From What I Remember

“When did you manage to call Charlie?”

“When I told you I was calling my mom,” Max says.

Nice. Lying jerk. Can I trust anything he said last night? “Did you even call your mom?” I ask.

“No. I was afraid Will would flake on us,” Max says. “He hasn’t exactly been reliable.”

“Standing right here,” Will adds.

“I’m sorry. I guess I should have told you. I was just trying to make sure we got back for graduation.”

He guesses he should have told me? What a dick. I’ve lost all interest in talking to Max. I just want out of here. Away from Max. I can feel myself shutting down, reaching for the armor for protection. I never should have opened up in the first place.

“I’m really sorry, I had no idea Charlie would bring Lily, I swear,” Max says looking at me.

“Yeah. Right,” I say, because, really? Really? He had no idea? He called Charlie and didn’t think Lily would come. They’re the Three Musketeers. Of course Lily would come. And where was that supposed to leave me? I’m sure my feelings never figured into it. I was afraid I’d get hurt. I had no idea how fast it would happen. I’m an idiot for thinking this would end any other way.

“Yo, I’m your girlfriend, in case you forgot. If anyone should be here, it should be me, not her,” Lily screeches, pointing at me with her forefinger. “And, for Christ’s sake, can you please stop apologizing to her like she’s your girlfriend or something. Or, I don’t know. Maybe she is. Is she, Max? Is she?” Lily taunts. “Is she your girlfriend now? Is that what’s going on here?”

“No,” Max says quickly. A little too quickly.

“Yeah,” I snap. “We’re nothing to each other, Lily.”

“Well, then, stay away from him from now on. Don’t go poaching other girls’ boyfriends just ’cause you can’t find one of your own.”

“I wouldn’t want him if he was the last guy on earth.”

“Kylie…” Max says, as if there’s anything he can say to make this better.

“What?” I ask.

“I don’t know. Nothing.…”

Lily and I stare daggers at each other, both breathing hard. I hate her with every morsel of my being. Max just stands there, looking back and forth from me to Lily with a stupid, sad look on his face, like a little kid who’s lost his mother at the mall. What a loser. What did I even see in him? Talk about not rising to the occasion. Just like in the truck—when the shit really hits the fan, Max folds. It’s not an attractive quality.

“Let’s all take a few deep breaths and see if we can’t figure this thing out calmly and—”

“Fuck you, Will,” Lily snaps.

“You know what? I was trying to be civil. But forget it, you little wench. In case you haven’t gotten the picture yet, let me paint it for you. Your presence isn’t wanted here. Why don’t you run back to La Jolla, girlie?”

And that’s when Lily rushes not at Will but at me. She gets in one good smack at my face before Max and Will drag her off me. For a fancy princess, she’s pretty trashy. She could give the girls in the ’hood a run for their money.

“Mess with her, and I will mess you up, bitch,” Will says.

“Leave her out of this, Lily,” Max says in a measured voice. “You want to hit someone, hit me.”

“Shut. Up. All of you,” I yell. I am standing on the bed. “Max was right. This was all a big fucking misunderstanding. A big mistake. And I don’t want to be part of your stupid, petty games, so, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be leaving now. I have a speech to give.”

I jump off the bed and head for the door.

“Wait. Kylie…” Max comes toward me.

I turn around and look at him.

“What now, Max?”

“I just, I don’t know. Drive back with us.”

Us? Are you kidding me? Us is not an appealing prospect, dude. Us was you and me last night. And now it’s you, Lily, and Charlie. Count me out.

“I don’t think so,” I say.

Will reaches into his pocket and pulls out a passport, which he hurls toward Max.

“Here you go. See you on the other side,” he says.

As I stare at Max for probably the last time, last night descends on me—swimming in the ocean, kissing on the pier, thinking I had fallen in love. Instead of feeling good about it, I feel like shit. This is not the same boy I was with yesterday, the boy who convinced me that everything was possible. It’s morning. I’m not the princess. And he’s no prince. He’s just the same old Max Langston I’ve known for years. Selfish prick. God, what an idiot I am.

I still can’t remember how we got back to Manuel’s or what happened when we did. Hopefully, nothing much. But if I did actually lose my virginity, I’m just going to have to chalk it up to drunken stupidity. And if I got married, well, I’ll get it a

I grab my backpack and head for the door, but Will takes my arm, stopping me. “Sweetie, you might want to throw on some clothes before we head back to Cali. Trust me, the border police are a pretty conservative bunch.”

I look down and realize I’m only wearing my bra and panties.

I search the floor and see the Mexican dress from last night. It’s the last thing I want to put on, but I have no idea where my other clothes are. I snatch it off the floor, and I’m about to throw it on when I’m hit with a wave of nausea that nearly knocks me over.

I run to the bathroom, lean over the toilet, and puke my guts out.

A lovely image, I’m sure. I’m practically naked, vomiting, possibly married, potentially a huge slut, and most likely late for graduation. Ending the year with a bang.

“I’ve got it,” I hear Will say.

Someone takes my hair and pulls it away from my face. I look up to see Will standing above me. Disappointment blasts through my body. I thought it might be Max. What kind of fool allows herself to be deceived over and over and over again?

“You okay?” Max asks. Like he gives a shit. He’s standing in the doorway, keeping his distance, I’m sure.

“Yeah, great, peachy,” I say.

“MAX!” Lily yells from the bedroom. “We’ve got to get out of here. We’re going to be late.”

“Be right back,” Max says to me. And like some kind of automaton, he races out to her.

“Don’t bother,” I say.

I can hear Lily berating Max. I’m not really listening to the words; they all run together in a high-pitched, earsplitting blur. But I do hear two words from Max that make my blood curdle and my heart collapse—“temporary insanity.” It’s pride-swallowing, soul-crushing to hear him characterize our night that way.

Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him.

And I thought it was love. Boy, was I way off.

I lean over the toilet and throw up again.

ey, man, everything okay?” Manuel says, as Lily and I pass him on our way out the door.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry about all the noise. Big misunderstanding.”

“No worries.” Manuel looks at me for a beat. He knows what went down, but he’s too cool to say anything.

“Thanks for everything, Manuel.”

“No problem, amigo. Hope I see you again soon.”

“You will, man. You will.”

“You want some coffee or some food for the road?” Manuel asks. He’s such a good guy, I actually get a lump in my throat. I don’t deserve his kindness.

“No, no. We’re good. We’ll probably just stop in town.”

Manuel disappears down the hall, probably to talk to Kylie. I feel bad that Manuel’s generosity has been met by drama and tears. He doesn’t need this shit in his house. No one does.