Back to You

“Well, apparently it is,” he said, nodding toward the open gate. “Go.”

She glanced at the empty park before looking back at him, and he stood there watching her, waiting.

“Okay,” she sighed, walking into the park, and she heard the gate clang shut behind them as he followed her.

“To the slide,” he said, and she walked around the swings to the left and stood beside it, turning to look at him. “Go ahead,” he added, motioning for her to climb it.

She looked at him like he was crazy, but he was watching her, his expression even.

“Um, okay?” she said stoically before she climbed the ladder and sat down at the top of the slide. “Why am I doing this again?”

“Because I asked you to. Go ahead.”

She shook her head before she pushed off the top and slid down to the bottom. As soon as her feet hit the floor, she looked up at him.

The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “No, that was horrible. Do it again.”

“Michael,” she said, a

“Yes. As soon as you go down again.”

Lauren pushed off the slide in a huff, and she heard him chuckle behind her as she climbed the slide again.

“Put your arms up this time. And say ‘wheee’ when you come down.”

“No,” she said as she positioned herself at the top of the slide.

“Just humor me, please,” he said, his smile gone. “This is serious.”

She stared at him for a second before she nodded. “Fine,” she said softly, and she pushed off the top and lifted her arms. “Wheee,” she deadpa

“My God, that was pathetic. Get over here,” he said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her off the slide.

“Is the point of this to make me look like an idiot?” she said as he dragged her away.

“No, that’s not the point, but it’s definitely a plus,” he said through his laughter, and she reached over and smacked him with her free hand.

“Here,” he said, backing her into one of the swings, and she grabbed the metal cI think we got a good thing go, lehains on either side as he came up behind her, gripping the chains just above her hands. And then he took several steps backward until she was as far back as the chains would allow.

Michael leaned forward so that his chest was pressed against the length of her back, and her breath caught in her throat. “Ready?” he said in her ear, and before she could respond, he shoved her forward with such force that she lost her stomach; Lauren squeezed her eyes shut as she gripped the chains tighter and curled her knees up to her torso.

As she swung back, she felt his hands on her lower back, cushioning her descent and sending her right back up, even higher than before. The cold wind whipped her hair around her face, and as her stomach dropped again, she laughed.

She careened back toward Michael and this time he caught her by the hips, gripping them firmly as he ran forward and gave her a vigorous push as he darted underneath her. Lauren flew up higher than she’d ever been on a swing set, and she screamed, followed by unbridled laughter.

“There ya go,” he said with a smile, walking back over to the swings and sitting on the one next to hers.

Lauren began pumping her legs, keeping herself going as her height gradually lessened, and she looked over at him and smiled.

“You feel better?” he asked.

“I do, actually.”

Michael pushed off with his feet, rocking gently in the swing. “Whenever I’m pissed off about something, I always think to myself, ‘What do I feel like doing right now?’ And then I go and do it, whatever it is. Screw everyone else, ya know?” He looked over at her with a smirk. “And just now, I felt like coming here.”

“Well, I guess that’s better than kicking someone’s ass.”

“Hmm. That’s debatable. It depends on whose ass I’m kicking.”

Lauren laughed and shook her head as she pumped her legs, making the swing go a little faster.

“See, Red? When life hands you lemons, you know what you gotta do now.”

“Wow,” Lauren said. “Yes, Mr. Cliché, I know what I have to do. I make lemonade.”

“No,” he said. “You scream, ‘Fuck you, lemons!’”

Lauren whipped her head toward Michael, her eyes wide, and she quickly sca

“God,” she said with a horrified laugh.

“And then you throw those goddamn lemons into oncoming traffic, and you go do what you want to do.”

She tried not to laugh, but it was pointless, and as soon as she broke, he laughed along with her. She turned to look at him sitting on the swings next to her, rolling from the balls of his feet to the heels as he rocked himself in the swing.

Lauren wondered if she’d ever stop being floored by these moments. It was almost surreal. He’d been suspended three times in the four months they’d been friends, and two of those were for fighting on school grounds. She’d seen the way others looked at him, the way they avoided him, and she’d seen the way he carried himself around those people. The look in his eyes changed, his posture changed. It was like he was actually someone else.

And it was so strange, because the truth of it was, the infamous Del was just Michael to her, the boy who was quickly becoming her best friend in the world { display: block; text-indent: 0%; leasha.

And that weekend, as Lauren stood at the edge of the mat chalking her hands, her eye was drawn to the stands, where one spectator stuck out like a sore thumb.

He sat on the highest bench, a sharp contrast to the adults sitting demurely in the rows before him, with his backward baseball hat, his overly casual posture, and his arm draped over the back of the bleachers as he absently drummed his fingers against the wood.

All her breath left her in a rush, and she shook her head slightly in disbelief.

His eyes were sca

And when he winked at her, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that from that moment on, she would do anything for him.

She turned then, walking to the other side of the mat as she got ready to make her run, her adrenalin racing because she knew he was watching.

And she couldn’t help but smile at the irony of the fact that the baddest boy in school could somehow always make her feel like the world was good.

.

October 2011

Lauren couldn’t concentrate to save her life.

She sat in the back of her Psychological Defense Mechanisms class, her pen poised on her notebook as if she was getting ready to write, but her mind was a million miles away.

Actually, her mind was just a few miles away, back at Adam’s office.

Earlier that afternoon, he had suggested a more aggressive stretching routine to counteract the core exercises she was now doing. Lauren had laid on her back as Adam took her leg and lifted it straight up, slowly but surely pushing it closer to her chest, all the while explaining to her how certain hamstring stretches actually release the lower back rather than the legs. As she grew more comfortable, he leaned over and pressed the front of his shoulder to the back of her leg, using some of his body weight to increase the intensity of the stretch.

And that was the moment Lauren’s mind kept going back to: looking up at him as he leaned over her.

With her leg propped up on his shoulder.

“…Can be found in chapter six of your textbooks. These two are most commonly confused, and can often exist simultaneously in a person’s psyche,” Lauren heard her professor say as he gestured toward the screen behind him, and she blinked quickly, snapping out of it as she sat up a bit straighter in an attempt to regain her focus.