Intermix Nation

Nazirah smiles a little, placing the bottlebehind her. “No, we can’t have that.”

She inspects his arm closely. The stitchesare even and tight, like Adamek has done this countless timesbefore. Nazirah also notices his long white scar from the Khan,healed bullet wound on his shoulder, and several other marksblemishing his inked skin. She wants a reason to touch them, thesebeautiful flaws of his.

“It’s an unlucky arm,” he says quietly.

Nazirah leans forward, blowing on thestitches lightly. Adamek doesn’t breathe. She looks up, biting herlower lip. “For luck,” she says.

“Thank you.”

Nazirah nods. She pulls back, adding spacebetween them. Adamek removes a roll of gauze from the bag andbandages his arm. Nazirah doesn’t look him in the eyes anymore. Herthoughts are cloudy, muddled, and disturbing.

Finished, Adamek stuffs the remaining gauzeback into the bag and sets it behind him on the floor. As he turnshis body, Nazirah finally sees the dusza in person. Instinctively,she reaches a slender hand out, tracing the dark characters downhis back and up again. Adamek inhales sharply when her hand makescontact, but she is too engrossed to notice. “It’s so beautiful,”she says.

“It’s anything but.”

Quick as a flash – or maybe her reflexes arejust slow – Adamek turns around. Her palm is flush with his chest,gossamer touch. Nazirah tries to pull away. He traps her hand underhis, holding it there.

“Let me go,” she says.

Adamek’s eyes drift over Nazirah’s smallframe, taking in her ripped dress, bruised neck, and finallysettling on their hands. “Right in the heart, Nation,” he says.Nazirah can feel it, steadily beating into her palm.

Water splashes her thigh. Nazirah pulls herhand away, turning her head towards the source. The bathtub hasfilled to the brim, spilling over the sides, flooding the room. “Imust have accidentally slid the nozzle before,” she says, quicklyturning off the tap. She laughs brightly. Maybe it’s the alcohol,maybe it’s the circumstances, maybe it’s neither … but she suddenlyfeels inexplicably light, borderline insane. She looks at Adamek,playful spark.

“What?”

Nazirah doesn’t answer him. Entirelyclothed, she drags herself over the edge of the tub. She sinks downinto the steaming water, sending even more waves crashing onto thefloor. Lace flows and floats and pools, rivers of scarlet freedom.Nazirah tips her head back, immersing her hair, washing away thenight. Stretching her arms, gasping, she holds her hands to herhead. She laughs loudly, uncontrollably, convulsing, crackingup.

She is completely cracking up.

She can’t hold it in anymore, none of it.

Life will out.

“Congratulations Nation, you’ve officiallylost it.”

Nazirah sees through the sarcasm. There’sthat familiar, odd longing in his eyes again. She knows heunderstands. Giggling, Nazirah sends another wall of water his way.Adamek raises his leg, narrowly avoiding it. “Come on, Morgen,” sheteases. “Don’t you ever want to just be a teenager?”

He is quiet then, pensive. Nazirah doesn’trealize she has been hoping for it until after he sinks downopposite her. Adamek completely submerges himself, a moment toolong. He surfaces, shaking his hair out, eyes sparklingmischievously.

She ca

It’s as though months and months of pent uplaughter have finally bubbled over. Nazirah laughs so hard shecries. And it’s infectious. Because the two of them, here, isabsolutely the weirdest, most incredible thing.

Transcendent.

Adamek rests against the tub, inhalingdeeply. He asks, “Moment of temporary insanity?”

Nazirah shakes her head, water dropletsflying. “Clarity!”

“Temporary clarity?”

“Most definitely.”

“You’re a strange one, Nation.”

“You like it.”

He snorts. “I am never letting you drinkagain, ever.”

Nazirah bursts into renewed laughter. Bodyshaking, she bites the inside of her arm. She kicks some water athim once, then twice. On the second time, Adamek lazily catches herfoot with his hand.

She stops laughing.

Nazirah pulls her foot away slowly, lettingit slide through his hand. “Stay on your side,” she warns.

“I will,” he says, “if I can ask you aquestion.”

“Ask away.”

“Why did Caal leave?”

She hesitates. “You know why.”

“Actually, I don’t.”

Nazirah sighs. “Cato thinks there’ssomething going on between us,” she says. “For real, not forshow.”

“He’s not exactly wrong.”

“No, he’s not,” she murmurs. “Even though wehate each other.”

“I don’t hate you, Nation.”

The moment is strange, fragile. Shewhispers, “I don’t hate you either.” Nazirah places her head in herhands, overwhelmed. After everything he has done, she should hatehim. But she doesn’t. Not anymore.

Adamek remains silent and Nazirah eventuallylooks up, meeting his eyes. “There are these unexpected momentsabout you,” he says slowly, “These bright, irreverent moments thatI can’t quite explain. Right now … when you were on the swings …jumping off those cliffs.…” He looks at his hands. “That’s the realreason I wanted to replay that memory. You have these moments ofcomplete i

“So you think I’m a child?”

Adamek pulls his hair, frustrated. “It’s notthat,” he says, “although you can certainly act like one.Sometimes, it’s hard to look at you.”

“It’s hard to look at me?”

He nods. “It hurts to look at you.”

“You’re looking at me now.”

Adamek exhales, gripping the sides of thetub. “You don’t get it, Nation,” he says, voice raw and honest.“You’re not getting it. You make me feel even more tainted, evenmore fucked up than I already am. Because you’re the completeopposite of me. I am corrupting you, just being around you. And ithurts.”

“So why bother talking to me at all?”

“Because if I’m anything,” he says quietly,“It’s masochistic.”

The water ripples. He is closer now, onlyinches away. “You promised to be good,” she mumbles.

“I lied.”

He lightly grazes the bruise forming onNazirah’s forehead with his fingertips. Her eyelids flutter, breathhitching at his butterfly touch. The feeling is electric,catatonic. His fingers trace the whorl of her ear, drag lazilyalong her jaw. He maps her face to memory, afraid to blink, likeshe might disappear.

Fingers trail down her neck, fingertipsaligning with the bruises where Ramses choked her. Adamek gentlycups the column of her throat with one hand. His eyebrows knittogether in intense concentration. Nazirah can see flecks of goldin his green eyes, perplexing minute suns, mirror images of herown. Alarms sound in her mind, begging her to leave while she stillcan. But Nazirah thinks she is way past leaving, and probably hasbeen for a while.

His hand journeys lower, past hercollarbone. Nazirah watches Adamek’s face transform fromcaptivation to recognition to knowing. Slowly, he slides a fingerunder the chain around her neck, holding it there. She immediatelylocks her hand around his wrist.

“Do you trust me?” he asks. He looks at hercarefully, revealing nothing. She thinks about it, nods her head.He pulls out the chain, letting his amnesty pendant hang in plainsight. It dawns on Nazirah that she has wanted him to find it allalong. They stare at each other for a long time.

Nazirah is first to break the silence. “Whydid you visit them?”

“Because it was the right thing to do,” hereplies. “Why did you save me?”

“What?”

“When I turned my back on Ramses,” he says.“You warned me. Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“So we would be even,” she says finally.

“So you wouldn’t have to owe me, youmean.”

“Call it whatever you want.”

“Don’t do it again.”

“Do what?”

“Save me,” he says. Adamek rises. He stepsout of the tub, extending a hand to her. Lightheaded, Nazirah takesit and he pulls her up. She struggles against the soggy gravity ofher dress, and leans on him for support. “Come on,” he says,handing her a towel. “We could both use some rest about now.”