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“You’re going out with the same guy that for whatever reasons caused you to lock yourself away from relationships?”
“Yes,” I tell him impatiently. “I had this idea—”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Casey,” Te
“To get revenge,” I assure him quickly and then attempt a confident smile. “Make him suffer.”
Te
“I’m going to make him crazy with wanting me. I’m going to make him think he actually has a chance with me. I’m going to make him beg like a dog, and then I’m going to tell him fuck off because he’s not good enough for me.”
I think it’s a brilliant plan now that I just said it out loud.
Te
“Well, I’m not sure—”
Stepping back into me, Te
“That’s probably—”
His hand squeezes a little. “Are you going to give him a bit of a hand job first? Just to work him up good?”
“Te
His hand now tugs on me, raising me on my tiptoes until his nose is almost touching mine. With barely controlled rage, Te
“Please, Te
He releases his hold on me abruptly and asks in a strangled voice that causes my heart to squeeze painfully. “Are you going to do any of those things, Casey?”
“No,” I say immediately, and I know it’s true. While I may not have thought this plan through all the way, Te
“It’s a stupid plan, Goldie,” he murmurs. “I don’t know what this guy did to you, but it’s not worth breaking down everything you’ve been working to build up.”
“What do you mean?” I ask cautiously.
“I mean, you become just like him if you engage in this mind fuck.”
“I am nothing like him,” I snarl, stepping forward. Poking him in the chest, I say, “You have no idea what he did so you can’t possibly know how important this is to me.”
“Then tell me,” Te
Shaking my head, I turn away and walk up to Te
Then I turn to look at him and with imploring eyes, I say, “I’m asking for your support on this and to trust me that I won’t cross a boundary that’s disrespectful to you.”
Te
“What are you saying?” I ask as I can feel my lungs starting to deflate in anxiety.
Te
He’s giving me an ultimatum. He’s telling me that if I go through with this, which to my way of thinking is just going to be di
I stick my chin up and even though I know in my heart this is probably the wrong thing to do, I say, “So be it.”
Te
I go ahead and climb on, my feelings raging an absolute war inside me that causes my chest to ache and my stomach to roll with queasiness. I’m doing the right thing… I can feel it in my bones. The only way I can let my past go is by standing up for myself and making Jeff understand exactly how it feels to have someone reject you. While I know his ego won’t be as fragile as mine was at the tender age of eighteen, I know it will hurt him just a bit. And at least I’ll be able to expel all of my bitterness at him. That has to be psychologically beneficial, right?
The ride to my house doesn’t take long. Te
“Te
He shakes his head and gives me a wry smile. “I won’t,” he says simply, and my heart lightens. “I’m going to hold it against me that I even thought to get involved with someone like you. Tired of the fucking games, Casey.”
Te
My first real relationship already over.
Chapter 16
Te
Christ… that woman is maddening.
She’s stupid, ignorant, willful, and bratty.
Heartless.
That’s what she is… absolutely fucking heartless.
She’s a woman that’s been hurt, a voice says inside of me. It changed her into something no one should ever have to be.
Not my problem though. Not up to me to try to change her.
“Fuck,” I yell out to the wind as my bike motors down the highway. I figured I’d go to The Last Call and get fantastically drunk tonight. Maybe Hunter and Brody will be there, and I can rant to them about what a stupendous idiot their sister is.
Or, you could go and stop this shit in progress, a voice inside me says. Drag her ass out of the restaurant. You’ve done it once before.
Yeah, that is so not happening again. It’s different this time because Casey knows I have feelings for her, and she’s choosing to do this despite the havoc it could cause. She’s ignoring my feelings in this matter.
Just like you’re ignoring her feelings, that little voice says.
“Shut the fuck up,” I yell out to the wind.
Just shut the fuck up, I tell myself, so I can rationally think this thing through.
Okay… Casey admitted she’s falling hard for me. I fucking remembered every bit of our conversation from last night, so I wasn’t as drunk as I thought. She’s truly changed and she’s changed because she wants to try to build something with me.
She’s also a smart woman and most of all, I’ve come to see that she has a heart the size of the ocean. She would never do anything to intentionally hurt me.