Back to You

And he laughed as she dragged him toward the exit, because he was just as excited as she was.

Lauren and Michael sat at a booth with two substandard salads on the table between them, surrounded by the sounds of bells ringing and children yelling and laughing. Erin remained in Michael’s line of sight, just as she promised, ru

“Sorry about this,” Michael said, gesturing toward the salads. “We didn’t have to come here.”

“That’s okay,” she said before she turned to look at Erin. “She’s having fun. She’ll sleep great tonight,” she added with a laugh, and Michael smiled.

“How long have you been teaching preschool?”

“About two months.”

Michael raised his eyebrows, and she nodded. “Yeah. My first day was Erin’s first day.”

“No shit?” he said, immediately cupping his hand over his mouth as he looked around.

Lauren tried not to laugh, and Michael looked down at his salad and chuckled. “So what were you doing before that? Were you in school?”

“No, I was still teaching,” Lauren said. “Except I taught kindergarten. I’m working at the day care now while I get my master’s degree.”

“Oh yeah? What are you going for?” Michael asked.

“Child psychology.”

Michael looked up at her, and she glanced at him before she cleared her throat and rooted through her salad.

“So, what do you do?” she asked.

“I work construction.”

“Oh, that’s right. A bin knocker.”

Michael smiled. “A tin knocker.”

She glanced up at him with an embarrassed laugh. “Clearly, I have no idea what that is.”

He flicked a piece of wilted lettuce with his fork as he laughed. “I fabricate and install ductwork in the heating and cooling systems of buildings.”

“Oh,” she said. “That sounds…difficult.”

“Nah,” he said with a dismissive shake of his head. “It pays the bills though, for now. I’m going back to school part time.”

Lauren looked up at him and smiled, and he swallowed hard as his stomach flipped. It wasn’t the strained, polite smile she’d been giving him for the past two months. It was his favorite smile.

The same proud smile she wore in the graduation picture.

“Good for you,” she said. “What are you going for?”

“Mechanical engineering,” he said, looking away and hoping she couldn’t see how thrown he was by her reaction.

“Here you go,” the waitress said as she brought the pizza to the table, and Erin came ru

“I’m hungry,” she said, hopping up onto the bench next to Lauren, who scooted over with a smile.

“Hold on, honey, let’s clean your hands first.”

Michael watched as Lauren reache a little tighter around herselfyn the d in her purse for a sanitizing wipe and gently cleaned Erin’s hands.

The heavy ache settled in his chest again, and he distracted himself by handing out slices of pizza to everyone.

“Yummy!” Erin said as she chewed her first bite, and Michael looked down at the second-rate pizza on his plate, complete with goopy red sauce and orange cheese.

“Yeah, yummy,” he deadpa

Michael picked up his pizza and took a bite, and when he lifted his eyes, he froze. Lauren was watching him, and her eyes were glassy with what looked like unshed tears.

“You okay?” he asked.

“You still do that,” she said with a sad smile.

Michael pulled his brow together and looked down at himself.

He was holding the slice backward, completely intact except for the large bite he had taken out of the crust.

He blinked before he looked back up at her, but she had already turned her attention to Erin.

“How’s your pizza?”

“Good,” Erin mumbled around a large mouthful of food, and Lauren laughed, sliding Erin’s drink closer to her. She grabbed it with both hands, taking a long sip through the straw.

“Are you somebody’s mommy?” she asked after she had swallowed.

“No, I’m not,” Lauren answered.

“How come?”

“Erin,” Michael said firmly.

“No, it’s okay,” said Lauren before she turned back to Erin. “Because I haven’t met someone who would be a good daddy yet. When I find someone who I think will be a good daddy, then I’ll be ready to be a mommy.”

“My daddy’s a good daddy,” she said, and Michael choked on the sip of soda he’d just taken, covering his mouth to mask the coughing.

“Well you’re a lucky girl,” she answered without missing a beat.

“You’ll be a good mommy,” Erin stated matter-of-factly, and Lauren rubbed her hand over Erin’s hair.

“Thank you.”

“My mommy lives far away.”

Michael looked up just in time to see Lauren’s eyes flash to his, her expression startled.

“But she still loves me a lot. Daddy, can I go back and play some more?”

Michael cleared his throat. “Um…yeah. Go ahead, baby.” Before he even finished his sentence, Erin was out of the booth and ru

“God, I’m so sorry about that,” Michael exhaled.

“It’s fine,” she said. “I’ve spent the past three years working with five-year-olds. Her line of questioning was mild by comparison.”

Michael laughed softly, tossing his pizza to his plate. “God, this is awful.”

“Yeah, I’ve had better,” she said with a laugh before she turned to look at Erin. “Look at her,” she smiled. “Have you thought about enrolling her in gymnastics?”

Michael looked over to where Erin was attempting cartwheels with another little girl in the play area.

“I haven’t. I don’t know of any places around here. And besides, she’s a Delaney no matter how many times, le, so I didn’t think gymnastics would be in the cards for her.”

Lauren put her drink down abruptly, covering her mouth to avoid spitting all over the table, and Michael gri

“Of course I remember,” she said through her laughter. “That was one of the fu

“Hey!” he said in mock offense. “I had never done anything remotely gymnastics related, and you expected me to be able to just do a backflip!”

“It wasn’t a backflip,” she scoffed. “It was a back handspring. Much easier. You get to use your hands for that.”

“Still,” he laughed. “And anyway, I think maybe I could have learned how to do it if my instructor hadn’t been laughing and making fun of me the whole time.”

Lauren laughed again, staring at her straw as she twirled it between her fingers. She inhaled deeply, and when she exhaled, her face changed; her smile dropped and she pulled her brow together.

No, Michael thought. No, don’t go backward.

Lauren shifted in her seat and cleared her throat. “I’m go

Michael dropped his head against the back of the booth and closed his eyes.

In that moment, for just a split second, she had been the Lauren he left behind all those years ago. And although he had no right to expect that version of her, he still felt cheated when she retreated back to her guarded self.

When he watched her with Erin, he could see the real her: the kindness, the humor, the tenderness.

But the second she turned to look at him, the slight veil would shade her eyes, and the invisible wall would go up.

It could have been worse; he recognized that. She didn’t have to be as nice as she was being to him. She could have berated him, castigated him, told him exactly what she thought of him and exactly where he could go.