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As if in a daze, I watched his lips lower to mine. They touched softly, the gentle pressure of his mouth coaxing mine open. A moment later — much too soon — he stood straight again, our lips separating. Was that desire I saw in his eyes? Was it possible he wanted me as much as I wanted him right then?
He smiled and touched my cheek. “Have a nice bath.” Then he was gone.
After melting in the steamy water and bubbles, I was too tired to drive so Hayden took me home. He saw me safely inside then parked his car around the corner where it would be less likely seen in case my parents decided to make an appearance.
The babysitter left and I settled Hayden in my room to sleep while I went off to snuggle with Bree on her tiny bed. I hadn’t seen her since dropping her off at school that morning. I hated working nights. When Bree and I moved out, it would only get worse since I’d be working longer hours to handle expenses. It would be worth it though. She was worth it.
* * * *
Today would be different — no meeting with Fawn or Mr. Linton, no shift at Delia’s later. Hayden and I could get in a lesson at his house right after school before Chait arrived. But if we stayed at Hayden’s, I’d miss my chance to see Bree before she fell asleep. Mornings weren’t enough.
At lunch, I invited Hayden to sit at our table. Bryce was there with a few of my other dorky friends — yet he still joined us, taking a spot right next to me.
“Hey, why don’t we have Chait come to my house?” I whispered when the others got involved in conversation. “That way, I can spend some time with Bree.”
Hayden mulled it over a moment. “We might need the extra space at my house. We’ll bring Bree with us. She can eat and sleep there as easily as anywhere. Meet with Chait later, get in a lesson and hang out with Bree in between. That way it won’t really matter what time Chait comes over.”
“Yeah.” I gnawed my bottom lip. “It makes more sense, I suppose.”
“We can carry Bree to the car when we’re ready and sleep at your house.” Hayden glanced at our tablemates, his voice remaining low. “So… that party I told you about this Saturday, did you want to go?”
I gave a half laugh. “Not really.”
“Do you want to do something else? It’s still four days away, but I thought you might be one of those compulsive pla
I stared down at my plate. “I don’t know. I’ve been out a lot. I’ll probably want to stay home with Bree.”
“So stay with her. Once she goes to bed, the babysitter can watch her for an hour or two while she sleeps.”
My eyes sca
He covered my hand with his and gazed at me. “I don’t want to meet other girls.”
My stomach flipped and churned. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Nadia and Cori
I looked down and squeezed my eyes shut while powering up to give Hayden the rest of my speech. Letting him kiss me for twenty-four hours straight would’ve been my first choice. But he’d never stick around, not if it required that he become a responsible adult.
Why put off the inevitable?
After a deep breath, I made eye contact with him again. “I like you. But you won’t always be there for me. So why start something we can’t finish?”
“Who says we won’t finish it?” He reached for my hand again.
Maybe Hayden meant that sincerely now, but who knew if his feelings would last? I snaked my hand away. “The last thing I want is to walk away feeling like I made a huge mistake. So let’s not make the mistake, okay? Go to Skyler’s party and be with other girls.” I almost choked on the last two words. “I have a lot going on right now. You need to concentrate on you. Don’t forget you’re about to be discovered.”
“Fine.” He returned his attention to his lunch and didn’t say another word until we sat in the library later to tackle his lessons.
Chapter Twenty-two
Hayden
Maybe I’d been going about it all wrong. I assumed that like with any other girl, once I got a taste, it would be enough. But each time I kissed Tessa, I wanted her more. I only had peace when we studied in the library and all my focus went into whatever she was teaching me.
When did I become so anxious to be smarter?
Damn Tessa. I’d been fine before her. I had plenty of girls, more friends than I needed and endless parties where I could lose myself. Life had been perfect.
No, it hadn’t been. I’d been coasting through each day, getting away with whatever I could and had stood by while others got hurt. Not a very nice person. No wonder Tessa kept shrinking from me. Amazing she didn’t bolt.
I didn’t care for Ms. Phillips or Mr. Linton, but they had been right about one thing. It was up to me to create my future. Tessa was right too. My life wasn’t anyone’s responsibility except mine. And if Tessa didn’t want to be with me, it was my own fault. These truths were almost too much to swallow, but I forced them down.
From now on, I’d leave Tessa alone. Well, not totally alone. We still needed to work together. But I’d do my best not to put her in a position that forced her to kiss me or reject me. She deserved better.
Someone like Chait.
My gut knotted, thinking about them together. But as ill as the thought made me, I knew he was the better man. If they ever got together, I’d get through it. If I could overcome the years of beatings, I could get through anything life threw at me. Eventually.
After di
“Uhm…” Tessa fiddled with a sports magazine on my coffee table. “You’re learning quickly. You might want to do yourself a favor and avoid your step-dad.”
I groaned. If I had to see what went on inside his twisted mind, I might have to kill him.
“Or you need to get very good at blocking.” She sighed. “It’s not easy. I mean, it’s easy to block other sorcerers from seeing into your head, but it’s harder to stop the normal people’s visuals from coming in.”
But if I got the right information from Sam that way, could I use it to make him behave? “Hey, what happened with Brad?”
She laughed, the lilt in her voice musical. “I said something to make him think of the thing he found most humiliating. When I saw the image, I dropped some of the details and told him that if he ever picked on anyone again, he could depend on everything going public.”
“Clever.” I gri
Chait arrived and I opened the door, glancing at Tessa.
She smiled. “Hey, Chait.”
“Hi.” Chait gri
Yep, I didn’t like the way he looked at her. Not at all.
Chait froze and stared at me.
He knew.
Tessa was right. Once you worked your magic, you opened up and everyone sensed it.
“This is a surprise.” He turned to Tessa, brows drawn together. “Is that why you asked me over?”
“Yeah. We’d like to keep it quiet as long as possible.” Tessa flipped her hair as she glanced at Bree and returned her attention to Chait. “We’re hoping you’ll help us.”
“Both of you? Or just you.” He gri
“Both,” she replied.
“What do you need from me?” he asked.
“Sorcerers have certain physical abilities. We want you to coach us. That and share anything else we need to know.” She nodded toward the dining room. “Would you like to sit?”