Fangirl

He made a frustrated noise that was half laugh, half sigh, and wrinkled his nose. “Are you really that nervous?”

“I guess so,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you know why? I mean, what’s making you nervous? I meant what I said earlier about the table, and what’s on and off of it.”

“There is no table in here,” Cath said. “There’s just a bed.”

He pulled her hand into his chest. “Is that what you’re scared of?”

“I don’t know what I’m scared of.…” That was a lie. A giant one. She was scared that he’d start touching her, and then that they wouldn’t stop. She was scared that she wasn’t ready to be that person yet. The person who doesn’t stop. “I’m sorry,” she said. Levi looked down at their hands, and he looked so disappointed and confused—and it was such a piss-poor way to treat him. Dishonestly. Distantly. After he’d put himself out there for her again and again.

“This weekend…,” Cath said, and she tried to scoot closer. She knelt on the couch cushion next to him. “Thank you.”

Levi smiled again and lifted his eyes, just his eyes, up to her.

“I don’t think I can tell you how much it meant to me,” she said. “That you were there at the hospital. That you came.” He squeezed her hand. Cath pressed on: “I don’t think I can tell you how much you mean to me,” she said. “Levi.”

He lifted his whole face. His eyes were hopeful now. Wary.

“C’mere,” he said, tugging on her hand.

“I’m not sure I know how.”

He clenched his jaw. “I have an idea.”

“I can’t read you fanfiction,” she said, teasing. “I don’t have my computer.”

“Don’t you have your phone?”

She tilted her head. “Was that really your idea? Fanfiction?”

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing the palm of her hand. “It always relaxes you.”

“I thought you’d been asking me to read to you because you liked the story—”

“I do like the story. And I like the way it relaxes you. You never finished reading me the rabbit one, you know. And you’ve never read me anything from Carry On.”

Cath looked over at her coat. Her phone was in her pocket. “I feel like I’m failing you,” she said. “I was supposed to come over here and do stuff with you, not read lame fanfiction.”

Levi bit his lip and stifled a laugh. “Do stuff. Is that the street name for it? Come on, Cath, I want to know what happens. They just killed the rabbit, and Simon had finally figured out that Baz was a vampire.”

“Are you sure about this?”

Levi smiled, still looking overly cautious, and nodded.

Cath leaned off the couch and found her phone. She wasn’t used to googling her own stories, but when she typed in “Magicath” and “The Fifth Hare,” her story came right up.

While she looked for their place, Levi gently put his hands on her waist and pulled her back against him. “Okay?” he asked.

She nodded. “Have I read this part, ‘Simon didn’t know what to say. How to respond to … this. All this bloody information’?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Did we get to the part where the rabbit caught fire?”

“What? No.”

“Okay,” Cath said. “I think I’ve got it.” She leaned back against Levi’s chest and felt his chin in her hair. This is fine, she told herself. I’ve been just here before. She propped her glasses in her hair and cleared her throat.

Simon didn’t know what to say. How to respond to … this. All this bloody information.

He picked up the sword and wiped it clean on his cloak. “You all right?”

Baz licked his bloody lips—like they were dry, Simon thought—and nodded his head.

“Good,” Simon said, and realized that he meant it.

Then a plume of flame shot up behind Baz, throwing his face into shadow.

He whipped around and backed away from the rabbit. Its paw was well and truly on fire now, and the flames were already crawling up the beast’s chest.

“My wand…,” Baz said, looking around him on the floor. “Quick, cast an extinguishing spell, Snow.”

“I … I don’t know any,” Simon said.

Baz reached for Simon’s wand hand, and wrapped his own bloody fingers around Simon’s. “Make a wish!” he shouted, flicking the wand in a half circle.

The fire sputtered out, and the nursery fell dark.

Baz let go of Simon’s hand and started hunting around on the floor for his wand. Simon stepped closer to the gruesome corpse. “Now what?” he asked it.

As if in answer, the rabbit began to shimmer, then fade—and then it was gone, leaving nothing behind but the smell of pe

And something else …

Baz conjured one of his blue balls of light. “Ah,” he said, picking up his wand. “Filthy bugger was lying on it.”

“Look,” Simon said, pointing to another shadow on the floor. “I think it’s a key.” He stooped to pick it up—an old-fashioned key with fanged white rabbit’s teeth on its blade.

Baz stepped closer to look. He was dripping with blood; the smell of gore was overwhelming.

“Do you think this is what I was meant to find?” Simon asked.

“Well,” Baz said thoughtfully, “keys do seem more useful than giant, murderous rabbits.… How many more of these do you have to fight?”

“Five. But I can’t do it alone. This one would have murdered me if—”

“We have to clean up this mess,” Baz said, looking down at the stains on the thick-piled rug.

“We’ll have to tell the Mage when he comes back,” Simon said. “There’s too much damage here to handle ourselves.”

Baz was silent.

“Come on,” Simon said, “we can at least get ourselves cleaned up now.”

The boys’ showers were as empty as the rest of the school. They chose stalls at opposite ends.…

“What’s wrong?” Levi asked.

Cath had stopped reading.

“I feel weird reading this mushy gay stuff out loud—your roommates are here. Is one of them gay? I don’t think I can read this with actual gay people in the house.”

Levi giggled. “Micah? Trust me, it’s okay. He watches straight stuff in front of me all the time. He’s obsessed with Titanic.”

“That’s different.”

“Cath, it’s okay. Nobody can hear you.… Wait, is this really a shower scene? Like, a shower scene?”

“No,” Cath said. “Geez.”

Levi moved his arms around her waist until he was holding her properly. Then he pushed his mouth into her hair. “Read to me, sweetheart.”

Simon finished first and put on fresh jeans. When he looked back at Baz’s stall, the water was still ru

Vampire, Simon thought, allowing himself to think the word for the first time, watching the water run.

It should have filled him with hate and revulsion—the thought of Baz usually filled him with those things. But all Simon could feel right now was relief. Baz had helped him find the rabbit, helped him fight it, had kept both of them alive.

Simon was relieved. And grateful.

He shoved his singed and stained clothes into the trash, then went back to their room. It was a long time before Baz joined him. When he did, he looked better than Simon had seen him look all year. Baz’s cheeks and lips were flushed dark pink, and his grey eyes had come out of their shadows.

“Hungry?” Simon asked.

Baz started laughing.

The sun hadn’t quite broken the horizon yet, and no one was about in the kitchens. Simon found bread and cheese and apples, and tossed them onto a platter. It seemed strange to sit alone in the empty dining hall, so he and Baz sat on the kitchen flagstones instead, leaning back against a wall of cabinets.

“Let’s get this over with,” Baz said, biting into a green apple, obviously trying to seem casual. “Are you going to tell the Mage about me?”

“He already thinks you’re a nasty git,” Simon said.

“Yes,” Baz said quietly, “but this is worse, and you know it. You know what he’ll have to do.”

Turn Baz over to the Coven.