Such a Rush

“I wanted you to feel some G’s!” he said into the mike. “Now, step one. Survey the area for tractors, combines, cows. We don’t want to hit anything when we’re down near the ground. Cows will fuck you up. Take a look.”

I was surprised he wanted to give me this demonstration so close to the airport. Other planes would be taking off and landing. But this was what I’d wanted, right? To feel a rush? I sat straighter in my seat and craned my neck to see past the lower wings. Rows of cotton flashed beneath us fast as strobe lights, unbroken all the way to the forest. “I don’t see anything,” I said.

“Step two,” he said, “dive dive dive!”

My stomach stayed at five hundred feet as we plummeted toward the ground. I gripped the sides of my seat and was very glad he couldn’t see me in the seat directly behind him. I realized now that he’d asked me to look for obstacles just so I would be scared when I saw the ground rushing to meet us.

“The switch to release the chemicals will be here,” he said, pointing to the instrument panel with one hand. I wished he would keep both hands on the stick, at least while we were plummeting. “You’d flick it right about here, then pull up.”

At the very last second before we tu

“Mark.” My voice sounded shaky in the mike.

He chuckled. “Yes, Leah.”

“Do I need to get this low,” I asked, “or is it just you?”

He laughed more loudly. Maybe it was the effect of the headphones, but he sounded a touch insane. “It’s not just me. You’ve got to stay near the crops so the chemicals don’t drift. It’s weird but when you spray herbicide on people, they call my uncle’s office to complain. And now you’re probably thinking I need to pull up again before I hit those trees.”

I was, in fact, thinking this as the dark forest rushed toward us.

“This takes practice, Leah. We’re going to die now, right? That was the last second we could have saved ourselves and we missed it, right? Count to three.”

“Onetwothree!” I shouted.

“You counted too fast.”

I kept my eyes open as the forest loomed. I didn’t want to die with my eyes shut.

“And now we pull up.”

I was in the midst of a reflex to cover my face with my arms to protect myself from the impact when he nosed the plane up, tracing the outline of an oak tree.

The plane soared in a circle over the forest. Broken pieces of his cackle came through the headphones as his voice triggered the mike to switch on and off. After he’d collected himself, he asked, “Sick yet?”

“Yes,” I said. “Mark, I’ve changed my mind. I’m really sorry but I don’t want a relationship with you. I just wanted to fly. And if I can’t have one without the other, please take me back and put me down.”

Static sounded in my headphones, then silence. Static, silence. He was breathing hard.

“Mark.”

“What did you say?” he asked, voice dripping sarcasm. “That you’re ready to go again? I heard you the first time.” He dropped the plane to zoom way too close along the highest branches of the trees.

I felt faint. All the warnings I’d heard about Mark over the past week rushed to my mind. That he was crazy. Dangerous. Used his plane as a weapon. Shouldn’t be trusted to fly with passengers. Had fallen in love with me and didn’t want to let me go.

“Mark, please,” I said, pilot voice cracking.

“I said we’d go again, Leah.” His words were so loud that I reached up to pull my headphones away and save my hearing. “Let me straighten her out and then—”

I was glad I didn’t get the headphones off. The next second, the front of the plane exploded, the noise earsplitting even through the headphones. I ducked under the debris coming at me: the top of a tree, part of the propeller. I heard it crash across the tail behind me.

We’d cleared the trees now, but the terrifying noise hadn’t stopped, only changed. With part of the propeller gone, the huge, heavy engine knocked around up front, threatening to tear the plane apart.

“Mark!”

He said nothing.

The plane was sinking fast.

“Mark!” I shouted. “My airplane!” Fists shaking, I pulled back on the stick, gaining as much height as possible so I’d have farther to fall. That way I’d have more choice about where I crash-landed.

I couldn’t move much because I didn’t dare take my hands off the controls, and I was unprotected in the open air. But I leaned as far forward and to one side as I could, twisting to look at what had happened to Mark. He was slumped over in the front seat—too far over. On the front instrument panel was a bright smear of blood.

I was on my own.

nineteen

“Mayday mayday mayday.” I a

The engine vibrated dangerously. The controls were sluggish and the plane was hard to steer. I pointed the nose for the airport and hoped I would make it. All the while I was looking around for places to land—a field until we passed it, a straight stretch of two-lane road until we passed that. Puffy white clouds gathered over the ocean, a stereotypical heaven scene from a movie.

“Leah,” Grayson said over the radio. He recited the number of the cha

I switched to that cha

“What are you doing?” We were both using the Chuck Yeager voice like his dad had taught us, but even through the radio, I could hear he was breathless.

“Mark hit a tree. He’s out cold. Controls are mushy. Part of the prop is gone and I’m about to shut the engine down. Call 911.”

The plane dipped suddenly before dashing up again. I fought the controls to steady it. Static sounded in my ears. I realized it was my own gasp, which had triggered the voice-activated radio as if I’d said something.

I turned the engine off so at least the controls would work better and I could fly the plane like a glider. The propeller came to an ominous stop. The silence in my trailer had never been as awful.

“Make a pass and let us see the damage before you try to land,” Grayson said.

“Negative,” I said. “I can’t stay up that long.”

“Then skip the airport and go for the ocean.”

“Negative. Mark will drown before they get to him.” I couldn’t swim, either, but if I survived the crash, I could probably cling to a piece of the airplane until the Coast Guard rescued me. Mark would be lost.

“That fucking—” Grayson’s voice cut off suddenly as he remembered we were on a public frequency.

I knew what he meant. This was Mark’s fault. But it was my responsibility now. I reminded Grayson, “What matters most is other people, then me, then the airplane, then the ba

I heard static in my headphones again as I breathed a sigh of relief. The runway had come into view, and the long row of hangars. Flying closer, I could see that people lined the tarmac—not as many as had watched the Chinook, because it was still so early in the morning, but I was the show of the day. In front of the Hall Aviation hangar, Molly folded her arms like she was cold. Alec’s hand was on Grayson’s back. Both Grayson’s hands were on his cowboy hat. I couldn’t see them well at that distance, but I knew them from what they wore and the way they stood.

Grayson put one hand to his mouth and spoke into Mr. Hall’s radio. “Leah, you’re missing your left gear.”

“Roger.” Looking over the side of the cockpit, I saw the left front wheel of the tricycle underneath the plane had been sheared off. That meant when I landed, the left side of the airplane would have nothing to touch down underneath it.