Fangirl

“Go ahead,” Cath said. “I’m listening.”

“Okay…” Nick cleared his throat. “Um. Fine. I came to tell you, to tell Cath”—he looked at her—“that my story was selected for Prairie Schooner. That’s the university’s literary journal,” he said to Wren. “It’s an incredible honor for an undergraduate.”

“Congratulations,” Cath said, feeling all used up all over again. Like he was robbing her again, this time at gunpoint.

Nick nodded. “Yeah. Well … The faculty adviser, you know, Professor Piper, she, um—” He looked around the hallway, agitated, then gave a little huff. “She knows that you helped me out on my story, and she thought it would be nice if we shared the credit.”

“His story…” Wren looked at Cath.

“Nice?” Cath asked.

“It’s a prestigious journal,” Nick said. “And it will be a full coauthor credit—we can even do it alphabetically. Your name will come first.”

Cath felt someone’s hand on her back. “Hey,” Levi said, kissing the top of her head. “Got off early. Hey,” he said brightly to Nick, holding his arm out and around Cath to shake hands. “I’m Levi.”

Nick took his hand, looking confused and hassled. “Nick.”

“Nick from the library,” Levi said, still cheerful, resting his arm around Cath’s shoulders.

Nick looked back at Cath. “So what do you think? Is that cool? Will you tell Professor Piper that it’s cool?”

“I don’t know,” Cath said. “It’s just…” Just, just, just. “After everything, I’m not sure I’m comfortable…”

He pressed his navy blue eyes into her. “You’ve got to say yes, Cath. This is such an opportunity for me. You know how badly I want this.”

“Then take it,” Cath said quietly. She was trying to pretend that everyone in her whole life wasn’t standing right there listening. “You can have it, Nick. You don’t have to share it with me.”

Nick was pretending, too. “I can’t,” he said, moving another step closer. “She—Professor Piper—says it runs with both of our names or not at all. Cath. Please.”

The hallway had gotten very quiet.

Reagan was looking at Nick like she was already tying him to the railroad tracks.

Wren was looking at him like she was one of the cool girls in his stories. Oozing contempt.

Levi was smiling. Like he’d smiled at those drunk guys at Muggsy’s. Before he’d talked Jandro into throwing a punch.

Cath went back to pretending they weren’t there. She thought about Nick’s story—their story?—about everything she’d poured into it and the chance, now, that she might get something out.

And then she thought about sitting next to Nick in the stacks, trying to get him to let go of the notebook.

Levi squeezed her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Cath said. “But I don’t want any credit. You were right all along. It’s your story.”

“No,” he said, clenching his teeth. “I can’t lose this.”

“You’ll get another opportunity. You’re a great writer, Nick,” she said, and meant it. “You don’t need me.”

“No. I can’t lose this. I already lost my teaching assistantship because of you.”

Cath stepped back. Into Levi.

Reagan opened the door wider, and Wren pushed past Nick, pushing Cath into the room. “It was nice to meet you,” Levi said, and you’d have to really know Levi to know that he didn’t mean it.

Nick held his ground, like he still thought he might talk Cath into helping him.

Reagan kicked the door shut in his face. “Were you really going out with that guy?” she asked before it had quite closed. “Was that your library boyfriend?”

“Writing partner,” Cath said, avoiding them all, setting her bag on her desk.

“What a douche,” Reagan muttered. “I’m pretty sure my mom has that scarf.”

“Did he steal your story?” Wren asked. “The one you were working on together?”

“No. Not exactly.” Cath spun around. “It doesn’t matter,” she said with as much iron as she could. “Okay?”

She looked up at all three faces, all ready to be offended for her, and she realized that it really didn’t matter. Nick—Nick who couldn’t write his own anti-love story without her—was ancient history.

Cath gri

“Are you okay?” he asked, gri

“I’m great,” she said.

Her sister was still sizing Cath up. “Great,” Wren said, deciding something. “Okay. Great.” Then she turned to Levi and punched his arm. “All right, Lieutenant Starbuck, since you’re here, you might as well take me to FarmHouse. And you might as well get us White Chocolate Mochas on the way.”

“Might as well leave now,” Levi said gamely. “I’m parked in the fire lane.”

Cath picked up her bag again.

“And I want you both to know,” Levi said, opening the door—Cath peeked out to make sure Nick was gone—“that I know that was a Battlestar Galactica reference.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Wren said, “you’re a first-class geek.”

*   *   *

When they got to Jandro’s frat house, Levi got out again to help Wren. He only sometimes helped Cath in and out anymore. Usually she was already there before he got a chance. When Wren got out of the truck, Cath reluctantly slid away from the driver’s seat and buckled her seat belt.

Levi started the truck and shifted gears without looking at her. He hadn’t really looked at her since they’d left her room.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

“Yeah. Just hungry. Are you hungry?” He still didn’t look at her.

“Is this about Nick?” she asked. She realized that she was waiting for it to be about Nick.

“No,” Levi said. “Should it be? You seemed like you didn’t want to talk about him.”

“I don’t,” Cath said.

“Okay. Are you hungry?”

“No. Are you jealous?”

“No.” He shook his head, like he was shaking something off; then he turned to her and smiled. “Do you want me to be?” He raised an eyebrow. “I can throw a big tantrum if you like that sort of thing.”

“I don’t think so,” Cath said. “Thanks, though.”

“Good. I’m too hungry to rage. Do you mind if we stop somewhere?”

“No,” she said. “Or I could make you something if you want. Eggs.”

Levi beamed at her. “God, yes. Can I watch?”

Cath smiled. “You’re ridiculous.”

*   *   *

Levi wanted an omelette. He got the eggs and cheese out of the refrigerator, and Cath found a pan and butter. (This kitchen almost didn’t remind Cath of the missing blond girl anymore. That girl had no staying power.)

Cath had just cracked three eggs when Levi tugged on her ponytail. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Why doesn’t your sister like me?”

“Everyone likes you,” Cath said, whisking the eggs with a fork.

“Then how come you only hang out with her when I’m not around?”

Cath glanced back at him. He was leaning against the sink.

“Cheese,” she said, nodding at his hands. “Grate.” When he just kept looking at her, Cath said, “Maybe I like having you all to myself.”

“Maybe…,” he said, raking one hand into his hair. “Maybe I embarrass you.”

She poured the eggs into the pan and reached for the cheese grater herself. “What am I embarrassed by? Your rangy good looks or your irresistible personality?”

“Alejandro is a Regents Scholar,” Levi said softly behind her. “And his family owns half the Sand Hills.”

“Wait … what?” Cath set everything down and turned back to him. “You really think I’m embarrassed by you?”

Levi smiled gently and shrugged. “I’m not angry, sweetheart.”

“No, you’re crazy. I didn’t even know those things about Jandro, and anyway, who cares?” Cath reached up to his chest and clenched her fists in his black sweatshirt. “God. Levi. Look at you … you’re…” She didn’t have words for what Levi was. He was a cave painting. He was The Red Balloon. She lifted her heels and pulled him forward until his face was so close, she could look at only one of his eyes at a time. “You’re magic,” she said.