Flat-Out Love

“It’s beautiful,” she said.

Matt startled and wavered dangerously on the step stool. “God, Julie. You scared me to death!”

She laughed. “I’m sorry. I just got a message from Fi

Matt lit the last candle and stepped down. “Don’t blame me if the house catches fire. This is all Fi

Julie nodded, swallowing hard, as she slowly spun around. “It does make me happy.” She stopped and turned to Matt. “You did all this for me? I mean, Fi

Matt stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at the ceiling of lights. “He sent me a list of instructions and included detailed threats of bodily harm if I didn’t follow his demands to the letter. I think I got it all.” Matt moved to the coffee table where his laptop sat idling. He glanced at the screen and shut the lid. “Yes, OK. Now we’re supposed to lie under the tree. That does not sound traditional, but he said you would understand?” Matt looked doubtfully at her.

“I do understand. Come on!” She grabbed Matt’s hand and pulled him down to the floor with her. “I do this every year. You’ll like it.”

“Fi

“You have to go slow, silly. Don’t fling yourself into the tree. Ease your way underneath. There. See?”

Julie looked up through the branches to see the shadows and highlights that the candlelight created. In this small, private space, things were quiet and safe. The same way Fi

“Actually, this is sort of… nice,” Matt said.

She turned to him. “I’ve never done this with anyone before. It’s always just me.”

“Oh. I thought I was supposed to stay here and do whatever it is we’re supposed to do under the tree. Do you want me to go?”

“No, stay!” She grabbed his arm again. “I like the company.”

Matt looked at her with amusement. “OK. So what do we do?”

“We think about profound things.”

“Ah. Philosophical ponderings and questions? I’ll go first. Prove to me that you are not a figment of my imagination.”

“Very fu

“Am I in a computer simulation? Does the door swing both ways? How can something come from nothing? How do you know a line is straight?’

“Matt, stop it!” Julie laughed.

“If animals wanted to be eaten, would it be OK? If time stopped then started again, would we even know about it? What happens when you get scared half to death twice? What is creationism? What is ethical?”

“What is driving me crazy?” Julie asked, still giggling.

“No, who is driving you crazy?” Matt corrected her, smiling. “But fine. If you don’t like my line of deep thinking, then you lead the way.”

Julie paused. “Now it all seems silly and juvenile.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“It’s just… Well, every year I lie under the tree, and… I don’t know. Assess my life. Get into a sort of dream state and see where my thoughts lead me.”

Matt crossed his long legs and rested his hands on his stomach. “I understand what you mean. Why don’t you close your eyes?”

“You close your eyes, too.”

“OK.”

Julie looked at Matt and waited. “You go first.”

“No, you go first.”

“We’ll do it at the same time. I don’t want to lie here with you watching me. Ready? Three, two, one, go.” Julie shut her eyes. “Now we wait and see what comes to us.”

Even with her eyes shut, the light from the candles flickered in her vision, bringing blurry, hazy images into her thoughts. She couldn’t believe Fi

She’d move out of the house at some point, obviously. Maybe get her own apartment? Maybe Fi

And then that nagging question hit Julie again: What had happened to Celeste to cause her to withdraw from the real world?

Julie turned her head to the side and opened her eyes. Matt was looking at her. “I told you not to watch me,” she whispered.

“I couldn’t help it,” he whispered back.

He was quiet for a moment, and she wondered what he’d been thinking about. He was probably breaking down a boring math theory. That is not what he was supposed to be doing now.

“Julie?”

“Yeah, Matt?”

He waited for a moment. “It’s like we’re free—”

“Oh my God!” Julie said, cutting him off. “I totally forgot to ask you.”

“Um… Ask me what?”

“My friend Dana wants you to call her.”

“That’s not asking me anything.”

“Stop correcting me. She wants to go out with you, you dork!”

“Oh.” Matt groaned and turned his head away. “I don’t know about that.”

“Matty, come on. You never go out!” Julie pleaded. “She’s really cool. You’d like Dana.”

“I’ll think about it. How’s that?” he offered.

“Have you ever had a girlfriend?”

Matt shot her a dirty look. “Of course I’ve had a girlfriend. What kind of question is that?”

Julie shrugged. “I don’t know. You never mention anyone.”

“I will admit that the romantic area of my life has been slow recently. I simply don’t have time to go out with anyone right now. You know what my schedule is like with school and with Celeste.”

“So you haven’t dated since… you know? Celeste. The Flat Fi

“Not much. I had a pretty serious girlfriend, but then…” Matt faltered. He was serious now, his face tense and uncomfortable. “Things changed around here.”

“With Celeste?”

Matt nodded.

Julie thought about her talk with Professor Cooley. “When something happened?”

Matt nodded again.

“I’m sorry,” Julie said. “Because whatever it is, I can tell that you’re dealing with it, too. Maybe someday you’ll want to tell me about it.”

 “Maybe someday,” Matt agreed. “And my girlfriend at the time wasn’t interested in staying together. Not everyone can tolerate my life. This house.”

“I love Celeste, but she’s hurting you, isn’t she?”

“Don’t say that. I would sell my soul for my sister.”

“I know you would.” Julie knew she had to be careful here, or Matt would shut down again.  “But you must be angry with Fi

“I am angry at Fi

“He has a right to his life, Matt.”

“Believe me, I know he does.”

“Do you two usually get along?”

“We used to. And then… we didn’t. Mostly because of the issues with my mother, he was always the hero. That wasn’t easy for me, I guess.”

“Celeste thinks you’re a hero. Don’t you see how she looks at you? She adores you.”

“Not the way she adores Fi