The Wounded

My eyes found a bright white paw and followed it to the lowered muzzle of a dark brown wolf. A dead rabbit lay at its feet. It nudged the animal and stepped backwards, it nose still pointed downwards. It was smaller than others we had encountered, a juvenile, almost a pup, its fur down and short. A white wolf stood behind it a little way. I didn’t know if it was female, but it emanated wild beauty. When it stepped forward, the darker one growled, and it immediately lowered its stomach to the ground.

I was still frozen in mid-stretch, my eyes moving wildly in my head. Gus sat up to my right and saw the two wolves. He moved slowly to pick up his gun.

“No!” I said. “Wait.” I pumped my hands gently at my side.

The young wolf backed away, turned, and ran, leaving the rabbit carcass spread over wide, green leaves like an opened gift.

I didn’t understand it. But no one else seemed bothered by the animals’ strange behavior and were just fighting over who got to eat the rabbit. Something tugged at my mind. Why would two pups do that? Where was their pack?

I should have learned by now that the answers to my questions were never good.

*****

The answer swung before me like a nightmarish curtain. Hollow eyes stared back at the forest, stretching to their home, one to which they could never return. I’d started to ask how we would know if we were close, and now the question sagged on my lips and slipped to the ground.

Seven dead, adult wolves dangled from a wire strung between two trees. I gagged, and the Survivors bent their heads in shame. We must have been close. Only the Superiors could be this cruel and disrespectful to life outside their walls.

We probably should have left it alone, but I was glad we cut them down. If we could, we’d have buried them, but there was no time.

“You know, I read that farmers used to do this to protect their livestock, hang predators’ bodies over the fence as a warning. But what are they protecting here?” Pelo questioned.

“Only themselves,” I muttered as we walked into the shadow of the first wind turbine.

My feet faltered, soon we would be separating. Pelo seemed to sense my trepidation. He smoothed the hair from my face. “You don’t have to do this, Rosa. I could go in your place.”

I shook my head. “They need you in Pau. I don’t know it like you do. I never really saw the outer rings.”

“Could I forbid you to go?” He raised his eyebrows, eyes not hopeful because he knew the answer.

“This is just the way it has to be, Dad,” I said determinedly, saying the word on purpose, with purpose.

I shrugged and kicked the dirt in front of me. The great arms of wind turbines cut moving shadows across our path. The others were waiting. The shadows were like the hands of a clock, counting down each step to the plan, each possible way it could go wrong. We were all hinged off each other. I stripped a branch of its leaves and scrunched them in my hand. It had to work.

Time to move.

We walked slower and more quietly, each shadow the tip of an hour, warning us we were nearly there.

The earth turned cooler. The hum grew louder as the windmills encompassed us and barred us in. The looming silhouette of the outer wall of the Superiors’ compound stood intimidating us with its plai

Rash shoved his hands in his pockets. “Whatever, Soar. I’ll see you soon,” he said, turning away from me.

Pelo gave me a look of devastation, of pride and fear. He didn’t speak, just followed Rash, stringing his arm over Rash’s shoulders as they walked away. I laughed as Rash dipped and wiggled out of the embrace.

Matthew’s hand lingered. “Be careful,” he said, knowing it was inadequate, but what else could he say?

Being careful would be to turn around and walk away from this. We gave them our handhelds. I took one last look at Orry’s location. It was so far from here. I sighed in relief and aching.

We stepped forward, disco

The others melted into the trees. The barest rustle the only evidence there had ever been more than two of us, the great shushing of wind turbines absorbing their footsteps. They would wait for us at the meeting point for three days. If we failed to get there in time, they were going to carry out the less sophisticated, second part of our plan—blow up the targets set out by the Spiders. Factories, research centers, and other places whose destruction would cripple the Superiors’ operations. Then, as a parting gift, they would blow a hole in the outer walls. I prayed I would be there to see it and see them again.

I cursed as we moved tentatively away from them. It was like having my towel ripped from me after I’d stepped out of the shower. My security, my safety, gone.

*****

It had seemed like a good idea but, standing next to Joseph, our hearts drumming and shaking the ground like an earthquake, I was starting to waver. I stomped my foot and pushed my doubts into the ground. This was the right thing to do. It was the only thing we could do.

We removed our coats and jumpers, leaving them in a green pile on the sodden ground. Our white shirts, flapped hollowly over our frightened bodies. We wore our flags of surrender.

Joseph’s hand found my waist, and he pulled me into a rushed, tight embrace. His voice shook a little as he said, “I love you.”

I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his, letting that calm, gold sea lap and wash over me for one more second before we threw ourselves into the flames. His mouth crushed mine, and the sea erupted into choppy, fling-you-from-your-boat kind of waters. I pulled back for breath and gri

I dropped my eyes to the smudgy ground, feeling words pushing their way up from deep inside my rattling chest. “Joseph, I need to say something to you before…” I couldn’t quite finish. I didn’t know what came after before.

He curled a strong finger under my chin and lifted my face to his. “What is it?” he asked, his eyes blinking slowly, revealing that glow, that forest of green and gold.

I bit my lip and mumbled, “Thank you.”

He raised his eyebrows and searched my eyes, waiting for the rest. I thought about all the times he had lifted me up, saved me, loved me. And the times when I crossed my arms over my body and kept him out. He never gave up. I couldn’t say I regretted how it happened; it was part of what made us strong now. I had to learn how to trust him. He had to learn to be patient with me. But now I felt like I was meeting him at the same level. I placed my hand on his broad chest and let his warmth sink into to me.  I sighed softly, letting the scared, pregnant teenager separate from my shadow and blow away. “Thank you for loving me when I didn’t deserve it.”

He dipped his chin so our noses were almost touching, deep breaths pulsing out from his body. “Rosa, not that you always made it easy, but you need to know something. You,” he pointed one strong finger at my heart and tapped it on the hard bone of my sternum once, “were never undeserving of love.” He kissed me gently on the forehead, sliding his hands down my arms and creating a shiver.

I tried unsuccessfully to squeeze the tears back in. “Ok.” I smiled grimly, no teeth, just my lips pressed together because the moment couldn’t last, even though I wanted it to. “You ready?” I asked, half-hoping he’d say, ‘Nah forget it, let’s go home to Orry.’