Broken Skies

It doesn’t hurt when the bond snaps, when Lir breaks it, but I feel it all the same. A loss, like something I didn’t even notice before is missing. Quick and painless, but it leaves me reeling backwards with my arms wrapped tightly around my stomach to anchor me, to hold myself together in the face of this new fracture in my already broken world.

“Jax, it’s not—” A hand lands on my back and sits for only a second before I whip away and whirl around to find Rym behind me. “Look—”

He has nothing that I want to hear. A mixture of loss and rage, that molten lava kind that’s been simmering since they tortured me, bubbles up and…out. It overflows and heads straight at the golden haired alien in front of me in a concentrated stream, smashing into him and bringing him to his knees with his hands pressed to his head and a silent scream on his face. There’s no wound, not a single mark on him but it’s no less a weapon than a knife and infinitely worse. A cold, cruel part of me smiles at his pain, but then a single thought pulls me back and sends me sprinting away as Rym crumples to the ground unconscious with green blood leaking from his nose.

Is that what I looked like when they put the kiun on me?

My heart pounds along with my feet, each step taking me farther and farther away from the crowd, the holo, Lir, and Rym’s very still body laying on asphalt. Tears drip down my cheeks and put a hazy film over the world in front of me. I don’t even bother to wipe them away, just let them drip off my chin and hit the ground beneath me.

I keep expecting to hear the sound of boots behind me, chasing me, just itching to drag me back into that underground facility and run more experiments. I’m sure my newfound skill would be of interest to Vitrad. Is it something they all can do, the focused mental gutting? No, it can’t be. If it were, they would have used it on me.

Now that I’ve used it, my anger feels like a living thing rattling at the cage of my body and anxious to get out. Its cry is convincing. Let me out. You will find peace with me. Just like before. It would be so easy to go back and just lay waste to their entire population and some enraged, primal part of me practically salivates at the thought. The E’rikon have no clue that they created a monster, one that hates the darkness but also craves the serenity that would come with its embrace.

No! I refuse to be a weapon of destruction. I already know what it feels like to kill and I will not give in to it. I will find another way.

I stop, close my eyes and just breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Each breath brings in a cooling calm that spreads through my body until I’m left sweaty and depleted standing in the middle of the street. But at least I feel like myself again.

In my frantic dash, I’ve managed to stay mostly on track. After a short backtrack and a series of turns, I’m back to the research facility. Not much further and I can spend the rest of my life just being thankful that I managed to get my brother back. He’s really all I need anyway. Just a little further.

I’ve slowed to a walk and the wound in my side is back to making its presence known with every step. My legs wobble and spots form in my vision. Is my nose bleeding? A quick swipe below my left nostril confirms that is the case. What?

Then a solid rock of exhaustion slams into me. The world shifts around me and I crash to my knees on the asphalt, dizzy and shaken. My new weapon has a price that is just now catching up with me. Something titters in the back of my mind…If you’d just given in, it wouldn’t be like this.

Blackness presses in around the edges of my vision, but I push it away and reach for my brother, finding the thread of our co

Jace? I think I’m going to need some help.

What’s going on? Where are you? Are you okay? The frantic pulse of his words hammers against the pain in my head.

Not far. The research facility. Did you reach Flint?

Yeah, I’m sitting in the back of his truck right now.

And Jastren?

Up front. Says he’s coming with us.

Send someone for me?

Are you okay? What’s going on? Jax?

I release the co

Watching for animals in the clouds, I let my mind drift. There’s so much that needs to be done. Exploring my abilities. Returning to Bridgelake to keep my promise to Emily. Preparing for a war I want no part of in which there’s a piece of me on either side and against people that shouldn’t be my enemy. So very much to do.

My head lolls from side to side and I find myself tracking the flight of a large bird. I whistle, a simple call my father taught me, and reach my hand up. Surprisingly, the bird changes its course to head toward me, flying lower and lower…until a face blocks my view.

For a moment, with the sun behind him, his hair looks golden with bits of green and my traitor heart tries to leap, but my eyes adjust and show me blond hair instead, with bits of leaves scattered through it. Blue eyes, like the sky without clouds peer down at me.

“You’re in deep trouble, aren’t you? Me too actually.” I pat his cheek and giggle. “Did Jace give you the ‘I can’t believe you didn’t listen to me’ glare? Don’t worry I’m sure you boys will kiss and make up.” I laugh, a ragged sound that evolves into a sob and then I’m crying again while Flint gathers me into his arms and picks me up off the ground.

He doesn’t say anything, just plods along the street carrying me with my head resting on his shoulder. Not an unpleasant way to travel, certainly better than walking.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

He pauses and tilts his head to the side so he can see my face. “For what? You didn’t do anything wrong Jax.”

“I’ve done a lot of wrong…” My voice trails off and I shake my head softly, tallying up my wrongs. Jace’s pain when I turned away from him. The blood leaking from Rym’s nose. The thunk of a knife into Zach’s neck. Me, battered, bruised and bloody, knife in hand and two slit throats before me. “A lot.”

His steps start up again, steady and even. “Nonsense. Anything you think you’ve done wrong can’t possibly overshadow what you’ve done for Jace today.”

I don’t respond and we walk in silence. When the barrier is in view, I feel a tug at my mind. Not Jace, someone else, tugging gently on a broken green string.

No words come through and even the emotions are faint, but it’s just enough that I know Lir is trying to get my attention. I squeeze my eyes shut, close the co

Once we cross the barrier, I don’t have to try so hard to shut out the intruder.

Flint places me in the back of the truck and I scoot up until I’m beside the cab. My brother looks at me with a combination of relief and exasperation and pulls me into a hug then lays down with his head in my lap. I absently stroke his hair and stare into the distance, letting the warmth of our co

The rumble of the truck starting jostles me. I watch the receding city until it’s out of sight, the entire time Lir flutters around in my head, his attempts at contact getting weaker and weaker until they cease completely. Something squeezes my hand and I look down to find Jace’s eyes studying me.

“It’s going to be okay,” he says.

But I know it’s not. I don’t know if anything is ever going to be okay again.

EPILOGUE

One Week Later…

“Try again,” says Jastren.

Closing my eyes with a huff, I try to focus on linking with him. Still no luck. Though my co