After Forever Ends

The conversation ended quickly. People were gathering to listen to each other speak tributes to Lance. Alexander, Oliver, Lucy and I took seats in the second row of chairs with Merlyn and Pe

“…and I know my dad had loads of buds, too,” His daughter sniffed from the podium, “And some of his buds he’d kept since he was eleven years old. He told me a story about when his mum first brought him to Be

I watched the memory of that wash over Oliver and Alexander. They exchanged bittersweet smiles. Merlyn put a hand on each of their backs. I hadn’t known that story, but it didn’t surprise me that it had happened.

When his daughter was done speaking, his wife asked if there was anything anyone else wanted to say. Alexander looked at Oliver, but Oliver immediately choked up and shook his head. “I can’t,” He said in a harsh whisper, “You do it.”

“I’d like to say something,” Alex called out.

“Please do!” Lance’s wife, Daneen, smiled sincerely, “Hello! Thank you so much for coming! Are you Alexander or Oliver? I can never tell.”

“I’m Oliver.” He waited a second, “Just joking. I am Alex.”

She laughed. “You do that to me every time!”

Alexander stepped up behind the podium. “I’m Alexander Dickinson. That there’s my brother, Oliver, if you couldn’t tell.” He pointed to us, “And his wife, Silvia, in the green dress. The pretty lady in the blue dress is my wife, Lucy. The other bloke’s Merlyn Pierce. We’ve all known Lance since we were little kids,” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and then back again, “That’s a true story about what happened to Lance second day at Be

“It was one of those things you don’t plan, how we got to be friends with Lance. There were too many first year boys at Be

“Next morning Ollie and me were trying to sort the way to class and we heard some codswallop happening on the other side of the wall. So off we go to take a look and there’s some big meatball of a kid picking on the bloke we shared a room with. Ollie starts after him by himself, says, ‘Leave ‘em alone, you…’ mind, I better not use the word he did. Anyway, we marched right over and picked a fight. We were eleven and we saved Lance from a third year, we did. But we did more than that. We landed him in detention with us, second day!”

Everyone laughed again, even Oliver. Alexander paused, scratched his cheek and continued, “And it wasn’t the last time, either! We got Lance into all kinds of mischief. We had him rubbing soap on windows, turning off the hot water on people in the showers. Sneaking in and rearranging the furniture in Professor Wilkins private quarters in the middle of the night so he’d wake up and be all disoriented. That was interesting.”

Oliver high fived Merlyn. Another ripple of laughter swept the room.

“We got Lance’s mum called for nicking candy a couple of times,” Alexander continued, “Poor Lance might have been better off without the likes of us, but we loved him. I loved him like he was another brother.”

He drew a deep, shaking breath, “Lance Crosby shared a room with Oliver and me for seven school terms. He was there for my wedding to Lucy and came down when Ollie’s and my kids were born. He was our best mate. But Lance Crosby was really everyone’s mate. He didn’t have a temper, never said a mean word. He knew what it felt like to be the little guy literally, but he never tried to make himself look bigger by making anyone else feel small. Instead he’d sit up all night talking about your problems. He never mentioned his own. I never met a person who didn’t like Lance. You’d have to be mental not to. He was the best bloke I ever met…” Alexander trailed off, “I could stand here forever and never run out of nice things to say about him. But all I can think right now is how I’m supposed to ring him on Wednesday because I’ll be in Caernarfon and we were supposed to meet for a pint. I was looking forward to it.” I could see Alexander choking back his tears, “And I know I’m not the only one that’s hurting, so I’m trying not to be selfish about how much I already miss him or about what I’d do to be able to sit with him and have that pint. Any one of us here would do the same for just one more hour with Lance. My brother, he can’t even talk right now and if you know my brother, that’s a rare event. And it’s a shame, too, because I know Oliver’d have given a much better speech than I am.”

Alexander glanced at the casket, “But Ollie did say something that made a lot of sense. He said that to him, Lance Crosby was never small. To Oliver, he was always very, very big. I have to say that if you knew him at all, you knew that was true. For his immense sense of humour and his fierce kindness, for his infinite honesty and his unwavering friendship and the fact that he was always there when you needed him…always, always there,” Alex trailed off again. He hung his head for a moment and then spoke, “For those things and many more, Lance was the biggest man I’ve ever known. We’ve all suffered a blow I don’t reckon we’ll ever be able to measure,” He glanced again at the casket, “Lancelot, my old friend, you will always be loved and missed. You were never small. You were a giant in our lives, Boyo. And that’s how Ollie and I’ll always remember you. As a giant. God bless you, Lance Crosby, and grant you a journey of mercies, wrapped safely in an angel’s wings.”

Alexander was unable to contain himself. He walked off the platform and straight out of the building to our car where he broke down and sobbed. Oliver and Merlyn followed and sat with him in silence. Lucy, Pe

Lance’s wife asked us later if we would accompany them to the cemetery for a private burial that afternoon. “Lance loved you all so much. You were the brothers and sisters he never had. It would mean so much if you came with our daughter and me. You’re the only other family he has.”

We put our good friend, our brother, Lance Crosby, in the ground that day. None of us could quite leave him behind. When Daneen and her daughter had gone, all of us Be