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“Julie! Julie!” Celeste’s voice carried from the second floor down to the kitchen.
Julie calmly took another bite of cereal and set her phone on the table. She was exhausted, having stayed up until nearly three in the morning IMing with Fi
“Julie!” Celeste stomped down the stairs, and Julie tried not to flinch as she heard her enter the room.
“Yes? What is it?” She kept her eyes on the newsprint.
“I do not find this amusing.”
“You don’t find what amusing? The fact that you avoid using contractions when you get worked up?”
“Julie, I would like you to take this seriously. I have concerns about your flippant tone. Your behavior is u
Julie finally looked up. Celeste stood beside Flat Fi
“You’ve affixed this unfu
“He thinks it’s fu
“He is not a cartoon, and we find it disrespectful.”
“He doesn’t find it disrespectful.”
“How do you know what Flat Fi
“I spend quite a bit of time with him, in case you hadn’t noticed. I can sense these things.”
Celeste frowned and examined the bubble-style note written on bright yellow paper that was stuck by Flat Fi
“He’s rather stiff, don’t you think? I suspect Flat Fi
“There is that flippant tone again,” Celeste said. “Although you might have a point. However, you could have conveyed your enthusiasm for this idea with the use of only one exclamation point. Three is overkill. What would this flexibility transformation involve?”
As Julie outlined the idea, Celeste stared back, expressionless.
“I will consider this option and get back to you.” Celeste proudly raised Flat Fi
“Take your time,” Julie murmured. “There’s only a lifetime of good mental health at stake here.”
**********
Julie pushed out the blade from the utility knife and repositioned Flat Fi
“Flat Fi
“Flat Fi
“You are going to cut him into two pieces,” Celeste said in a severely accusing tone. “That is a rather monumental injury.”
“It’s not an injury. It’s a modification. I agree that it’ll be pretty creepy for a few moments. He will indeed be in two pieces. But I swear to God that I’m going to put him back together.” Julie held up the hardware that she’d bought the day before. “See these hinges? They’ll hold him together, just like we talked about. Then he can bend at the waist. He can even fold in half, which is a damn good party trick if you ask me.”
“Flat Fi
“He might after this.” Julie pushed the metal ruler against the cardboard and checked the cutting line again. She poised the blade at the edge of the cutout. “You ready?”
Celeste moved away from Julie. “I think that I will stay on this side of the room and turn my back to you.”
“Fine,” Julie agreed. “Why don’t you talk to him while I work.”
“Talk to him about what exactly?”
“Reassure him. Tell him everything will be peachy. That he’ll be happier in the long run. Stuff like that. OK, here I go.” Julie pressed the knife into Flat Fi
“This is a great day to increase limberness!” Celeste yelled unconvincingly. “Think of all of the things you will be able to achieve, Flat Fi
“He’s doing great. Keep going,” Julie encouraged.
“Um… It was stupid Julie’s idea, and so you will hold her responsible if this surgery ends in tragedy!”
“Very fu
“You did it? He has been divided?” Celeste’s voice trembled. “Hurry. Julie, hurry. Please!”
“I am. Don’t look.” She grabbed the screwdriver and a set of hinges. “Your boy here needs to know that you support this step, Celeste.”
“OK, OK… Flat Fi
Julie could hear Celeste pacing at the other end of the room. “With a little more conviction, please.”
“I support this modification!”
“You will be his pillar of strength!” Julie prompted.
“That is a vile cliché, and I will not say that.”
“Then come up with your own phrases,” Julie said as she continued screwing in the silver hinges.
“This is difficult. I ca
“Oh, Flat Fi
“Julie, hurry up. You have to hurry up.”
“Almost done, kiddo. Just one more minute, and… Ta da!” Julie rolled back on her knees and examined her work. Not bad for someone who could barely identify most tools. “Want to see him?” She lifted Flat Fi
Celeste turned around and eyed Flat Fi
“Yay! You have some contractions back and an added concern for fashion.”
“Do I really do that? The thing with the contractions? No one has ever mentioned that.”
“You do. It’s sort of cute sometimes. You sound like Matt. But you might want to ease up on it. It’d make you sound more relaxed and casual. Comfortable.”
“I will try to pay more attention to my speech. I mean, I’ll try.”
Julie bent Flat Fi
“He is not a cheapskate.” Celeste cracked a smile. “He is conservative. Thoughtful.”
“Yeah? Christmas is coming up. I expect big things.” Julie brushed a smudge off his arm. “If this hinge deal works out, maybe we can add more later? At the arms, legs, neck?”
Celeste examined the spot that Julie had wiped off. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”