Intermix Nation

“Not only are you rude, Nazirah Nation,” themonkey replies, “you are also late. I have been expecting you forquite some time. Please follow me.”

Surprised, Nazirah follows him into an emptychamber. The monkey closes the door softly, gestures for Nazirah totake a seat. She shrugs off her coat as he sits across from her.“I’m sorry,” she says, embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to be rude … orlate.”

The monkey smiles kindly. “It’s quite allright,” he says. “A sincere apology goes a long way.”

“How did you know who I was?”

“Only a blind man would not recognize yourface, Nazirah,” he responds. “Luckily for you, but unluckily forthe rest of us, the world is full of the blind. Especially amongthose blessed with the gift of sight.”

“But how did you know I would come here?”she persists.

“Because I am not blind,” he sayssimply.

“Oh.”

“I heard what you called me before.”

Nazirah’s eyes grow wide. “I didn’t … Iwasn’t.…”

The monkey holds up a gloved hand. “I amteasing you,” he chuckles, touching a large, wrinkled ear. “It ismy defining characteristic. There are twenty-six monks in Shizar,always. You saw one of my brothers, Monk Ji, yesterday. When Ifirst joined the order, I was christened Monk Yi. I quite like mymore commonly used nickname, though. Monkeys are intelligent,curious and friendly … all things I strive to be.”

“Is that what your family calls you?”

“They’ve all passed,” he repliesthoughtfully. “I had a name once. But that too has eroded from mymind like water on stone.”

“You don’t remember?” she asks,astonished.

“It was a very long time ago.”

“How long could it possibly be?”

He only smiles. “Enough of my misfortunes,”he says. “You did not come here for that.”

“I don’t know why I’ve come here, to behonest.”

“No idea at all?”

“Confusion, I guess,” Nazirah says. “AboutMorgen. I want some answers.”

“An answer begins with a question.”

Nazirah struggles for the words. “Lately,”she says, “I’ve felt … better … when he’s around.”

“And?”

She sighs. “And … happier.”

“And?”

“And … human.”

“That is still not a question.”

“What kind of a person,” she asks earnestly,“does that make me?”

“A very good person, I would imagine.”

“I don’t feel very good,” she says. “I feellike a selfish, scared coward most of the time.”

“But not all of the time?”

“I guess not.”

“You wear your grief like armor,” the monkeysays. “It is sad to see, especially in one so young.”

“Your student caused my grief.”

“But you are the one letting it fester.”

“Do you take no responsibility?” shedemands. “He learned everything from you!”

The monkey stares solemnly at his glovedhands. “Not everything,” he says quietly. “I do blame myself,Nazirah, more than you realize. I blame myself for not being abetter teacher, like my own master was to me. But I do not regrettraining him. We all stray from the path. How we find it again …that is what truly defines a person.”

“Have I strayed?”

“Would you be here otherwise?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be silent orsomething?” she huffs in a

“There are many types of zimbaba,” themonkey says, laughing, “just like there are many types of people.You have a rebellious spirit. I can see why he likes you.”

“He has a fu

“I’m sure he does,” the monkey says. “Butyou would not have been here yesterday, if he did not.”

“Why is he so reckless?”

“Nazirah,” he says seriously, “do not ask aquestion, if you do not want to know the answer.” Nazirah looks athim oddly. “Ask me something you really want to know.”

“How do I forgive him?” she whispers.

The monkey is quiet for a long time. “Beforewe agree to train a student,” he says, “the brotherhood gives aseries of tests. I do not typically offer them to a civilian, but Ifeel you may benefit from one.”

“What kind of test?” Nazirah asks warily,worried he might try and dangle her over the ravine orsomething.

“One of the hardest order,” he answers. “Atest of forgiveness.”

She thinks it over before responding.“Okay,” she agrees eventually.

The monkey nods, stripping off his gloves.Nazirah ca

The monkey grasps her hands, chanting in anarchaic, babbling tongue. The edges around him blur. The roomtwists, disappears. His song booms, warps, and then fades awayentirely. The monkey’s grip tightens and loosens, becomingeffervescent. And then he isn’t there at all.

Loud ringing destroys her ears. Nazirahwinces, squeezing her eyes shut. As soon as she does, the ringingstops, followed only by dampened silence. When she opens themagain, Nazirah finds she isn’t in the monastery anymore. She isn’teven in Zima.

She is home.

#

Riva and Kasimir relax on the couch. Theyca

Riva leans into Kasimir’s chest, lying inhis strong arms. He rubs her shoulders, trying to alleviate hertension. She tenderly plays with the scruff of his beard. “What arewe going to do with her, Kas?” Riva sighs. “It’s the second timethis week she’s snuck off. Who knows what she’s up to rightnow?”

“She’s finding herself, Riva,” Kasimirreplies. “She’ll come around. She just needs some time.”

“You can’t keep making excuses for her!”Riva snaps. “She’s not a child! She’s hurting herself!”

“No, she’s not a child,” he agrees. “And wecan’t continue to baby her. Her choices are her own. But we willtalk to her again … when she gets home.”

“If only she were more like Nikolaus.”

Nazirah stands before them, tears streamingdown her face. She wants desperately to stroke her mother’s cheek,to embrace her father. But she remains stuck. There’s a mufflednoise at the door. Kasimir and Riva share a relieved look, happyNazirah has returned safely. But it’s not Nazirah.

Nazirah ca

If only, if only.

The door swings open, revealing Adamek. He’swearing his gloves and is dressed entirely in black, gun in hand.But it’s not the Adamek she recognizes. It’s Adamek Morgen, the manof her nightmares, with the cruel and sinister eyes. Kasimir risesquickly, shielding Riva. Riva screams and Nazirah screamssoundlessly along with her. Adamek raises the gun, fires twice.

End of story.

#

Nazirah’s entire body convulses, seizing up.She grips the monkey tightly for support. Hunching over, shecoughs, struggling to breathe. “What the fuck was that?” she gasps,wrenching her hands away.

“Many fail the first time,” the monkey sayskindly. “The path to forgiveness is not easy to walk.”

“Was that how it really happened?”

“We have many skills, Nazirah,” the monkeyreplies. “Omniscience is not one of them. You saw only what yourmind believes happened. Your fear makes it real.”

“You tricked me!” she cries, grabbing thefront of his robe. “You never said I would have to watch my parentsget killed! That didn’t help me forgive him at all!”

“The path to forgiveness is not easy towalk,” the monkey repeats. “But in order to truly forgive another,you must first forgive yourself.”

With that one sentence, the monkey stripsNazirah bare, peering deep into her soul and revealing what truthlies there. He uncovers the consuming guilt that taints her everyemotion, twists her every desire. Nazirah collapses before him,falling heavily to her knees, the weight unbearable. “Oh, God!” shecries.