From What I Remember

“Do you want to come in, Max?” Mom asks again.

“Sure, thank you.” Max begins to step inside, but I pull him back by the arm.

“Actually…I think Max and I are going to go out to a party, if that’s okay.”

Both Mom and Max look equally surprised by my a

“Really?” Max says.

“You’re missing the biggest party of the year, and so am I.”

“You hate parties,” Max says.

“Yeah, I’m thinking of changing my position on that.”

“Don’t do it for me. I can live without it.”

“I’m not just doing it for you.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Max turns to my parents. “Would you mind if I took Kylie to the party?”

“It’s fine by us,” Mom says. “It’s really up to Kylie.”

“I just need to do one thing before we go, okay?” I head back into the house and find Jake in front of the TV watching Star Wars.

“Jakie, I want to go out to a party tonight. I know I said I’d stay here with you. But we could hang out all day tomorrow instead. What do you think?”

“You can go, Kylie. Just come back.”

“I will. Promise.”

I give my parents a peck on the cheek and head out of the house with Max before I can change my mind.

ouch me. I’m going to scream if you don’t…

The lyrics to the My Morning Jacket song keep going around and around in my head as Juan and I sit in the car, driving to Kylie’s. It’s been an hour since we kissed in my bedroom, and I’m literally going insane. Juan is my drug and I need a fix. My phone buzzes with an incoming text. Despite the fact that I’m on the 405, I take the phone out of my pocket, but Juan snatches it out of my hand before I can read it. “Kylie says she and Max are going to Charlie’s party and she wants us to come,” Juan says.

“Girlfriend, say what? That is insane!”

“Why?”

“For starters, we don’t do Freiburg parties. I hate to break this to you, but I wasn’t exactly the prom king. And secondly, we just bought a boatload of In-N-Out burgers for the John Woo film festival. What are we supposed to do with them?”

“We’ll throw them out and probably live ten years longer,” Juan says.

Throw out In-N-Out burgers? I’m horrified by Juan’s suggestion. Nobody’s perfect, I suppose.

“Tell her we’ll be there. With bells on,” I say.

“Bells?” Juan asks.

“Kidding.”

“I never know with you.”

“No bells. Promise,” I say. “But you’re sure you’re good with going to a high school party? Isn’t it all a little juvenile?”

“If it is, we’ll make our own party.”

I take it back—my man is flawless. In fact, everything’s been kind of peachy since I met Juan. To be honest, it’s kind of freaking me out. I’m not used to life going so swimmingly. I’m kind of waiting for the other high heel to drop.

At lunch with my parents today, I almost had a heart attack as I watched my dad yakkity-yak architecture with Juan. I know my parents were thrilled to see me in pants, but that doesn’t really account for the way my dad just sat there chatting it up with my new boyfriend as if he’d known him for years. I think at one point he even invited him to play golf at the club. And now I’m off to the graduation party of the year with my boyfriend, and Kylie is going with Max. It’s opposite world. At least for the moment, I’m not the huge, wonking loser I’ve played my whole life. I’m a leading man. Hopefully, it all won’t end tragically. Like maybe with some kind of shoot-out at Charlie’s.

hen Max and I pull up to Charlie’s house, which is a monumentally large Spanish-style villa, I feel my body stiffen with tension. Anxiety floods my system. This is the sort of place I avoid, the kind of situation that makes me want to crawl right back into my corner and scowl at everyone. There are cars everywhere—on the street, in the vast driveway (that looks more like a helicopter landing pad), and on the lawn—Range Rovers, BMWs, and Audi sports cars. I’m in a foreign land without a guidebook, despite the fact that I’m with Max. This is his country. I wish Will was here, waiting to greet me as I step out of the car, but he’s not. And who knows when and if he and Juan will get here.

I briefly consider asking Max to turn around and take me home, but something in me shuts that idea down. If not now, when? I survived Mexico, I survived my speech, I can survive this.

Charlie comes out of the house to greet us, but before he can say anything, Jason Simon rides up on a beach bike and nearly runs Charlie down. “Duuude! We need more salsa and chips at the beach!”

He’s drunk, wearing a wet pair of surfer shorts, and his eyes are rheumy. I don’t really know Jason, but I assume he’s surprised to see me here. I gird myself for a rude comment.

But all he says is: “Hey, Kylie. Rockin’ speech.”

“Thanks,” I say.

“I’ll let someone know,” Charlie tells Jason, and then he turns to us as Jason zooms out of sight.

“Hey, hey, hey.” He and Max bump shoulders. “Glad you guys are here.”

“Thanks for, uh, having me,” I say. Jesus, I’ve got to stop thanking people.

“Um…about what I said in the car…I don’t really want to get into it tonight,” Charlie says to me, after throwing Max a significant look. I gather he and Max have already discussed this.

“I would never say anything,” I promise.

“I just need to do this in my own way, in my own time,” he says.

“I get it. Totally,” I say. And I do. I respect Charlie enormously for what he’s done, but I’m aware that it’s a long road and he’s only at the begi

Charlie leads us through a lush courtyard and into the house.

“I need a beer,” Max says.

“Outside by the pool, bro. But it’s a friggin’ packed house, so it could take a while. I’ll catch you guys later.”

Charlie disappears into the crowd. Max takes my arm and leads me through a sumptuous hallway and into a living room the size of my whole house. There are people everywhere, hanging out on huge leather couches, their feet splayed across heavy wooden coffee tables. The room bleeds into a high-tech open kitchen and dining room, with a table that must seat twenty. This place could seriously give Cloudbank a run for its money.

I feel like I’m getting the stink eye from people as Max and I make our way through the living room. Maybe I’m imagining it. People are going out of their way to say hi to Max, but no one really acknowledges me. Sonia Smithson rushes over and hugs Max. She pulls back and stares at me.

“What are you doing here, Kylie?” she asks. I guess I’m not imagining it. What did I expect? I hate her.

“I’m a part of the catering staff—you know, summer job,” I say.

“That’s awkward,” Sonia states, without any sense of irony.

Max laughs. “She’s here with me, Sonia.” He throws a proprietary arm around me.

Sonia’s eyes go wide, like she’s seen a ghost. And then she sort of backs away.

“Ignore her, she’s an idiot,” Max tells me.

He ushers me out to the back patio, which has an unimpeded view of the ocean that momentarily takes my breath away. Wow. I can’t even fathom waking up to this view every day. There’s a pool on the expansive lawn, and a guy wearing a chef’s hat is barbecuing at a huge outdoor grill, flipping burgers and shrimp kebabs.

“Pretty awesome, huh?” Max asks as he sees me taking in the scenery.

“Yeah. Totally.”

Max and I take a seat on a lawn chair, looking out at the pool. Lacey Garson and Richie Simson play tongue hockey on chairs across from us. Other couples lie on the lawn, drinking and making out. A few guys toss around a football out by the cabana. A small crowd of people are dancing on the far side of the lawn, where a DJ is set up. It’s my first high school party. Possibly my last. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.