The Wounded

“Ouch!”

Something soft and bony crunched beneath my foot.

“Geez, Soar. I know you’ve got stuff on your mind, but can you watch where you’re going?” A white smile floated in the darkness, then arms grabbed at me and wrestled me to the floor. I slapped at him weakly, and then melted into his embrace.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, although I knew he’d pretty much been camping here since I’d run in, screaming, with Orry in my arms.

Rash punched my shoulder lightly as I came to rest next to him, my feet swinging over the edge of the wall. “Just looking out for you,” he said lightly. Then his voice caught a little. “You know, this really sucks.”

I leaned on his shoulder. “Yep.”

“How’s beautiful blond man taking it?” Rash asked sincerely.

“I don’t know. Bad, probably,” I said, my eyebrows drawn together as I realized I hadn’t really asked him, and he hadn’t asked me.

“Probably?”

I let my hand rest on top of his. “Yeah, you know, I think we’re both trying so hard to be there for each other that neither of us can let any of it out. I’m scared if I fall apart in front of him, he won’t be able to cope. We’re barely keeping it together as it is.”

There was silence for a while as we listened to the hum and clang of people settling in for the night.

“How about we do a little bit of a leaning-on train?”

“Huh?”

“Blond man leans on you, and you lean on me…”

“And who do you lean on?”

He waved the air in front of him. “Nah, I’ll be fine,” he said dismissively, adding, “and if I really need comfort, I’ve got the beautiful, young Essie to lean on or lie on or whatever.”

I laughed, a strange feeling. “You’re so charming. And she’s not that young. She’s older than you, you know?”

He bumped me again. “Yes, I am. And yes, I know, but I’m very mature for my age.” He laughed as he spoke, not able to get out that last part with a serious expression on his face.

“You’re something… I’m not sure mature is the right word though!”

We were quiet for a moment. The brief humor was just that.

I sighed and pretended we were under the stars.

Orry, please live. All these people love you and need you. Live.

“Hey, wa

“Probably not,” I said.

He ignored me and continued, “Have you noticed how there’s a lot more men than women down here?” he asked, talking in spooky, hushed whispers.

I shook my head. I hadn’t noticed. After a while, the Survivors and the people down here had started to meld together. The only noticeable difference was at nighttime, when screens illuminated the Survivors’ faces and firelight warmed the faces of the original occupants of this cavern.

I tried to force myself to think about something other than Orry, but it was like trying to force a desk through a bathroom window. It didn’t fit.

“Geez, you’re slow,” he said, flashes of white bouncing of his teeth from the fires and battery light below.

I remember noticing there were no children. But I was used to that. There were however quite a few teenagers, teenage boys. No girls.

Rash was watching me, bouncing his legs. He smirked as my eyes widened in realization and clapped his hands. “And there it is… It’s a miracle, the girl has a brain.”

I scowled and elbowed him hard in the side.

“Where are all the young women?” I asked, quite sure that I didn’t really want to know.

“Well, do you really think once the Superiors found out about this place, they would let one of us just make his own little society without some sort of payback?” His tone turned serious after that. “They took all the girls, the women of ‘child bearing’ age, in exchange for leaving the rest alone. From what I hear, most of the girls volunteered to go.” He shrugged. “It was that, or they all died.”

“When did this happen?”

“About a year and a half ago,” Rash replied.

So it was just after the Survivors took us in. God, they were despicable. I sighed deeply.

“Thanks for that,” I said sarcastically. “I feel a whole lot better.”

“Sorry, I was just trying to distract you…” he said, tapping his chin.

“Thanks for nothing,” I said, a slight smile teasing its way onto my lips.

I sighed. The distraction was fleeting, and in its place was that cold fear wrapping around me. Each strand was thin as a spider’s web and strong as steel wire, pulling tighter and tighter. It came with the realization that we were probably being watched. That the net of the Superiors was drawing closed. The opening was getting smaller, and we needed to do something before we were all trapped.

Rash stopped jittering and put his arm around my shoulders. “It’s going to be ok, Soar.”

I wanted to believe him so badly.

Tears dried and welled, dried and welled. There was no end to this pain. And if it ended, that only meant an abyss would crack open, and we would be thrown in together.

It was closeted. The smell of a fizzled candle singed my nose.

And the sound. The worst sound and the only sound to make.

His hulking form crouched on the edge of the mattress. I padded my hands around, searching for the matches. Strike, fizz, light.

It illuminated the destruction, the result of holding everything in until there had to be an out.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes red-rimmed and still fighting back tears.

I struggled with the sight. My capsule smashed to pieces, splinters poking violently out at every angle.

I knelt down and put my arms around him as far as they could go, trying to bring him into me, to hold him up and let him lean on me. He wept. I didn’t. I would be strong for him, just as he had been strong for me so many times.

“Sh. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter,” I soothed.

Nothing mattered. Our son was dying, literally disintegrating before our eyes. I shuddered and tried not to tremble at the enormity of it. I clasped Joseph tighter. He was solid like a rock but slowly crumbling on the inside. Sadly now, we were halfway matching.

Joseph

I tried not to fall apart. I needed to keep it together, be strong for both of them. But she found me; she caught up with me. I was just so damn scared, and I’m trying not to let it show all over my face. Because I feel it in every breath, in every tense muscle. I know I’m slowly breaking apart. And I can’t. Because if Orry dies, I won’t just lose my son, I’ll lose her. She’ll disappear, and there’ll be no reaching her.

Somehow, I fell asleep, curled in a ball with Rosa’s arms reaching over my back, her hand lying flat on my chest. I breathed in and her hand slid backwards, away from me. I grabbed it before it fell behind me and held it over my heart. Her fingers tapped gently, and I knew she was awake. She mumbled and rolled away from me. My heart strained. We had precious few moments together, and I was worried they were ru

She pulled up to sitting and said, “I’m going back to the infirmary.” I shifted, ready to jump up, but she patted my leg. “Stay. Rest. I’ll come get you if something changes.”

I didn’t know what time it was, but there wasn’t even a hint of light. I closed my eyes and felt her pulling the blanket over my shoulder. I didn’t like it. I was the one who should be doing that. I should be taking care of her, of Orry. I clenched my fists. I hated my weakness. I hated how tired I was that, even in my anger, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I returned to sleep, tense and angry.

*****

A thin amount of light shone through the thick curtain of our hovel, as Rosa liked to call it. She despised living down here. She needed to be close to the sky. How else was all that lightning and fire going to escape? I gri