why did you leave?” Mom asked.

“We found Dad’s shotgun. But I’d better start at the begi

“Ten months.” Dad had clasped his hands together as if in prayer. “It seems like a miracle that you survived all that.”

“I wouldn’t have without Darla. I’m going to find her. Even if I get killed trying.” I held his eye, making an effort not to blink.

Dad stared steadily back at me. His eyes were hollow, dark and gaunt, as if the father I’d known had been replaced by a shadowed replica chiseled from the same stone. “It’s going to be hard just to get out of here. We’ve been here, what, four-and-a-half months?”

“Almost five,” Mom said.

“Why haven’t you left? Rebecca and I didn’t know if you were even still alive.” I ground my teeth—at Black Lake, at the volcano, at my parents. They clearly weren’t getting enough to eat. Mostly I was angry at myself—why hadn’t I come sooner?

“You didn’t notice the fence? And guys with guns?” Mom said.

“We did try,” Dad said. “Twice. Right after we got here. We got caught. Thrown into a punishment hut. I thought they’d let us starve to death in there, but Lester bugged the guards so much that they almost threw him into a hut of his own.”

“Lester got us released,” Mom said. “He’s very persistent—and a little crazy.”

“I noticed,” I said.

“Four days without food and water when you’re already weak is no picnic,” Dad said. “I wasn’t sure we’d survive much longer. So we didn’t try again.”

“We can’t leave now,” Mom said.

“Why not?” I asked.

“The girls need us. People started disappearing a few months ago. Not long after I organized the school. Mostly young girls. Every three or four days, we’d get up in the morning and discover more people missing. Whole families sometimes. Sometimes just the girls. I had to do something.”

“Your mother created a camp organization, civil defense, I guess. They call her The Principal. Talked me into helping.”

“People are still disappearing,” Mom said. “But not as many as before. And we keep the girls safe.”

“And the guards tolerate it? Your civil defense organization, I mean?”

“We’re not sure why. Maybe there’re two factions of guards. One taking girls, and one supposedly in charge. We keep a low profile, but they have to know what’s going on.”

It all fit. Alyssa being kept as a slave. Darla kept alive, instead of being flensed. The girls disappearing from the camp. I balled my left hand into a fist and punched the floor of the tent, getting nothing but bruised knuckles for the effort. I wanted to punch flesh, feel bones crack under my hands—preferably the bones of whoever was responsible for this whole cursed-to-ash situation. “I’ve got to go after Darla.”

“I can’t leave,” Mom said. “These girls are depending on me.”

“We patrol at night and guard the cleared zone around the girls’ tents,” Dad said. “But we can’t watch the whole camp.”

“Who’s we?” I asked.

“The prefects,” Dad said. “That was your Mom’s idea.”

“And I convinced him to be Head Boy,” Mom said.

Dad sighed heavily. “You’re the only one who calls me that, Janice.”

“You’ll always be my head boy,” Mom said with a coquettish smile.

Dad leaned over and smooched her.

“Um, gross. I’m thrilled to see you and all, but I do not want to watch you make out,” I said. “Who’s taking the girls?”

Dad broke their kiss. “We don’t know.”

“It’s got to be the guards,” Mom said.

“Probably. It’s time for di

“They feed you much?” I followed them out.

“Just enough food to keep us alive, not enough to give us the energy to fight.” Dad kicked a clump of snow.

“They’ve passed out vitamin pills three times since we’ve been here,” Mom said.

I shrugged.

We walked across the camp, rehashing the stories of our individual journeys as we went. A row of field kitchens was set up outside one of the fences. Black Lake mercenaries wearing winter camo were filling bowls and passing them through hatches in the fence in front of each kitchen. Unlike Camp Galena, the refugees here were organized in neat lines. Flash waved at us from one of the other lines, and Mom beckoned him to us.

Alyssa and Ben came over with Flash. Mom gave each of us bowls and spoons. “Be careful with these,” she said. “It’s hard to get more. I’ve got to go be The Principal.” She walked off to talk to people in the other lines.

“I’ve got to get out of here,” I muttered.

“Why?” Alyssa asked. “Flash said it’s not too bad. They get enough to eat, sort of. Everyone has a tent—even if some of them suck.”

“Are you crazy? Not too bad?”

“Anything’s better than being chained to a bed in the Anamosa prison.” She glared at me, and I had to look away.

“I guess it would be,” I said softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you in such a hurry to get away from me, anyway?”

I didn’t reply.

“Darla,” she said, scowling.

“Yeah. I’m going to escape. I just don’t know how yet.”

“I can plan an escape,” Ben said. “The guard pattern is suboptimal.”

“You can?” I asked. “How?”

“I have several ideas. I need to observe the guard patterns for at least a week to confirm their effectiveness.”

“A week? I’m leaving tonight.”

“You just got to us!” Dad said.

I didn’t reply. He was right. But finding my parents hadn’t fixed anything. It only made Darla’s absence even more painful.

“If you attempt to leave without adequate preparation,” Ben said, “you will likely be caught or killed, and your mission will fail.”

He had a point. Getting myself killed wouldn’t help Darla. But I couldn’t sit around, either. Couldn’t wait while she was . . . while the Peckerwoods—I didn’t even want to think about what might be happening to Darla. Why they were keeping her alive. “I can’t wait a week. She’s in danger.”

“Maybe I could devise a preliminary operational plan with two days’ observation. More time would be necessary to confirm and optimize it. How many people would be escaping?”

“Shh,” I said. We were approaching the front of the line, where a bored Black Lake guard slopped wheat gruel into my bowl. They didn’t mark my hand. “How do they keep track of who’s gotten food?” I asked Dad.

“They don’t. We do,” Dad said as we walked away, eating our gruel. “That’s part of what your mom is off doing. They cook the same amount every meal. If someone takes seconds, someone else goes without.”

“How many people must I plan for?” Ben asked me again.

“I don’t think Mom and Dad want to leave,” I said.

“No,” Dad said, “not until I know the people we’ve promised to protect are safe.”

I’d helped strangers on the road, helped Uncle Paul and Aunt Caroline on their farm, and saved Alyssa and Ben. But now, when I needed help, everyone except Ben seemed to be allied against me. I wanted to punch something in frustration but knew it wouldn’t do any good. Instead I said as flatly as I could manage, “I’m leaving. Darla needs me.”

“Absolutely not,” Dad said. “We just found each other. We’re not splitting up now.”