Ruin

Pretty sure I was that something. Not that I cared. He held out his hand, I gripped it like a lifeline.

Melda shook her head and handed Wes a large plate full of rolls. “Here you go. Why don’t you go into the breakfast room and have some protein and juice. I’ve set up the breakfast bar for you two, so you won’t have any excuses to come back in here.”

“She’s really thought of everything.” I laughed.

“Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday. She doesn’t want me ruining it.” Wes took my hand and led me into another large room different than the one we ate in last night. “And this is the breakfast room.”

The room was entirely covered in windows on the east side. The sun was already up, but I could tell why they ate there in the morning. It was beautiful and warm, almost like a sun room.

“Juice?” Wes called from behind me.

“Sure.” I went over to the table and sat facing the windows.

“So.” Wes rubbed his hands together. “You ready to knock some more things off that list of yours?”

I took a sip of juice and nearly cried. It was the perfect mixture of sweet and pulp. “We go

“Nah.” Wes put some of the roll in his mouth. “We’re going to ski

I choked on my juice.

“Of course, we can’t do that in broad daylight. After all, what would Melda say? Swimming lessons first, nakedness second.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask what third is.” I didn’t chance looking at him and losing my composure. I mean, I hadn’t kissed a guy before him.

“Kiersten,” he purred, his lips close to my ear. “You mean to tell me you don’t know what comes after being naked?”

Oh. My. Hell. Somebody open a window. His hand grazed my arm as he chuckled deeply into my ear. My body was tense with nervousness and anticipation as his hand made its way up to my shoulder and then he cupped my neck pulling me closer so our lips were nearly touching.

“Cranberry sauce.”

“Wh-what?” I shook my head. “That comes after being naked?”

Wes’s eyes lit up. “Of course, I mean that is how you wrote the list right? Or am I missing a few in between?” He tapped his fingers against his lips. “Maybe I have it mixed up, but I’m pretty sure you still haven’t done that.”

I shook my head no, not trusting myself to speak.

“Then it’s settled.”

“Right.” My voice was hoarse. “Swimming. Naked. Cranberry sauce.”

“SNC.”

“Awesome, like a code.”

Wes pulled back and popped some more food into his mouth. “Exactly.” He reached into his pocket and then his gaze furrowed for a few brief seconds before he pulled something out and kept it in his hand.

My eyes were trained on his hand as he kept it clenched tight.

Weird.

I turned my head and looked back out at the Puget Sound.

“So…” Wes’s hands were both empty as he braced himself on either side of my chair, his hands massaging my shoulders. “What do you say we eat some more breakfast and then go get ready for a morning swim?”

“Is it going to be cold?” I asked like a five-year-old not wanting to take swimming lessons.

“Heated pool,” Wes answered. “Besides, it’s not as if you won’t have me to warm you up.”

“Probably shouldn’t be doing any warming when we’re naked.”

“You sure about that?” His hands froze on my shoulders. Holy crap, what was I supposed to say?

“I mean, that’s wilderness 101, naked bodies rubbing together to create heat, friction—”

“Good thing we aren’t in the wilderness.” I laughed, trying to kill the sexual tension that was making me want to turn around and throw myself at him.

“I’d say it’s a pity.” Wes’s hands left my shoulders. I almost slumped over onto my plate but kept my body rigid. “Need a suit? I can grab you an extra if you do.”

I didn’t even want to think about why they would have extra suits.

“Lots of parties, people leave suits. All of them are clean I promise.”

“Yeah.” I swallowed. “A suit would be good then.”

He was gone for maybe five minutes before he returned with a white bikini. Surely that wasn’t all they had left?

My eyes narrowed.

He gri

“Will it cover anything?”

“The important parts.” He held it out to me. “Come on, live a little.”

I snatched it from his grip. “If I die from hypothermia…”

“Not possible.” Wes shrugged. “Not unless you decide to take a midnight swim in the Sound, and I would advise against it, since that giant squid seems to think it’s a cool place to live.”

“Noted.” Did I mention I hated fish? Or the fact that the reason I didn’t ever go diving with my parents was because water terrified me? Maybe that’s why the nightmares were worse for me than someone else. I couldn’t imagine dying a watery death. I was terrified of it. Ever since I fell in the pool when I was three, I hadn’t been able to go near it without feeling weak in the knees.

Well, Wes would find out soon why this was on my list, so I might as well tell him before I jumped into the water and made a fool out of myself. I went into the bathroom and shakily took off my clothes, then do

I leaned against the porcelain sink and took a few deep breaths. I could do this. I would do this. I was halfway through my list.

“Get it together, Kiersten.” I stared at my reflection in the mirror, my red hair hung down to the middle of my back in thick waves. My green eyes stared back in a terrified fashion, as if my insides were begging me not to go through with it.

“I can do this,” I repeated, my fingers still clutching the sink. “I will do this.” With a final jerk, I pulled away from the counter and opened the door. I shook the entire way down the hall. By the time I reached the door to the back porch and pool, my hands were shaking so bad it looked like I was a druggie in need of a hit.

“You can do this,” I whispered again and opened the door.

Cold air hit me immediately. Whose brilliant idea was it again to go swimming in November? Oh right, mine. Teeth chattering, I walked over to the edge of the pool and nearly had a heart attack when Wes’s hand touched my shoulder.

“Ready?” he asked.

No. I swallowed and gave him one jerky nod.

With an understanding smile, he pulled me into his warm embrace. His body was searing against mine, the only thing dividing us was our suits and quite honestly it scared the heck out of me that I wanted nothing between us, that I wanted to be pressed against him and only him. I could almost forget about the pool, forget about the terror.

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered in my hair. “I’ve got you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, I won’t let you fall, not on your own. I won’t let you drown. I won’t release your hand until you’re ready and even then I won’t turn my back on you until you’re safely back on the ground.”

“Okay.”

“Really?” He stepped back.

“Yes, just we need to be fast.”

“Ah, music to every man’s ears.” He laughed aloud and helped me step into the pool.

Chapter Thirty-Three

She has absolutely no idea what she does to me… She’s my medicine, my cure, my everything. If only hearts could heal that way — through someone else’s beating.

Weston

“There you go.” I helped her down the first stair into the giant pool. It was one of those infinity ones; at first glance it looked like the pool ran directly into the Sound instead of off a nice little cliff leading to the hot tub.

“It’s warm.” Kiersten splashed her feet a bit and looked up at me, the brightest, sexiest smile I’d ever seen on her lips. It was hopeful and completely trusting in me, and in us. I should have told her then. Told her that I wasn’t the hero she thought I was. Nah, I was keeping something epic from her, which sort of made me the villain in this tale. But damn, I wanted to be the hero. Gabe’s words haunted me.