After Forever Ends

At the time I really didn't understand what her problem was. Her rapid mood swings, her unca

Alexander was the one who took the biggest role with the parenting. In fact, it was Alexander who took the biggest role with everything. After she was let go from her job, Melissa didn’t work again. Alex would call me sometimes during the day and ask me if I’d pop in and check on her. I never asked him why because I knew he wouldn’t give me a straight answer, but I knew as well it was because he was worried. Not about her, but about Nigel. Every time I’d walk through the door, pretending to be friendly, she’d greet me with absolutely no emotion and let me enter. She’d head straight back to the sofa and return to watching whatever programme was on the tele without almost no further word to me. The house was always a disaster. Toys and food and empty dishes littered the tables and floor. Dirty clothes were everywhere, as were scattered baby bottles and tins. Bags of rubbish sat beside overflowing bins. Alexander was many things, but a lazy slob was not one of them. He'd never been afforded the luxury, not by his mother and certainly not by his school. Didn’t she do a thing? Even a simple, single thing?

There would be Nigel wading through it all, always smiling at me when he’d see me, ru

“Melissa,” I’d say on the days when I couldn’t stand it, after I’d pulled a clean nappy on to his bum, “Do you want me to take Nigel off your hands? I can give Xan a ring and have him pick him up on his way home. I‘m sure Ana would love to see him…”

“Sure,” She’d say with no interest, never looking away from the television screen, “Whatever.”

I wanted to bash her head. Here she had this lovely husband who’d do anything plus put up with her nonsense and a beautiful son, a roof over her head, and people who genuinely would have welcomed her into their family. With all of that, all she could do was sit and sulk and think of only herself.

So I’d take her son with me and bring him either to my house or to his grandmother’s where he’d be safe and paid proper attention to, at least for a couple of hours.

Whether it was due to boredom, narcissism, or to ease financial issues, Melissa eventually made a co

He came to the cabin one evening alone with Nigel. He seemed upset, but was obviously doing his best to hide it. Finally, after we'd had di

“What about your mum?” I knew where he was going, “Don't you think she'd want to keep him?”

Alex blinked, “My mum's getting on, yeah? She might do all right with him a day or two a week, I reckon, but I don't think she could keep up with him full time.”

I broke into a huge smile, “I'll do it then! I'll be Nigel's Na

Alexander's shoulder slumped as if an enormous weight had just come off his back. He let out a long breath and gri

“Don't be stupid,” I told him. “I'll do it for free.”

“No, I'll pay you.” He insisted.

“Whatever!” I was chuffed to buggery that he'd asked me, “I don't care!”

It was silly of him to think that I might have said no. I was as in love with Nigel as I was Carolena. The little man was so adorable, dark hair, dark eyes, dimpled smile. He’d take three steps, fall on his bum and laugh about it. He was a shrunken version of a drunk and happy Alex. I took him on immediately. It was a trick keeping him in line sometimes, but I learned quickly that the best thing to do with him was to make him a part of every little thing I did from changing Caro’s nappies to pulling weeds to making lunch. We got on with no problems.

Melissa didn’t work on Wednesdays, so on that day it was just me and Carolena. I'd take her shopping sometimes, but mostly we spent those days quietly, just her and I playing in the garden and waiting for her daddy to come home from work. That particular day we'd gone to the book shop in Newtown and I'd bought a book by Michio Kaku I was just dying to read. I was sitting with her in the glider, resting my chin against her cheek while she slept, turning pages with one hand when the phone rang. Thankfully, Caro was a heavy sleeper and didn’t stir as I lay her on the couch to answer.

“Hello?”

“Silvia!” It was Edmond. His voice was thick and hard, as if he'd swallowed a chunk of bread and was ignoring the pain it caused, “Do you have a key to Alexander’s flat?”

“Yes.”

“Get in your car and get over here right now!” It was command. There was no room for question or argument inside of it.

“Why? What’s wrong?” A horrible feeling spread through me. “Where are you?”

I could hear Ana in the background, her voice shrill with terror, “Does she have one? Oh! Thank God! Tell her to get here!”

“I'm standing in front of Alexander's flat. We just saw Melissa!” His voice was like ice, “She was in town without Nigel.”

“Where’s Nigel?” I remember staring at the screen saver on the computer. The words “Cymru Am Byth” danced about it, huge silver letters that had no meaning to me at that moment. The second I asked the question I knew the answer.

Somehow Eddie knew I knew it because he never answered me. Instead, he said, “I’d kick the door in, but I’m afraid I’ll hurt him! We can hear him! Ana’s talking to him through the window, but he’s going back and forth trying to let us in! He can’t unlatch the door! I’d call for a locksmith, but they might call the authorities and Alexander…”

“I’ll be right there! Keep him at the window!”

My heart pounded so hard I heard it in my ears. All the shit lying around that flat he might have gotten into flashed through my mind. Things he may have shoved into sockets, things he may have cut himself with or swallowed. He was alone in there! All alone!

“Oh, Nigel!” I sucked back my panic and my tears of stress and terror, “Nigel, be safe! I’m coming, Baby…be all right!”

I scooped up Carolena and tossed her into her car seat, more or less ignoring her as she protested. We were off in a blink. I didn't even bother putting on my shoes, but tossed them on to the front seat. I didn't even shoo Duncan from the car as he leapt in and made himself at home of top of them. I just got in and drove. I had never been so afraid in my entire life. I had never driven those paths so quickly. I literally caught air coming off some of the hills and refused to yield on the one way paths, instead laying on my horn and waving frantically for the other drivers to get out of my way. I'd never sped the way I did on the way into town. I watched the speedometer click over 140kph and still kept pressing down on the accelerator until I screamed to a stop at the garden gate.