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“Why?”
“What do you mean, why? Sooner they go extinct, the better. They make us look bad.”
“Don’t you feel sorry for them, though?”
Abel flicks my ear. “Quit being nice,” he says. “You make me feel like a turd.”
“Sorry.”
He takes another bite and brushes crumbs off his shirt, red with a neon old-school joystick on the front. He leans his head back and lets out a long, showy sigh. “So he hooked up with Arch.”
“Who did?”
He makes a duh face. “Kade.”
“Oh.”
“Arch. Even his stupid name tries too hard. He’s like 27 and he wears these Goth t-shirts from the mall.” Abel wipes foam off his upper lip with the back of his hand. “He met my sister once at Antonelli’s when my family was out to di
“I’m sorry.”
“I really really liked him.”
“Arch?”
“Kade.”
“I know.”
“And he was all like, ‘Uh, I’m sorry, were we monogamous? I missed the memo.’ Like it’s my fault he just couldn’t wait to fuck someone horrible.”
“That sucks.”
“Susa
“Screw him.”
“Screw him.”
“He was too ski
“You think?”
“He looked like a stork.” I grab another chunk of snickerdoodle. “And that name? Kade?”
“Tacky. I know.”
“Kade and Abel. Like you’re reading Genesis with a cold.”
He laughs like pffffff! and sprays tiny crumbs. “You been saving that one?”
“Since we left.”
“Well played. Hey, can I tell him we’re doing it?”
“Huh?”
“He was jealous of you. It would make him nuts.”
“Why was he—”
“Ugh, forget it. Forget it! Why bother? I don’t care.”
Abel knots his arms and sighs at the screen, his knee leaning lightly on mine. I try to refocus on the show. Sim and Cadmus aren’t in this scene; it’s the subplot with Dr. Lagarde and Dutchie fighting over the rescue mission. Dutchie yells, Just because you’re in charge doesn’t mean you’re right! All I hear is He was jealous of you.
He was jealous. Of you.
Then I get the shoulder tap.
“’Scuse me…hello? Hi-ii!”
I steel myself and turn around slowly. It’s this short girl with thick brown hair, a glee-club smile, and a tinfoil Xaarg hat. She’s got on these goofy glasses with pink plastic frames and a white tank top that spells out BELIEVER in little craft-store diamonds. She leans right over me to talk to Abel.
“You’re the guy from the Q&A!” she says.
Abel lights up. “C’est moi.”
“I think it’s really cool what you said to Tom Shandley. He was being a creep.”
“Aww, thanks!”
“Everyone was talking about it. You’re like, convention-famous.”
“Really?”
“Yep. Thanks for defending Cadsim.”
“Oh no, I wasn’t really—”
“Can I get a picture with you?”
“Uh—yeah. Of course!”
This is so dumb, but I figure I’ll let Abel have his moment. “Want me to take it?” I ask Pink Glasses.
“Who are you? Are you his boyfriend?”
“We’re just friends right now.” Right now?
“Oh, you get in too! Here, my friend’ll—ANNIE! Take our picture, okay?”
This stringy blonde comes skulking over. She’s got on Cleopatra eyeliner and a black tank top with a small silver Castaway Planet logo, and she looks vaguely embarrassed that she’s required to exist, let alone document the evening. Pink Glasses perches on the edge of the couch and leans into us while A
Abel blows kisses and aims a silly grin at the camera. It’s good to see him do that, even if he’s playing it up. There’s something about his face when he smiles, like he’s a stained-glass window with sun beaming through. I have to smile too.
“Captain…I notice you are still awake.”
Onscreen, it’s time for the big Cadsim scene. The girls abandon picture-taking; clasp hands and dart off with a squeal. Abel nudges me.
“Pink Glasses and A
All the girls find their seats and the room gets so church-quiet you can practically smell holy water. Abel shifts closer—not to touch me or anything, just to draw a clear line between us and them. Warmth glows in the sliver of space between us. We each train our eyes on half the TV screen: his boy on the left and mine on the right, murmuring to each other in the dark.
“I’m so tired of ru
“Perhaps you underestimate yourself, Captain. You are always free.”
“Not like this. I only feel this way when you’re around. Maybe we should just stay here forever, huh?”
“The notion is highly impractical, though you would be an agreeable companion.”
“It’s so quiet in here, Sim.”
“Yes, Captain.”
“Like it could swallow up all your secrets.”
“Quite…”
Meaningful look. Another lingering arm touch. Fade to black.
Abel pokes me and I gulp in some air.
For crap’s sake: the holy-grail scene of the world’s most ridiculous, implausible ship, and I was holding my breath with the rest of the room.
“Wa
I close my eyes and shudder. “Definitely.”
***
Across the street from the Superion I
We buy a roll of red tickets from a standard-issue church lady—billowy flowered blouse, little gold cross, glasses dangling from a beaded chain—and roam around the crowded fair. It’s pretty much like every other church fair I’ve been to. The basketball toss has the same sad shredded net, kids shriek in a red and blue bouncy castle and chuck dented ping-pong balls at goldfish bowls, and the snack stands sell sausages and roasted corncobs and cones of hot popcorn in that radioactive yellow. Everything’s familiar. Except now I’m here with a boy.
It’s weird. No one’s giving us a second glance now, but it would be so easy to attract bad attention. All I’d have to do is slip my hand in Abel’s and walk around like that, like all the other teenage couples linking arms and holding hands and kissing in line for the dunking booth. I can see the expressions now. Guys who look like my dad, chewing their tongues and hunching their shoulders up. Women who look like my mom, sighing a little and glancing away but thinking so loud I can hear every word.
And they would be right.
“What’s up, Tin Man?” Abel pokes me.
“Hm?”
“You all right? Your bolts too tight?”
“I’m fine.”
This shivery energy thrums between us. I tell myself it’s sugar and caffeine. Keep my arms folded in front of me.
We try a few rounds at the ring-toss stand and Abel just misses our shot to win a giant stuffed penguin with a half-unraveled scarf. To make up for it, he runs over to a stand and buys me a puff of blue cotton candy. Like we’re dating or something. I can’t look him in the eye when he hands me the white paper cone, so I glance past the rides and snack stands to where the blond stone wall of the church is, but I can’t let my eyes linger there either. It’s like looking at a house you don’t live in anymore. You wish you could go in again, but strangers live there now and you aren’t welcome, and it wouldn’t be the same anyway.