The Woodlands

“Thanks Clara,” I said, frowning.

“Oh, come now,” Clara said between fits of hysterical giggling. “I think you make quite a beautiful octopus.”

I smiled, shaking my head around, my tentacles bashing into each other. I felt like she was peeling layers off me, stripping back the roughness. Shining her faith into me, and airing out the darkest corners.

Once, Clara pulled just the front part back into two thin plaits, letting the rest of my hair fall down around my shoulders, placing tiny, white, star-shaped flowers around my crown like a wreath. When we returned, Joseph stood. He looked stu

The group mostly ate from the box but I preferred to eat what I could find in the forest. I discovered I had absorbed quite a lot of information from my time at the Classes, and I enjoyed foraging for food.

At night, the non-pregnant members of the group took turns taking watch. We always camped under trees that would be easy to climb, in case the wolves returned, but we never heard from them again. I wondered whether the choppers had scared them off. Then again, we had walked quite far. We may have managed to get out of their territory.

Clara was so slow. She said she felt good. But to me, she looked ill. That thing seemed to be dragging her lower to the ground. I was very worried about her. My foot was healing well and I didn’t need help to walk anymore, so I insisted that Joseph help her and carry her when he could. When I did stumble, Deshi was kind enough to offer a shoulder to lean on.

Deshi was a good friend to Joseph, and even though there would always be a slight unease between us, he helped me when he could. We were starting to be friends. If anything, we had a mutual interest. I don’t think he resented me; maybe he was just a little sad.

Clara seemed like she must only be days away, judging by how long we had been out here and my vague memories of them saying she was thirty-six weeks when she had her ‘scare’. I resolved to speak to Apella about Clara’s condition and what we needed to look out for. I had only a vague idea what labor would be like. It was not something my mother ever talked about, but I was sure it would be painful. And without the normal facilities, it was going to be very challenging and probably dangerous.

As we were walking, I decided to catch up with the spindly couple and talk to Apella. I had barely said two words to her since my rescue, so the surprised look on her face was expected.

“I need to talk to you about Clara,” I said directly. She nodded.

“How long do you think she’s got to go?” I asked.

“It could be today or a week from now, any day really,” she said calmly.

“Ok, so what do I need to look out for?” I wanted to know if there were any signs. I needed to prepare myself, as well as Clara.

“When her labor starts, she will have contractions. They will be painful and will last for a minute or two. They will come at even intervals. Don’t worry, Rosa. Clara and I have discussed it all. She is as prepared as she is going to be.” Apella’s pale blue eyes were avoiding my gaze, her fair eyelashes lapsing over them longer than necessary. It didn’t surprise me that Clara had spoken to Apella. She didn’t subscribe to my dislike of the woman. Clara didn’t dislike anyone.

I went to say thank you, but I couldn’t get the words out. It was like trying to rearrange my bones. It wouldn’t sit right. I stopped walking until Clara had caught up to me. She linked her arm in mine.

“Find out anything interesting?” she said with a wink. I shook my head. Apella was useless. I felt like we were alone in this. We had a doctor, but she seemed to distance herself from the very real scenario we were about to face. I don’t think she had ever asked me how I was feeling or checked on the leech. I knew if things went wrong, I would do anything to help Clara. Even if that meant holding Apella at knifepoint while she assisted.

I kept these violent thoughts to myself and walked. Monotonous trudging. Boots crunching gravel, sounding like scraping frost from the freezer. Walking, always walking.

“So you know you’re going to be an aunt soon,” Clara a

This word aunt meant very little to me. The way she spoke, sometimes, it was like she was from another world or another time, a place where families existed: aunts, uncles, and grandparents.

“How’s that?” I asked.

“We are sisters,” she said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “So when my baby is born, you will be an aunt.”

I was too touched by what she had said to make my normal sarcastic comments. Sisters. The word warmed me. Like I could hold my hands up to it and thaw my fingertips. I liked the sound of it. We were sisters and as soon as I had accepted it in my head, it was so. It was probably always the case, just without the label.

All I said was, “I suppose I will be.”

I had a sister. I smiled to myself, letting a little light in, cracks starting to show in the stone.

Blood surrounds me, life-giving and life-taking. I am swimming in it and drowning in it. No matter what I do, I can never escape it.

Unfortunately for me, Apella walked with us for the next couple of days. Clara had asked her to and I couldn’t object. She was the only one who knew anything about what was going to happen to her.

The railway had started to lead us upwards. Grey rock dominated the landscape more and more. Joseph carried Clara most of the time. So our duo became a group. They talked amongst each other a lot, for which I was grateful. I didn’t need or want to talk to either Joseph or Apella. I wanted to be close to him but I still didn’t know what to say. Apella, I could have easily thrown out in the open. Let the choppers see her. As I got bigger, surprisingly, I felt stronger. Apella was a waif, her thin frame inviting me to snap her like a twig. I daydreamed that I threw her in the path of a passing helicopter, her perfect blonde hair whipping around her face, as a long claw reached down and pulled her from our group. But Clara wanted Apella close, so I kept my hands fisted at my sides and gritted my teeth through the polite conversations.

The choppers were fewer now. The last one we saw was a day behind us and I knew it wasn’t looking for us; it was carrying a giant curve of concrete wall. It twisted and swung in the wind, a somber arc. I wondered whether it was part of something they had torn down or something they were building. My mind went to all those girls we had left behind. Had some escaped? What about all the babies? The haunting question was—what were they going to do with all those children?

Around noon, we sat down for lunch. I ventured into the forest, searching for some berries I had tested out a few days ago. They were so sour, I felt my mouth salivating at the thought of them, but they weren’t poisonous and that was good enough for me. Joseph had started following me into the woods, asking questions about the plants. This was easier. I didn’t mind sharing this information and it gave us a way to communicate without touching on the subjects I couldn’t handle. Every now and then though, he looked at me like he wanted to say something more. I was good at reading those times and quickly changed the subject, bending down and picking up a leaf or a pinecone, shoving it in his consternated face and telling him to look at it. I knew he was frustrated with me. I knew it was only a matter of time before he confronted me, but not yet. I wasn’t ready, the leech made sure of that.