Betwixt

How does she know all this stuff? I've never even introduced her to Trent?

Dad clears his throat. "Trudy, she's stayed out all night before."

"But not on a school night. I can't shake the feeling that something's not right."

"Have you called her?"

"It just goes straight to voicemail. There's no point leaving a message, she'd never call me back anyway."

"I'm sure she'll check in eventually. I don't think we should worry yet."

"But what if she finally did it?"

Did what?

"I don't..." Dad sighs. "I don't want to think that way."

Mom's eyes fill with tears.

"Mom?" I reach out to touch her, but know I can't. "What do you think I did?"

"Let's explore all the options first, okay? I'll give the school a call."

"I already have."

"And?"

"They don't think she's come in."

"Well, maybe it's worth actually going down there. One of her friends will definitely be able to tell us something. If she's run away, one of them will know."

"Run away? Wait a sec, you think I've run away? I haven't!" I wave my hand in front of Mom's face, but I'm nothing more than air. "Mom, I haven't run away. I need you guys to find me."

"Yeah." Mom sighs as she pulls out the jug and pours fresh coffee into her thermos mug. "I'll try and get over there sometime today."

"Try not to worry. She'll turn up."

"Yeah, I just-" Mom's phone beeps. "Dammit. That's Jackie again. I better go."

"I'll see you at di

"Yeah okay. Bye." She holds her breath before taking it off speaker and pasting on a smile.

"Jac-kie." Her voice is bright and breezy as she grabs her mug and walks out of the kitchen back towards her car.

I follow her with swift steps and make it out the door before she closes it on me. As soon as she opens the driver's door, I scramble inside. "Mom, I wish you could hear me. What can I do to make you hear me?"

I try whacking the dashboard and beeping the horn, but it's pointless. I'm made of freaking air. Besides, she's so immersed in her call with Jackie, she probably wouldn't even notice if I was actually here.

I slump into my seat with a curse.

The phone call lasts until just past Big Bear Village. Mom continues cruising towards the school, her fingers drumming... her mind a million miles away.

"Are you thinking about me? Wondering what I'm up to? You should go to the school. Don't wait, go there now."

I can see the turn off to school just up ahead. Mom slows the car and looks down Maple Lane.

"That's it. Turn right. You can do it."

Her phone starts ringing again. She looks at the screen and sighs before answering with that plastic sunshine of hers.

"Hello, Gordan... Uh-huh. Sure I'm free right now. I can meet you in ten minutes." Mom flicks on the wrong indicator and goes to do a U-turn.

"No! School! Find out where I was last night!"

She brakes to let a couple of cars pass and I make a hasty decision.

"Fine. If you're not go

I try to jump out the open window, but end up falling through the car door. I probably look like a total dork as I jump away from the car and hit the curb. I land in a heap as she pulls away from me.

I slowly brush myself off, collect my bag, which seems to appear with me in spite of the fact I'm not really here, and turn towards school. I shouldn't expect Mom or Dad to be able to hear me... we're hardly close. Depression takes a seat on my shoulder and reminds me I'm not really close to anybody... ergo, no one will ever be able to hear me.

I try shaking it off as I put one foot in front of the other. The least I can do is find out what happened to me last night. I don't want to die completely clueless.

I don't actually want to die at all... I think.

CHAPTER FIVE

I run to school and rush towards the dance studio. The door is closed.

Perfect! How the hell am I supposed to get in?!

I think about falling through the car door and shudder. No, I won't do it.

So, what else am I supposed to do?

Before I can figure that out, the door bursts open and I'm engulfed by a gaggle of girls making their way to... free period. We always have free period after dance on a Wednesday.

I try to avoid the rush, but can't help a few people walking through me. I try to convince myself that I feel them brushing through my arms and shoulders, but I am like a cloud of smoke. A couple of the girls shiver like Trent did. Maybe people can feel me.

I grab for Amber's arm as she walks past, but get no reaction. My fingers swipe straight through her flesh as her arm swings away from me. She's giggling at Lauren's references to her oblivious make out session at study group.

"I couldn't help it. He's hot."

"He's not that hot." Lauren shakes her head. "You were too drunk to notice."

"I was not!"

"You were a little drunk," Pe

"Okay, fine, but that doesn't change the fact he's a good kisser."

"So you go

"Maybe." Amber puts her nose in the air. "Or maybe it was just a study group fling."

Lauren giggles and threads her arm through Amber's.

"Better make sure Nicole keeps her hooks out of him then."

What did she just say?

"Uch! Did you see her prancing around last night in that million dollar shirt?"

A memory floods my brain as the girls walk away from me. I struggle to keep up as the images play out in my mind.

I flounced out of the house, having spent at least an hour making sure I looked perfect. I opened the passenger door with a grin and slid inside.

"Check out the new attire." Amber pointed at my shirt.

"You like?"

"Me love!" She touched the soft leather and ran her finger over the fine lace trim. I was sure her skin turned a little green before she cleared her throat and pulled onto the road. "Where'd you get it?"

I forced a casual tone.

"It's a Marc Jacobs. I bought it online."

"No freaking way! How do you afford this stuff? I can barely convince my mother that a $200 pair of shoes is reasonable."

I grabbed out my Dad's credit card and looked at her with a sly grin.

"You want one too?"

She glanced my way then started laughing.

"You are such a bad ass."

"She's such a little thief." Amber flicks back her hair as they ascend the stairs, heading for the library.

Well, she's certainly changed her tune.

I try not to let it bug me, but I can't help crossing my arms and frowning.

"O.M.G. you guys, check this out." Pe

Everyone gives her a blank stare.

"You know, the slightly chubby one who works in the office sometimes." Pe