Stone cold

“You have everything you need but

evidence,” Healy

said.

“That’s all that’s

missing,” Jesse said.

“Except motive.”

“Well, yeah, that too.”

“Gee,” Healy said. “Hot on the

trail.”

“They did it,” Jesse said.

“I believe you,” Healy said.

“But I’m not the one that needs to

believe you.”

“I know,” Jesse said.

He drank some coffee.

“I can’t even get a search

warrant.”

“Judges hate to issue them on cop

intuition,” Healy said. “Want

some surveillance help?”

“No,” Jesse said.

“Might prevent them from killing the next one,” Healy

said.

“I think I’m the next one,”

Jesse said.

Healy looked at him and raised his eyebrows and didn’t say

anything.

“They’ve been taking pictures,”

Jesse said.

“Of what?”

“My home, the station.”

Healy frowned, watching the steam rise from the triangular tear

in the plastic top of his coffee cup.

“They’re interested in you,”

Healy said.

“I’d say so.”

“And they’re serial killers,”

Healy said.

“I’m convinced of it.”

“And they kill people at random, for no obvious reason,” Healy

said.

“They seem to.”

The snowflakes were very small, and with no wind they fell straight down, like white rain.

“You figure you’re being penciled in as their next victim,”

Healy said.

“Yes.”

“And you figure the picture-taking is foreplay?”

“Something like that.”

Healy said, “I can give you a couple of troopers to watch your

back.”

Jesse shook his head.

“This might be an opportunity,” Jesse said.

“They try to kill you and you catch them in the act?”

“Yeah.”

“Serial killers like ritual,” Healy said.

“So they’ll come at

you from the front, and shoot you one time each.”

“Probably at the same time.”

“Simultaneous climax,” Healy said.

“You think you can keep them

from killing you?”

“Yes.”

“You trust them to come at you the same way,” Healy

said.

“People like these people, they’ll do it the

same.”

“Let’s hope so,” Healy said.

“And, if I fuck up,” Jesse said,

“you can avenge

me.”

58

It was twenty minutes to midnight when Je

“I just did the eleven-o’clock

news,” Je

you.”

“No,” Jesse said. “I was

awake.”

“Your voice sounds like you were

sleeping,” Je

said.

“I’m awake,” Jesse said.

“I wanted to apologize,” Je

“Okay.”

“You were sleeping.”

“And you called to apologize for waking me?”

“No, silly, for the other day, when I wanted you to give me

special access.”

“Which is more than I get,” Jesse said.

“I know,” Je

was so bad about it was, here you

are with this huge serial killer problem to deal with, and I’m

thinking only about what would be best for me.”

“What’s new,” Jesse said.

Je

“Well,” she said. “You are

grouchy.”

“I am,” Jesse said.

“It’s okay,” Je

“You deserve to be.”

“Thanks.”

“What I want you to know is that I realize I was thinking only

about myself and my career when I asked you to let me in with a camera.”

Jesse was silent.

“And I realize that I have often been that way with you.”

“I know,” Jesse said.

“You’re not going to help me with

this,” Je

you?”

“You’re doing fine by yourself,”

Jesse said.

“I’m going to try to be better,”

Je

Jesse waited.

“It’s a hard balancing,” Je

said. “If I go too far the other

way, I give myself away. I become entirely dependent on someone else to direct my likes and dislikes, what I want to do, what I should do. You know?”

“Yes,” Jesse said.

“And after a while I resent it, and the resentment builds, and

after a while I explode and go the whole other way. Instead of being all about you, it becomes all about me.”

“Be nice if you could find a middle

ground,” Jesse

said.

“Yes,” Je

Jesse was lying on his back in the dark, with the phone hunched

in his left shoulder. His handgun was on the night table beside the bed. There was no sound in the apartment.

“Maybe I can,” Je

“We both have changes to make,” Jesse said.

“I wonder who we’ll be when

we’ve made them,” Je

said.

“Whoever we are,” Jesse said,

“we won’t be

worse.”

“I can’t seem to get you out of my

life,” Je

said.

“I know,” Jesse said.

“Can you wait?” Je

“Until I get better?”

“I have so far,” Jesse said.

“But will you still?”

“I don’t know, Je

ahead.”

“I don’t want a life without you in

it.”

“That’s not entirely up to you,

Je

Je

“Is there anyone else?” Je

“Not yet,” Jesse said.

“But there might be?”

“Je

would be far less complicated if I

could be happy without you.”

“I know,” she said.

“But so far,” Jesse said, “I

can’t.”

They were both quiet, still co

“The pressure about those serial murders must be awful.”

“Everyone feels it would be good to catch them,” Jesse

said.

“Including you,” Je

“That’s where the most pressure

is.”

Jesse didn’t comment.

“And you have to carry it alone.”

“Not entirely,” Jesse said.

“I wish I could help you,” Je

“Be good if you could,” Jesse said.

Again they allowed the silence to settle.

“I’m sorry,” Je

“I know.”

“I’m working on it,” she said.

“I am too.”

“I know.”

There was more co

“We’ll get there,” Je

finally.

“We’ll get somewhere,” Jesse

said.

59

When Jesse came into the station house Molly was at the front desk.

“You’ve reached new heights of

popularity,” she

said.

“Hard to believe,” Jesse said.

“Tony Lincoln called,” Molly said.

“He and Mrs. Lincoln will be

downtown this morning and would love to buy you lunch.”

“I have reached new heights,” Jesse said.

“Told you,” Molly said.

“They say where?”

“Gray Gull,” Molly said.

“Twelve-thirty.”

“Call them back,” Jesse said.

“Tell them I’ll meet them

there.”

“What do you suppose they’re

doing?” Molly said.

“Maybe they’ll tell me,” Jesse

said. “At lunch.”

“You might think about being a little careful,” Molly said.

“Bring some backup maybe?”

“Don’t want to discourage them,”

Jesse said.

“We don’t want them discouraging you, either,” Molly said. “In a

ma

“If it comes to confrontation,” Jesse said, “I figure I’m better

than they are.”

“And if you’re not?” Molly said.

Jesse shrugged.

“Jesse, you’re a good man and a good cop,” Molly said. “Better

than this town deserves.”

“Thank you.”

“It matters what happens to you,” Molly said.

“The ugly truth of it, Moll, is that it doesn’t matter a hell of