Fangirl

They danced into the next song and through it and into the next. Levi stepped toward her, maybe not even on purpose, and Cath whirled up onto her bed. He laughed and jumped up onto Reagan’s, practically bumping his head on the ceiling.

They kept on dancing together, imitating each other’s goofiest moves, bouncing at the end of the beds.… It was almost like dancing with Wren. (But not, of course. Really, really not.)

And then the door swung open.

Cath jumped back away from it and fell flat on her mattress, bouncing and rolling onto the floor.

Levi was laughing so hard, he had to lean against the wall with both hands.

Reagan walked in and said something, but Cath didn’t catch it. She reached up to her desk and closed the laptop, stopping the music. Levi’s laughter rang out in the sudden quiet. Cath was completely out of breath, and she’d landed wrong on her knee.

“What. The. Major. Fuck,” Reagan said, more shocked than angry—at least Cath didn’t think she seemed angry.

“Emergency dance party,” Levi said, jumping off the bed and reaching out to help Cath. Cath held on to the desk and stood up.

“Okay?” he asked.

She smiled and nodded her head.

“Have you met Cather?” Levi said to Reagan, his face still shining with amusement. “She spits hot fire.”

“This is exactly the sort of day I’m having,” Reagan said, setting down her bag and kicking off her shoes. “Weird shit around every corner. I’m going out. You coming?”

“Sure.” Levi turned to Cath. “You coming?”

Reagan looked at Cath and frowned. Cath felt something sticky blooming again in her stomach. Maybe the scene with Professor Piper was coming back to her. Or maybe she shouldn’t have been dancing with her roommate’s boyfriend. “You should come,” Reagan said. She seemed sincere.

Cath tugged at the hem of her T-shirt. “Nah. It’s already late. I’m just go

“at muggsy’s. COME NOW. 911.”

Cath checked the time—Wren had texted her twenty minutes ago, while she and Levi were dancing. She set her phone on the desk and started putting her boots on over her pajama pants.

“Is everything okay?” Levi asked.

“I don’t know.…” Cath shook her head. She felt ashamed again. And scared. Her stomach seemed thrilled to have something new to twist about. “What’s Muggsy’s?”

“It’s a bar,” he said. “Near East Campus.”

“What’s East Campus?”

Levi reached around her and picked up her phone. He frowned at the screen. “I’ll take you. I’ve got my car.”

“Take her where?” Reagan asked. Levi tossed her Cath’s phone and put on his coat. “I’m sure she’s fine,” Reagan said, looking at the text. “She probably just had too much to drink. Mandatory freshman behavior.”

“I still have to go get her,” Cath said, taking back the phone.

“Of course you do,” Levi agreed. “Nine-one-one is nine-one-one.” He looked at Reagan. “You coming?”

“Not if you don’t need me. We’re supposed to meet A

“I’ll catch up with you later,” he said.

Cath was already standing by the door. “Your sister’s fine, Cath,” Reagan said almost (but not quite) gently. “She’s just being normal.”

*   *   *

Levi’s car was a truck. A big one. How did he afford the gas?

Cath didn’t want any help getting in, but the ru

The cab smelled like gasoline and roasted coffee beans. The seat belt was stuck, but she still managed to get it buckled.

Levi swung into his seat smoothly and smiled at her. He was trying to be encouraging, Cath figured.

“What’s East Campus?” she asked.

“Are you serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be serious right now?”

“It’s the other part of campus,” he said. “Where the Ag School is?”

Cath shrugged impatiently and looked out the window. It had been sleeting since this afternoon. The lights looked like wet smears on the streets. Fortunately, Levi was driving slow.

“And the law school,” he said. “And there are dormitories and a perfectly adequate bowling alley. And a dairy. Seriously, none of this is ringing any bells?”

Cath let her head rest on the glass. The truck’s heater was still blowing cold air. It had been a half hour now since the text. A half hour past 911. “How far is it?”

“A few miles. Ten minutes from here, maybe longer with the weather. East Campus is where most of my classes are.…”

Cath wondered if Wren was alone. Where was Courtney? Weren’t they supposed to be ski

“There’s a tractor museum,” Levi said. “And an international quilt education center. And the food in the residence halls is outstanding.…”

It wasn’t right. Having a twin sister was supposed to be like having your own watcher. Your own guardian. BUILT-IN BEST FRIEND—their dad had bought them shirts that said that for their thirteenth birthday. They still wore them sometimes (though never at once) just to be fu

What’s the point of having a twin sister if you won’t let her look out for you? If you won’t let her fight at your back?

“East Campus is just so much better than City Campus in every way. And you don’t even know that it exists.”

The light ahead turned red, and Cath felt the tires spin beneath them. Levi shifted gears, and the truck rolled to a perfect stop.

*   *   *

They had to park quite a ways from the bar. This whole street was bars, block after block of them.

“They’re not going to let me in,” Cath said, wishing Levi would walk faster. “I’m underage.”

“Muggsy’s never checks.”

“I’ve never even been in a bar.”

A dozen girls spilled out of the doorway ahead of them. Levi grabbed Cath’s sleeve and pulled her out of the way. “I have,” he said. “It’s going to be fine.”

“It’s not fine,” Cath said, more to herself than to Levi. “If it was fine, she wouldn’t need me.”

Levi pulled on her sleeve again and opened a heavy, black, windowless door. Cath glanced up at the neon sign over their heads. Only the UGGSY and a four-leaf clover lit up. There was a big guy sitting just inside on a stool, reading a Daily Nebraskan with a flashlight. He flipped the light up at Levi and smiled. “Hey, Levi.”

Levi smiled back. “Hey, Yackle.”

Yackle held a second door open with one hand—he didn’t even look at Cath. Levi patted him on the arm as they walked past.

It was dark inside the bar and crowded, people pressed shoulder to shoulder. There was a band playing on a couch-sized stage near the door. Cath looked around, but she couldn’t see past the crush of bodies.

She wondered where Wren was.

Where had Wren been forty-five minutes ago?

Hiding in the bathroom? Crouched against a wall?

Had she been sick, had she passed out? She did that sometimes.… Who had been here to help her? Who had been here to hurt her?

Cath felt Levi’s hand on her elbow. “Come on,” he said.

They squeezed by a high-top table full of people doing shots. One of the guys fell back into Cath, and Levi propped him back up with a smile.

“You hang out here?” Cath asked when they were past the table.

“It’s only douchey like this when there’s a band playing.”

She and Levi moved farther from the stage, closer to the bar. A movement near the wall caught Cath’s eye—the way someone flipped back her hair. “Wren,” Cath said, surging forward. Levi held her arm and pushed in front of her, trying to clear the way.

“Wren!” Cath shouted over the crowd, before she was even close enough for Wren to hear. Cath’s heart was pounding. She was trying to make out the situation around Wren—a big guy was standing in front of her, his arms caging Wren against the carpeted wall.