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I look like hell. Greasy hair, pale skin, myeyes red from all the crying I swore I would never do. I canpretend like I’m just mad at Ash, but I can’t hide from the truthstaring back at me: this hurts like hell.
The ‘painful knot in the middle of my chest’kind of hurt. The low ache that makes me want to curl up in a balland block out the world.
I don’t do heartbreak. I’ve never caredenough to hurt when it’s all over. There’s never been a guy to getso close.
Until Ash.
Fuck. It’s like after law school all overagain, except even worse. How many times will I let this guy in,only to have him betray me?
He used our friendship against me. All thoselate nights we joked about our secret fantasies, all that dirtytalk and more. I felt like the mystery guy sending the invitationscould read my mind – as if he knew exactly what would turn me onthe most.
Because he did. He knew everything.
Ash knew it all.
A knock comes at the door.
I whirl around so fast I nearly send a vasecrashing down, but I catch it just in time. My mind races. Thedoorman didn’t call to let me know anyone was coming up, but Ashcould charm anyone, even Juan.
“Hello?” I call cautiously. My eyes go backto the mirror, and my miserable reflection.
“It’s me, Keely.”
Thank God. She knows everything: she was thefirst person I called, to come drink tequila with me and hear thewhole sorry story.
“Hey, just wait a sec.” I do my best tofinger-comb my bedraggled hair and tug at my schlubby sweatpants.Then I go open the door.
Keely blinks. “Umm, hey. You weren’t pickingup, so I got worried.”
“Sorry. I’m fine.” I head back to the livingroom, and slump onto the couch. I reach for the nearest takeoutpizza box. Cold pizza. Works for me. “You want some?” I offer Keelythe box.
She strides inside and puts her hands on herhips. “This is not fine. This is pathetic. You’ve been locked inhere for days!”
“I’m just taking some time,” I protest in asmall voice.
“To what? Sink into total misery anddepression?”
“Well, yeah.”
Keely gives me a sympathetic smile. “Look, Iknow you feel like crap right now, but it’s my duty as your bestfriend to get your butt off the couch and feeling better.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere,” I yawn. “Andbesides, TCM is just starting their Meg Ryan marathon. C’mon, sit.I’ll order more pizza.”
“No way!” Keely grabs my hand and drags meup. “I’ve booked us a spa day. Hair salon, mani-pedis, the wholepackage.”
I look at her. “Is this your way of tellingme I look like hell?”
She grins. “Yes. But you won’t be for long.It’s OK, Justine,” her voice softens. “You’re go
Keely grabs my arm and pulls me towards her.“Don’t let Ash win,” she adds.
Her words send a sharp burn of determinationthrough me. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” I warnher.
Keely laughs. “But it’s working, right? Youwant to stay here crying over him, or get back to being thefabulous, ass-kicking Justine we all know and love?”
I pause. I’m still hurting, but Keely’s right. Ican’t hide out here forever. “Give me ten minutes,” I tell her. “Ineed to take a shower.”
Two hours, one massage, a facial and seaweedwrap later, I’m feeling better. Way better. Keely booked us in forblow-outs and manicures at her fancy salon, too, and now I’msitting in a chair beside her while people fuss around us, bringingmimosas and trashy magazines.
I relax back with a sigh. “Thanks,” Imurmur. “This is exactly what I needed.”
“Good,” Keely smiles. “Now, I’ve waited longenough. Spill.”
I look over. “Spill what?”
“How you’re feeling, what’s going on,” Keelyshrugs. “You’ve been on lockdown all day, not one word aboutAsh.”
“That’s because he’s dead to me.”
I close my eyes and try to recapture thatblissful feeling, but all I see is his face, the way he looked inthe hotel room, before I walked out on him forever.
Wounded. Determined.
So fucking sexy.
I groan in frustration. My eyes fly openagain. “Look what you did! I’d forgotten all about him.”
Keely gives me a look.
“Well, almost,” I admit. “I just… I don’tknow what to tell you. He lied, all along he had me ru
“I don’t know…” Keely bites her lip. “Itdoesn’t sound like it to me. I know I’ve never met the guy,” sheadds, “But from what you’ve been telling me, he’s not the mindgames type. That was why you were friends in the first place,right? You were both no-bullshit kind of people.”
“Yeah, well things change.” I gulp mymimosa.
“Maybe…” Keely muses. “Did he tell you whyhe sent you the invitations in the first place? Did he explain atall?”
I pause. “No,” I answer in a small voice. “Ididn’t give him the chance. I was too mad.”
“Hmmm…” Keely murmurs.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she says.
I glare. “Tell me.”
“I just…” Keely sighs. “I just wonder ifmaybe you should hear him out. I know you’re angry,” she addsquickly. “And you have every right to be. He lied. But don’t youwant to know his reasons? It might help you understand. Or move on.But either way… you’d have answers.”
She’s right. One of the worst things aboutthis whole mess is not knowing. Why Ash disappeared after lawschool, why he didn’t contact me when he was living in LA. Why hechose now of all times to start up this sexy scavenger hunt andstring me along. It doesn’t make any sense, and it’s driving mecrazy.
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