The Wall

Cal spoke, I wish he hadn’t, even his voice gave me the creeps now. He directed his speech towards me, sending it on a dark, grey sloth of a cloud, his words hitting my face like wet mud. “The Woodland soldiers are doubling back. Surveillance shows they will be here in approximately two hours. We need to evacuate. Now.” He sounded all soldiery. He reached his hand out to me like he expected me to take it so he could pull me out the door. I glared at him, willing him to spontaneously burst in flames. Poof! Into dust! I imagined a swirl of Cal ash being sucked up into the air-conditioning vents. Sadly, no luck. He just stood there blinking, clueless.

Joseph’s arm gripped me a little tighter. I happily dissolved into his chest.

Everyone stared at me now, but I didn’t have the effect Joseph did. They looked at me like I was an a

Gus spoke this time. He was all business, which suited me fine. “Pack your possessions and meet us at the dog room. We’ll fit you out and show you what to do.”

Throughout the commotion, Apella looked shell-shocked frightened, her big blue eyes wide, her tiny body shaking. I walked to her and took her hand. Her eyes were glassy, vacant. She wasn’t doing so well. “Apella, look at me.” She stared right through me. “It’s all right. Look at me. I need your help.” I considered slapping her, my hand kind of aching to slap someone. Instead, I took Orry from Joseph and placed him gently in her lap. If I gave her something to do, maybe she would snap out of it or at least be distracted. “Can you look after him for me?” She tipped her chin ever so slightly. “You packed up?” I asked Alexei. He nodded. “Ok. I’ll meet you down there. I need to get something.”

People filed out of the room quietly. Now that we knew what we were doing, the arguing was over. Then it was just Joseph and me. Cal turned back and gave me a lingering, wounded look as the door closed. I wished it had hit him in the face.

Joseph swayed a little and sat down on the bed. I rushed to him. He was still a little weak. He pulled his hair from his face and searched my eyes. I gulped. Holding out his hand, he pulled me towards him. He laced his fingers in mine, heat ru

“You heard them—we need to get moving,” I said, avoiding eye contact as I started throwing things in the pack we were given. I was vibrating. My heart not settling to a rhythm, fast, slow, beat one, beat one, two, three…

He held me still and put his hands to my face, turning it slowly against my resistance to meet his eyes. “I have two questions. One…” he leaned down and kissed my top lip, sparks dancing in our eyes, “why are you and Apella so chummy all of a sudden? And two…” he moved in again, his mouth pulling at my bottom lip, those sparks igniting into flame, “why were you staring at that boy like you were trying to saw him in half with your eyes?”

Lie, I thought. I bit my lip, blinking, stalling. I was trying to come up with a decent lie, anything. Putting my hands in my pockets, all I could fish out was lint and a ball of paper that had been through the wash so many times, it had become a solid ball. I didn’t want to answer either of those questions.

“For your information, I was trying to make him spontaneously combust!” I said.

He let his hands fall but didn’t break eye contact. He rested his forehead against mine.

We didn’t have time for this. “He kissed me,” I blurted. His eyes dropped down, hurt, angry—I don’t know. I put my finger under his chin, trying to lift it but it was like he was made of stone. Even in a weaker state, he was too strong for me.

“And what did you do?” he muttered softly, still staring at the floor.

I was indignant. What did he think I did? Jumped on him and had my way with him in front of the sled dogs? “I kicked him,” I said, standing back with my hands on my hips.

I could see his brows rise beneath the curtain of blond curls. He pounded his hand in his fist. “Where is he? I’ll kill him.” I felt panicked. The last thing we needed was a fight. I looked at him, bewildered.

He lifted his head, his eyes gleaming. He chuckled.

“It’s not fu

Pulling on the thick, padded boots, I paused, something occurring to me. “Why aren’t you angry, or at least surprised?”

He shook his head, laughing a little. “Rosa, I’m not an idiot. You’re a beautiful girl. You don’t think men might try and take advantage of you?” I snorted. He was an idiot. Was he serious? “But I also know you can take care of yourself.” His confidence in me was startling and probably unwarranted. I blushed, covering it by throwing him the boots and a hat, which he caught easily. He put the boots on and stood. I walked up to him and pulled the hat down over his ears, giggling. He looked hilarious. His hair was poking out at all angles under the white, wool cap. But his eyes, his eyes looked amazing, the white providing the crispest backdrop for the green. I tried not to get sucked into them and show how easily I could lose myself.

I cocked my head to the side like I was listening for something. “Is that why you like me, because you think I’m beautiful?” I hated that my heart was tripping over itself. That it mattered at all. It was a stupid question. No answer he gave me would be a good one.

He looked down at me and put his hands on my shoulders, like he was going to give me a stern talking to.

“No,” he said, finitely. I shouldn’t have been hurt. I had asked for it. I stared at the floor. My white outfit made me look like a giant marshmallow. “I love you because you’re beautiful and you don’t seem to realize it.”

At this I laughed, waving my hand in the air as I took a step back from him. “You know, you should write this stuff down. You could make a pamphlet and hand it out to inept boys who have trouble talking to girls.”

He smirked, irresistibly. “Well, honestly, you already think you’re right all the time. You’re pushy. I can’t imagine what you would be like if you were vain too.”

“Nice,” I said sarcastically.

He pulled my hat down over my ears, as I had done to him, and kissed me softly. “We need to go,” he whispered.

“I’ll meet you there.”

“You can’t go,” he said, his voice laced with worry. “I’ll come with you.” He determinedly stepped towards the door.

“No. Go get ready. I won’t be long. Didn’t you just say I could take care of myself?”

“Not fair, Rosa. I don’t like you using my words against me,” he said with a wary smile.

“Too bad,” I said as I walked to the door. He grabbed my hand and we walked together, our hands straining as we went through the door and moved in opposite directions. Our fingers parted and he gave me one last, checking look. “Don’t be long,” he said in low growl that made me shiver.

He fell into line with the others. I waited until he was out of sight and hurried towards the big metal door by our cabin.

I sprinted, my lungs burning. I imagined someone was chasing me, that something was biting at my heels, and it made me run faster. I passed dark opening after dark opening. The rooms that had been filled with the noise of people talking, the smells of food cooking or coffee brewing, were now hollow, empty caverns, the doors swinging on their hinges from rushed exits. This place was even more tomblike than it had been before.

I got to the door and started turning the cogs, but it was extremely hard to open. I touched the metal; it was ice cold and stuck to my hand. It was frozen shut. I hoped Apella was already down there with Orlando. I shouldn’t have left him alone.