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love the way he talks, his myriad grunts, the rumble in his chest when he
laughs. I even love the way he gets grumpy with me and isn’t afraid to show
it.
But most of all, I love the way he touches me, the way I touch him.
I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I just don’t see how something
that feels so right can be wrong.
“It does feel right,” I whisper, rolling onto my back, breath finally
coming easier. “It feels … wonderful.” I smile despite the pain still pulsing
behind my eyelids. Not even this nasty headache can dampen my spirits.
I stretch my arms above my head and point my toes and arch like a
cat, more aware of my physical being than I’ve ever been. My entire body
tingles at the thought of being back with Gem. Unfortunately, my body is
also dirty and, a quick sniff confirms, none too fresh-smelling. There isn’t
time for a bath—though Gem is well hidden behind the bushes on the
unguarded side of the tower, I don’t want to leave him waiting—but I can
at least have Needle bring a bowl of water and a sponge and beg her to do
something with my hair before I head back out into the night.
After I ask her to bring me something to eat. I’m faint with hunger.
“Needle!” I call from my place on the ground, too exhausted to
bother getting up. “I’m back. I’m on the balcony. Can you bring some fruit
and nuts? Enough for two?”
“Who else are you feeding?” The deep, angry male voice is
completely unexpected, making me bolt into a seated position.
I knock my head on the parapet but ignore the agony blossoming in
my skull as my headache becomes something much more painful. I spin and
spring onto the balls of my bare feet, staying in a crouch, ready to hurl
myself at this man’s voice and knock him flat the second he proves he’s
here to hurt me.
Bo’s hint that someone in Yuan has been poisoning me comes back in
a rush, making me shake as I demand, “Who’s there? Who are you?”
“It’s Bo,” he says, making my jaw drop. He sounds nothing like
himself. His voice is so deep and angry and … cutting. “You’re filthy. Get up
off the floor. You look like an animal,” he continues, barking at me like one
of his misbehaving underlings.
“Bo, I …” I want to tell him to leave me be, but I can’t until I learn
how much he knows. “What are you doing here?”
“Better question, where have you been? I discovered you were
missing early this evening.” I hear his footsteps moving closer, and the hair
at the back of my neck prickles. My mind tells me Bo wouldn’t hurt me, but
something instinctive urges me to run, to fight him if he tries to stop me.
“Who have you been with, Isra? What kind of man leaves you looking like
that? Like he had you in the dirt?”
“What?” I laugh, even as my cheeks heat. Surely he can’t mean—
“You think this is fu
feet. My laughter ends in a gasp of surprise. And pain. His fingers don’t feel
soft anymore. They bite through my flesh, not shying away when they find
bone. “You think it’s fu
“Let me go,” I order in my iciest tone, doing my best to ignore the
fear making my blood race and my splitting head spin.
If Bo decides to abuse me—here in my private chambers, where no
one but he and his father have ever dared set foot—there will be no one to
stop him. Needle’s life will be over if she lays hands on a soldier. The
punishment for assaulting a member of the guard is death.
The thought makes my heart beat even faster. Penalty of death or
no, she would still defend me. I have to tell her to stay out of this, no
matter what. “Where’s Needle?” I ask, trying not to wince when Bo’s grip
grows tighter. “I require my maid.”
“Your maid is in your bedroom,” he says, his tone openly mocking.
“With orders not to set foot outside it until I find out who the queen has
been rutting with tonight.”
Fury banishes my fear and pain. How dare he? “Get out,” I snap.
“Now. Before I punish you the way I would anyone else who spoke to me
that way.”
Now it’s his turn to laugh, an ugly laugh that makes my throat tight.
“Are you threatening me?”
“It’s not a threat; it’s a warning.” With a sharp jerk, I wrench my arm
from his grasp. Pain knifes through my head in response, but I blink it away,
ignoring the throbbing behind my eyes and the pitching of my stomach. I
can’t show weakness, not if I want to take the upper hand. “I am the queen
of Yuan. If I wanted you wrapped in chains and tossed into the river, I could
have it done. Within the hour. You forget yourself.”
“No, you forget yourself,” he snaps. “You aren’t a queen; you’re a
disgrace. Everyone knows it. That’s why your father locked you away in the
first place.”
“You have one minute to leave before I call the guards.”
“I can’t believe I felt sorry for you.” His anger is a live thing, hovering
in the air between us, threatening to dig its claws into me all over again. “I
can’t believe I defended your life while you deceived me!”
“You’re out of your mind.” I try to stand tall, but the torture in my
skull makes me sway. I brush my hair from my clammy forehead and
swallow the bile rising in my throat. “I’ve never deceived you,” I say, voice
breathier than I would like.
“But you would have,” he says. “When we were married, and you
bore me a bastard.”
For a moment all I can do is lean against the parapet, gaping in his
direction, reeling from shock and trying not to be sick. “We aren’t even
betrothed.”
“But we would have been. It was understood. By everyone, and I
don’t—”
I cut him off with a hand held in the air between us. “It doesn’t
matter what was understood. There are no papers signed. You never even
asked permission to court me. You certainly haven’t earned the right to act
like a jealous husband.”
“I pla
finding you waiting for news about the welfare of your city, I found the
tower deserted and you out spreading your legs—”
“Stop this,” I hiss, shaking with anger. “I’ve done nothing to deserve
this, and even if I had, it isn’t your place to speak to your queen like a
woman you bought for the night!” I shout, regretting it immediately as the
pain grows so fierce that tears fill my eyes.
I take a breath and try to blink them away, hating that Bo might think
that I care enough to cry over anything he has to say, but the agony only
grows worse. The bursts of color return, coming faster, a dizzying barrage
of red and green and orange that makes it difficult to focus on his words.
“I wouldn’t … None of this would have happened if …” He clears his
throat. “I came here to tell you the dome hasn’t been compromised. I did
the inspection myself. It was a snake skin on the glass. I was … so happy,”
he says, a hitch in his voice. “For you. And myself. I couldn’t wait to tell
you.”
“That’s wonderful news,” I whisper, bracing myself against the
balcony wall with both hands.
I’m shaking again. Shaking and sweating, the misery in my head
swiftly becoming more than I can bear. I have to get rid of Bo. I need
Needle to help me into bed and then hurry down and help Gem sneak back
to his cell. I won’t be seeing him or the roses tonight. I can barely stay
upright, let alone go jumping from roofs.
“Bo, this isn’t what you’re thinking.” I hate defending myself to him,