The Wall

“Well, at least we know you’ll survive getting over the wall,” Pietre said, grimacing. I think he’d hoped I would fail at this also. “Now, let’s discuss the rest of our mission.”

We talked and pla

I lowered myself over the turret and scrambled down the Wall, skidding and scraping my arms as I went. I felt less in control, like I was sliding down ice. I tried to put my shoes on as I walked, hopping on one leg whilst trying to jam a shoe on my foot, but I tripped over. “What’s the rush?” Careen said as she caught my arm.

I explained to Careen I hadn’t told Joseph about the training and he would be angry. She nodded through my huffed explanations and waited until I finished to speak. She blinked at me with her perfectly symmetrical blue eyes. “You have to tell him, Rosa. He’ll understand.” Her faith in him was not reassuring. She flipped her hair and shrugged off her seriousness. “That was fun wasn’t it, the climbing?”

I looked at her, confused by the sudden change in her mood and conversation, I should have been used it by now but she was so strange sometimes. “I guess…” I said, raising my eyebrows. We slowed down to a walk as we approached the edge of the trees.

Careen said goodbye and I watched her gracefully pluck her way between the plants at the tree line. She made sure she stayed just out of sight, practicing her camouflaging skills.

Pietre stayed with me. He was acting shifty and it made me uncomfortable. I stepped out of the cover of the trees, peering back and forth to check for people. I could see our house from here. I wondered if I had time to run to Odval’s and collect Orry before Joseph returned but decided against it, too much too explain. I took two steps towards home and Pietre called me back. I turned around and he approached me. He took both my shoulders and sort of shuffled me into position so my back was completely facing my home. He held up my arm and ran his fingers along the blood-soaked cloth. “Take care of this properly,” he said and then he leaned in slowly and whispered into my ear. “There. All done—now he knows.”

I turned and felt the sound clipped from the air, my heart stopped beating and the ground wobbled under my feet. Joseph was standing at the top of the road, having just stepped off a spi

I shoved Pietre’s chest hard but he was unaffected, giving me an unfeeling stare. Unsympathetic. “Why did you do that?” I asked.

“I was doing you a favor.” The hell he was.

I thought about the way he’d purposefully moved me and leaned in so close, his lips brushing my ear. “But he could have thought that you and I were…”

At this, he laughed wholeheartedly and cruelly. “You and me? You know, that’s why I like Careen. She’s simple; she knows what I need and she gives it to me,” he sneered. “This,” he motioned between the two of us, “would so not be worth it.”

“You’re disgusting,” I spat.

I turned towards my house and ran with desperate, stumbling footfalls. Although, I wasn’t sure what I was ru

As I ran towards the house, I pulled out the handheld communicator I’d been given and called Odval. My fingers were shaking so hard I missed the buttons several times.

“Can you hold onto Orry for a while longer?” I asked, trying not to sound as frantic as I felt, my feet trying to pick their way between the cobblestones and only managing to trip up on every loose one.

She paused. I could hear Orry babbling in the background. “That’s fine. Is everything ok?”

I forced myself to smile while I spoke, “Yes, yes, everything’s fine. Um… Joseph and I just wanted some time to ourselves, if that’s all right? Just a couple of hours…”

“You know I love having him here. How about I keep him overnight and you pick him up in the morning? I need you to have a look at my bed; I think some of the springs need…”

I cut her off. “Yep! That’d be great. I’ll come by early in the morning.” I was at the door. I cursed myself. We were leaving tomorrow. How had I let it get this far without telling him?

I’d ruined everything.

I steeled myself, taking a deep breath and pushed the door ajar, listening to it creak and screech with anticipation. Or maybe that was just the noise in my head.

I stood in the doorway, panting, watching him move around the house, changing out of his work clothes, putting dirty clothes in the hamper. Doing normal things when there was nothing normal about what he’d just seen. I stood on the edge, an observer. I was gripping the sill with my toes but I didn’t want to step in. Stepping in meant owning up. I just kept my eyes on Joseph, noticing him, noticing the changes I’d failed to see before now.

Before he used to have to fill every gap, every break in conversation with chatter. Now there was a stillness to him, a contemplative age that smoothed his face and dwarfed my own maturity. Was it his purpose, his need to help people? I envied it so much. I couldn’t quiet my thoughts for even a second. I was a whirlwind, a hurricane that swept in and destroyed everything in my path.

His control was unbearable. I’d expected him to come at me. Shout and scream. But he ignored me.

I pulled a bandage from the first aid kit and wrapped my wrist tightly, while he moved to the kitchen and tried to wash the dishes. The dull collision of ceramic against steel the only sound the house could abide. I stepped forward and the floorboards creaked under my feet. I was sneaking up on him like a thief in my own home. He stopped washing, letting a cup fall into the sudsy water, gripping the sides of the sink with his head bowed. Every muscle in his arms was tensed, like he was silently trying to rip the sink from the bench. It warned me not to come any closer.

“It’s not what you think,” I squeaked, my throat closing over slowly like the petals of a night bloom. “Pietre and I, he… we…” Damn it!

He turned to face me, suddenly looking huge, a powerful man looming over me, daring me to come up with something to explain my behavior. “What do you think I think?” His face was tight but I could see the hurt in his eyes.

“That there’s something going on between Pietre and me…?” As I said it, it seemed the most unlikely conclusion to come to.

He laughed at me and I shrank smaller still. It was a bitter sound. “You and him? That’s ridiculous. I know exactly what you’re doing. Damn it, Rosa, you’re training. You’re… leaving me.” He started muttering to himself, saying something like he should have guessed but he didn’t want to see it. The words sprinkling out like salt onto the weathered floor.

I took a step closer and he took a step back. “No,” I whispered. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll be back.” I was pumping my hands now, trying to calm him. It didn’t work.

His whole body shook and he put his hand up as if to say, Stop! Don’t come any closer.

“Where’s Orry?” he asked, his eyes flitting around the room, avoiding my own.

“He’s with Odval. He’s safe.” I felt pitiful. How could I explain this to him?

He turned his back to me again, turning on the tap and leaning down to take a drink. Every breath in his body was exaggerated, the anger building, his chest and shoulders seeming to swell with it.

He spun to face me; I felt my own resolve hardening. This was not the best way to tell him but I still felt this was the right thing to do. I straightened myself and faced him front on, nose pointed upwards in defiance.