Fire Country

Don’t even think those words about yourself. Don’t even joke about them. Not now. Not ever again.

My vision blurs. “Sear it, Sie. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Skye hugs me and although it hurts my broken body so bad I wa

“I do?” I say, lifting my chin.

“She’s not as weak as we thought. She was always standin’ up to Father, just not that we could see. She started talkin’ to the Wildes as soon as…well, as soon as Wilde created them. All secret-like, behind Father’s back. She had my name at the top of the recruit list. Yers, too, though they weren’t sure you’d come.”

“I couldn’t believe she killed Bart,” I say. “I think my eyes were bigger’n Granger’s white buttcheeks the day he got his pants pulled down in Learning.”

Skye laughs, which scares the scorch out of me. Death ain’t no laughing matter. Even with Bart. Then I realize she’s laughing about Granger’s buttcheeks. “Mother’s been hidin’ that knife for years,” she says, “practicin’ with it, stabbing at anythin’ she could git her hands on when Father wasn’t ’round. I once saw her hack up a tugskin pillow she was pla

“But why?” I ask.

“I asked her the same thing when I caught her doin’ it, and you know what she said?” I shake my head. “She said you never know when you need to defend yerself or the ones you love, so you’ve got to be ready. That always stuck with me.”

I look at Skye, thinking on what my mother told her, thinking on Skye’s words from earlier, about how Mother’d be proud of me. “You know, Skye,” I say, “I think Mother’d be proud of you, too.”

“Thanks,” she says.

And I know I’ve gotta tell her.

“Brev’s dead,” I say.

Skye just looks at me, gives a slight nod like she’s not surprised, and as tough as Skye seems to be now, she cries with me until we sleep.

Every tear is for Mother and Brev.

~~~

The next day I’m determined not to get down on myself, and though every part of my body urges me to stay in bed, I don’t.

Lara’s notably absent from the fights, and when some of t’other girls asks where she is, I’m glad to hear pride in my voice when I tell them she advanced a level already.

Again, I don’t win a single fight, but I do better. It even takes Char a long while to pin me. I might not have strength in my arms, but I do have strength. My strength, like Skye, is in my speed. I don’t have all the right moves, the graceful and tenacious kicks and punches that my sister has, but I can still move. Today I use it to evade my opponents’ attacks, to throw them off balance, landing a few blows here’n there. It’s not enough to defeat anyone, but at least I’m not completely pathetic.

Latching on to Brione’s motto to support even the weakest of the Wildes, t’other girls get behind me whenever I fight, cheering and shouting and urging me on. I might not win a fight, but I do win.

And although I’m sore and tired and wa

~~~

Although I love it in Wildetown, I been thinking a lot ’bout Circ. What if he was still alive? Would I still’ve come? Or would he have saved me from Bart, taken me far, far away from the Heaters and the Call and the Law? Or if I had still come to Wildetown, could he have come with me? Even Wilde admits the tribe can’t survive on its own forever. Would she ever consider adding guys to the mix? Not Calls, but guys that we actually care ’bout, wa

I’m just saying.

~~~

After a quarter full moon I’ve won twice. After a full moon I’m wi

Some of the girls in my class have cut their hair short, opting to cast away the final reminder of their old life. Others of them have been marked with swirls or artistic designs or images of their own choosing. Lara’s got a dozen markings already, and, of course, her hair was already short. She’s moved up two more levels, fighting against girls who’ve been with the Wilde Ones for nearly two years. I’m happy for her. Like me, she belongs here.

My hair is long and my skin unmarked. It’s enough for me just to be here. Following Skye’s lead, I removed all the charms from my bracelet ’cept for the ones for her, my mother, and Circ. Unlike her, I couldn’t bare to part with the bracelet itself. Every night I kiss each charm ’fore I sleep, wishing more of them were alive. Skye’s seen me do it a few times but she don’t say nothing.

A quarter full moon ago we started learning to use weapons, shooting pointers, throwing spears, fighting with blades. I’m the worst with the spear, improving with the blade, and best with the bow. Even once learning is over, I find myself staying behind, shooting pointer after pointer at the target, until I don’t miss.

I’ve got a long way to go ’fore I can fight like Skye, but at least I’m heading in the right direction. And those awful words that used to occupy every second thought? It’s as if they don’t exist anymore. I hope Circ, wherever he is, is proud of me.

I hafta blink an awful lot whenever I think ’bout Circ.

As I have been every morning for a while, when I crawl out of my tent I’m excited for another day. However, as soon as I stand I know today’ll be different. Wilde’s headed in my direction, her face a nest of worry and concern. I’ve never seen her look scared ’fore, which scares me. “What happened?” I ask, my body tensing up.

“We need to talk,” she says. No good morning…how are you?...did you sleep well? Not a good sign. “Get your sister,” she adds.

I rouse Skye and we follow Wilde to the leader tent, where Brione and Crya are already waiting. Brione’s thick lips are pursed and Crya looks like she wants to hit me, her eyes throwing perfectly aimed spears in my direction. There’s another girl there, too, small, but with dark, serious eyes that show she’s a lot tougher’n she looks. The fu

No one sits.

“Tell them what you told us,” Wilde urges the girl.

“I’m Lye,” she starts. “I’m the eyes of the Wildes. Every full moon I make a trip to the Heater village, make sure they’re not onto us, scope out which Pre-Bearers might make good additions to our group.”

I’m surprised but I don’t act it, nodding like this is all very expected information. Was it Lye who chose me to join? Or did Skye and my mother have a say in it? But more importantly, why are they telling me this? I’m nobody.

Lye continues. “Just before the last call, I made my trip to the village to make sure all the escapes went off without any problems. I saw you leave the night of the Call.” I raise my eyebrows. She actually watched me run off into the desert. “You got away okay. A few Hunters went after you, tracking your footprints, but then the rains made it impossible to stay on your trail.” Everything makes sense so far.