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seminar which he “forgot” to mention. Five minutes later, Lucinda tells you about a lace
workshop in Nottinghamshire. But she was in Fulham two hours earlier. Fulham to
Nottinghamshire? In the rush hour? That’s not real. My guess is it’s an alibi.”
The word alibi makes me feel a bit cold.
“Two days later, Magnus texts you, canceling your lunch date. A moment later, Lucinda
emails you, telling you she’s frantically busy till two p.m. She doesn’t give you any other reason
for emailing. Why would she need to let you know that she’s frantically busy over some random
lunchtime?”
He looks up, waiting for a reply. Like I’ll have one.
“I … I don’t know,” I say at last. “I don’t know.”
As Sam continues, I knead my eyes briefly with my fists. I get why Vicks does this now.
It’s to block the world out, for just a second. Why didn’t I see this? Why didn’t I see any of this?
Magnus and Lucinda. It’s like a bad joke. One of them’s supposed be organizing my
wedding. The other’s supposed to be in my wedding. To me.
But wait. My head jerks with a thought. Who sent me the anonymous text? Sam’s theory
can’t be right, because someone must have sent that. It wouldn’t have been any of Magnus’s
friends, and I don’t know any of Lucinda’s friends, so who on earth …
“Remember when Magnus told you he had to counsel some PhD student? And Lucinda
pulled out of your drinks meeting? She sent Clemency along instead? If you look at the timings
…”
Sam’s still talking, but I can barely hear him. My heart has constricted. Of course.
Clemency.
Clemency.
Clemency is dyslexic. She would have spelled fiancé wrong. She would have been too
terrified of Lucinda to give her name. But she would have wanted me to know. If there was
something to know.
My fingers are shaking as I grab my phone and find the text again. Now that I read it
over, I can hear the words in Clemency’s sweet, anxious voice. It feels like her. It sounds like
her.
Clemency wouldn’t invent something like that. She must believe it’s true. She must have
seen something … heard something …
I sag back against the car seat. My limbs are aching. I feel parched and worn out and a
little like I want to cry.
“Anyway.” Sam seems to realize I’ve stopped listening. “I mean, it’s a theory, that’s all.”
He folds the paper up and I take it.
“Thanks. Thanks for doing that.”
“I … ” He shrugs, a bit awkward. “Like I said. It’s my thing.”
For a while we’re both silent, although it feels like we’re still communicating. I feel as
though our thoughts are circling above our heads, interweaving, looping, meeting for a moment,
then diverging again. Him on his path, me on mine.
“So.” I exhale at last. “I should let you go. It’s late. Thanks for—”
“No,” he interrupts. “Don’t be ridiculous. Thank you.”
I nod simply. I think both of us are probably too drained to get into long speeches.
“It’s been … ”
“Yes.”
I look up and make the mistake of catching his eye, silvered in the light from the
streetlamp. And just for a moment I’m transported—
No. Don’t, Poppy. It never happened. Don’t think about it. Blank it.
“So. Um.” I reach for the door handle, trying to force myself into reality, into rationality.
“I still need to give you this phone back—”
“You know what? Have it, Poppy. It’s yours.” He clasps my fingers over it and holds
them tight for a moment. “You earned it. And please don’t bother to forward anything else. As
from tomorrow all my emails will go to my new PA. Your work here is done.”
“Well, thanks!” I open the door—then on impulse turn around. “Sam … I hope you’re
OK.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” He flashes his wonder smile, and I suddenly feel
like hugging him tight. He’s about to lose his job and he can still smile like that. “I hope you’re
OK,” he adds. “I’m sorry about … it all.”
“Oh, I’ll be OK!” I give a brittle laugh, even though I have no idea what I mean by this.
My husband-to-be is possibly shagging my wedding pla
The driver clears his throat, and I start. It’s the middle of the night. I’m sitting in a car on
the street. Come on, Poppy. Get with it. Move. The conversation has to end.
So, even though it’s the last thing I feel like doing, I force myself to get out, bang the
door shut, and call, “Good night!” I head to my front door and open it, because I know
instinctively that Sam won’t drive away till he’s seen I’m safely in. Then I stand on the doorstep,
watching his car drive away.
As it rounds the corner, I check my phone, half-hoping, half-expecting …
But it’s dark and silent. It remains dark and silent. And for the first time in a long while, I
feel utterly alone.
81 OK, he won’t get. I know.
82 Not such a huge range, then.
83 Magnus is doing it with Professor Wilson? No. Surely not. She has a beard.
84 And, by the way, in what sense have I appeared in her life?
85 And we’re not exactly starting from a high bar.
86 I think it can. It’s all in the timing.
87 Another one for Antony. Not.
13
It’s in every single paper the next morning. Front-page news. I headed out to the
newsagents as soon as I was up and bought every newspaper they had.
There are pictures of Sir Nicholas, pictures of the prime minister, pictures of Sam,
pictures of Ed Exton, even a picture of Vicks in the Mail. The headlines are full of corruption
and smear attempt and integrity. The memo is printed in full, everywhere, and there’s an official
quote from Number 10 about Sir Nicholas considering his position on the government
committee. There are even two different cartoons of Sir Nicholas holding bags labeled Happiness
and stuffed full of money.
But Sam was right: There’s an air of confusion about it. Some journalists obviously think
Sir Nicholas did write the memo. Others obviously think he didn’t. One paper has run an
editorial about how Sir Nicholas is an arrogant bighead and of course he’s been taking bribes all
along; another has written that Sir Nicholas is known for his quiet integrity and it couldn’t
possibly be him. If Sam wanted to throw up a question mark over everything, he’s definitely
succeeded.
I texted him this morning:
You OK?
But I got no reply. I guess he’s busy. To say the least.
Meanwhile, I feel like a wreck. It took me hours to get to sleep last night, I was so
wired—but then I woke at six and sat bolt upright, already grabbing for my phone, my heart
racing. Magnus had texted four words:
Having great time. M xxx
Having a great time. What does that tell me? Nothing.
He could be having a great time congratulating himself on how I have no idea about his
secret mistress. There again, he could be having a great time i
of faithful monogamy, with no idea that Clemency somehow got the wrong end of the stick
about him and Lucinda.88 Or possibly he could be having a great time deciding that he’s never
going to be unfaithful again and regrets it hugely and will confess everything to me as soon as he