Truly Madly Yours

As soon as Gwen turned on her heel, Delaney spun around. “Im sorry, Nick. Im sorry she said those thing to you, and I promise I wont let her do anything to jeopardize what Henry left you.

“Forget about it. He found his pants and shoved his legs inside. They dressed in silence, and when she walked him to the front door, he left quickly and neglected to kiss her good-bye. She told herself it didnt matter and went in search of her mother. Gwen wasnt going to like what she had to say, but Delaney had quit living her life for her mother a long time ago. She found her in the kitchen, waiting.

“Why are you home, Mom?

“Ive discovered that Max is not the man for me. Hes too critical, she said through clenched jaws. “Never mind about that now. What was that man doing in my house?

“I told you, he was spending Christmas with me.

“I thought that was his Jeep parked in front of the garage, but I was sure I had to be mistaken. Not in a million years did I expect to find him . .. you ... in my home. Nick Allegrezza of all men. Hes—

“Im in love with him, Delaney interrupted.

Gwen grabbed the back of a kitchen chair. “That is not fu

Sometimes her mothers logic boggled the mind, but it was always predictable. “My feelings for Nick have nothing to do with you. I want to be with him, and Im going to be with him.

“I see. Her mothers face hardened. “Are you saying you dont care how I feel about it?

“Of course I care. I dont want you to hate the man I love. I know you cant be really happy for me right now, but maybe you could just accept that I am involved with Nick, and Im happy with him.

“Thats impossible. You cant be happy with a man like Nick. Dont do this to yourself or your family.

Delaney shook her head and her crown slid to one side. She pulled it from her head and brushed her fingers across the cool rhinestones. It was no use. Her mother would never change. “Henrys dead. I am your only family now. She looked up at Gwen. “I want Nick. Dont make me choose.

* * *

Nick stood by the stone fireplace and stared at the blinking lights Sophie had helped him hang on his tree. He raised a bottle of beer to his lips and the lights blurred as he tipped his head back.

Hed known better. For the past few days hed lived his fantasy. Hed held her while shed slept in that tiny pink bed and let himself imagine a house, and a dog, and a couple of kids. Hed let himself imagine her in his life, for the rest of his life, and hed wanted it more than breathing.

Once I leave in June, youll never see me. If you thought you never saw me after I left ten years ago, you just wait. When I leave this time, I wont tell you where I am. When I leave, Ill have three million dollars and Ill never come back to visit you.

He was a fool. Hed known she would leave, but hed let himself start to think that he was enough to make her stay. Shed said she loved him. So had a lot of women at that particular moment, when hed been buried inside giving them both pleasure. It didnt always mean anything, and he wasnt the kind of guy to wait around and watch for signs from the buckbrush to see if it did.

The doorbell rang and he expected to see Delaney. He found Gail instead.

“Merry Christmas, she said and held a brightly colored box toward him. He let her in because he needed a distraction.

“I didnt get you anything. He hung her coat by the door, then led her into the kitchen.

“Thats okay. Its just cookies, nothing big. Josh and I had some extra. Nick set the box on the counter and looked her over. She wore a tight red dress and red stiletto heels. Hed bet she had on her red garter and nothing else. Shed come over to deliver more than gingersnaps, but he wasnt even mildly interested.

“Where is your son?

“His daddy has him tonight. All night. I thought you and I could spend some quality time together in your hot tub.

The doorbell rang for a second time in five minutes, and this time it was Delaney. She stood on his porch, a foil red present in her hands and a smile on her lips. Her smile died when Gail walked up behind him and hung her wrist over his shoulder. He could have removed it. He didnt.

“Come on in, he said. “Gail and I were just about to jump in the hot tub.

“I— Her stu

“Neither did Gail. He knew what she thought and he let her think it. “You wont need one, either.

“Whats going on, Nick?

He wrapped an arm around Gails waist and pulled her up against his side. He took a drink from the bottle and looked at the woman he loved so much it was like a writhing ache in his chest. “Youre a big girl. Figure it out.

“Why are you behaving this way? Are you angry about what happened earlier? I told you Ill make sure my mother doesnt say anything.

“I dont give a rats ass about any of that. Even if hed wanted to stop himself from hurting her, he couldnt. He felt like a powerless kid again, watching her and wanting her so much it drove him crazy. “Why dont you join us in the hot tub?

She shook her head. “Threes a crowd, Nick.

“No, threes one hell of a good time. He knew hed never forget the pain in her eyes, and he turned his gaze to Gail. “What do you say? Are you up for a threesome?

“A—

He looked back at Delaney and raised a brow. “Well?

She lifted her free hand and grabbed her wool coat above her heart. She took a step backward and her mouth moved but no words came out. He watched her turn, the shiny red package forgotten in her hand, and run down the sidewalk to her car. Better to let her go before he begged her to stay. Better to end it now. Nick Allegrezza didnt beg anyone to love him. He never had and he never would.

He made himself stand there, and he made himself watch her drive out of his life. He made himself feel his insides rip apart, then he handed Gail her coat. “Im not good company, he said, and for once she had the sense not to try and change his mind.

Alone, he walked into the kitchen and popped the cap off another beer. By midnight hed graduated to Jim Beam. Nick wasnt necessarily a mean drunk, but he was in a mean mood. He drank to forget, but the more he drank the more he remembered. He remembered the scent of her skin, the soft texture of her hair and the taste of her mouth. He fell asleep on the sofa with the sound of her laughter in his ears and his name on her lips. When he woke at eight, his head pounded, and knew he needed a little something for breakfast. He grabbed a bottle of Bufferin and added a little orange juice to his vodka. He was on his third drink and seventh aspirin when his brother walked into his house.

Nick lay sprawled on the leather couch, cha

“You look like shit.

Nick switched the cha

Louie crossed to the television and shut it off. “We expected to see you last night for Christmas di

Nick set his empty glass and the remote on an end table. He finally looked at Louie standing there across the room, surrounded by a hazy glow, kind of like the picture of Jesus his mother had hanging on the wall in her dining room. “Didnt make it.

“Obviously. Whats going on?

“None of your business. His head pounded and he wanted to be left alone. Maybe if he stayed drunk for a couple of months, the alcohol would kill that persistent voice in his head that had started nagging him sometime around midnight, calling him an idiot and telling him hed made the biggest mistake of his life.

“Lisa talked to Delaney this morning. I guess shes pretty upset about something. Would you happen to know anything about that?