Back to You

“Yeah, Robbie. Is Patrick Swayze go

Lauren smiled, her eyes going back to the TV. “Yes.”

“Thank God,” he said, looking back at the screen. “Soon?”

Lauren laughed. “Just watch.”

As he shifted on the bed, facing the screen again, Lauren glanced at him and smiled. “Why can’t you show everyone this side of you?”

He didn’t look at her, but she saw his brow pull together. “What side?”

Lauren licked her lips and looked down. She didn’t know how to answer that. She didn’t even know why she said it in the first place.

“I don’t know,” she finally said. “The side that clearly has a crush on Patrick Swayze?”

Without even looking in her direction, Michael shot his hand out and shoved her to the other side of the bed. He didn’t even need the element of surprise; she was so pathetically weak that she would have gone flying anyway, and she grabbed at air, nearly falling off the other side.

Michael leaned over at the last second, gripping the back of her shirt and yanking her back onto the bed.

Completely disoriented, she flew back toward him and collided into his side, her head landing on his chest and her hand splayed across his stomach to stop her fall. She froze there for a second, getting her bearings, and just as she was about to push away from him, she felt his arm come around her, holding her against his side.

Her breathing momentarily stopped, and when he pulled her a bit closer, her body began to relax against him without her mind’s permission.

His eyes were still on the television; she knew that from the way his chin rested on the top of her head. His body seemed totally at ease, totally content.

She turned her eyes to the television, trying to refocus on the movie, but she was not digesting a single word. She was too focused on the heat of him, which she could distinctly feel through his thin T-shirt, and the gentle thud of his heartbeat under her cheek. The smell of his soap or his detergent filled her nose, making her lightheaded in a way that had nothing to do with the flu.

“You’re go

“It’s cool,” he said, his eyes still on the screen as he began absently twirling the end of her ponytail. “It would be nice to miss school for something other than a suspension.”

Lauren smiled then, the last of the tension leaving her body as she fully rested against his chest with a sigh.

“You know what the best part of this is?” he asked.

“Hmm?”

“Your dad’s go

Lauren laughed, and she felt him tighten his arm around her for a second, hugging her into his side.

“See?” he said. “Isn’t this better than being at some stupid school dance?” And Lauren nodded silently against his chest.

It was definitely better.

Because she was with him.

.

November 2011

Michael closed his daughter’s door softly as he left her room, careful not to wake her. She was so exhausted that she’d fallen asleep halfway through her bedtime story, something she hadn’t done since she was a baby.orry I made you come get me when you were sick. si

He smiled sadly at the thought. He could remember those days with perfect clarity, as if it were just last night he was putting a cooing, writhing bundle down to sleep instead of a beautiful, intelligent little girl.

It was going too fast. He had the horrifying image of her declining a bedtime story one day, followed by one of her not being home at all for bedtime, spending the evening out with her friends, or worse, some boy.

He sat down with a sigh at the kitchen table, reaching toward the cell phone he’d left there earlier and spi

Michael stared down at the phone, contemplating what he suddenly had the urge to do. He hadn’t felt the need or the desire to call her for years, and he was pretty sure it was the image of Erin as a teenager that brought on the urge now; he didn’t know what he’d do with a teenage girl, but he knew it would be so important for her to have a female figure in her life. Someone she could talk to.

He licked his lips as he lifted the phone, hitting a button to wake it. His head screamed at him not to make the call. She wasn’t even a decent human being, so what would make him think she would ever be a suitable source of guidance and support for Erin?

The problem was he never knew if he was doing the right thing by keeping his mother out of Erin’s life. In his mind, it made perfect sense for him to do it, but throughout his life, he had screwed up so many things, on so many occasions, that he wasn’t sure he could trust his own judgment anymore. Granted, some of those times he purposefully made the wrong decision, chose a path he knew would be destructive. But then there were those times that he actually believed he had been doing the right thing, making the smart choice, and it still blew up in his face.

He couldn’t be sure which category this particular circumstance would fall into.

He swallowed slowly as he lifted the phone and scrolled through his contacts, choosing her number and hitting send before he could talk himself out of it. As the phone began to ring in his ear, he felt his heart speed in his chest, and he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

“Yeah?” a voice rasped into the phone after the third ring, and Michael opened his eyes.

“Hello?” the woman said after another second, her voice growing a bit louder with irritation.

He opened his mouth, but no words would come.

“Hello!” she nearly shouted. “Who the hell is this?”

Michael’s eyes fell closed again as the familiar slur rang out in that last sentence. Without opening them, he moved his thumb and hit the button to end the call.

He sat there for a second, staring at the table before he exhaled heavily and tossed the phone onto it with a soft thud. He pushed his chair back and stood, ru

When he was through, he wiped down all the counters. He straightened the living room. He put away Erin’s toys. Then he went into the bathroom and wiped it down with cleaner. And when that was done, and he had nothing else to clean or neaten, he found himself walking aimlessly around the house.

The feeling of restlessness in him was unsettling, and after a few minutes he finally willed himself to go sit on the couch and calm down. He didn’t understand why he felt so antsy. Sure, it was only nine o’clock { display: block; text-indent: 5%; font-size: 0.88rem; margin-top: “n the on a Saturday night, but he could hardly attribute it to that; Michael hadn’t been out on a Saturday night in years.

And suddenly, like a smack to the face, he understood why he was so edgy.

Lauren was out on her date tonight. It was the reason she had turned down his second di

He inhaled slowly through his nose as he lay back on the couch and closed his eyes, ru

As soon as he closed his eyes, he was assaulted with a memory of her, one that made him smile but at the same time caused his heart to clench.

It had been his junior year of high school; he was sitting in his living room, watching a football game, when there was a timid knock on his door.

He opened it, and the first thing he saw was her red nose, followed by her bloodshot eyes, and finally her tear-streaked face. He could remember the dichotomy of his emotions in that moment: the desire to pull her protectively into his arms battling against his i

“What happened?” he asked, trying to remain composed for her.