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the paperwork done… .”

         She’s ushering me to the sole chair, marooned in the middle of the floor, while she and

A

This is horrible. Everything’s suddenly turned. It’s them against me.

         “Are you going to fire me?” I feel ridiculously panicked.

         “No! Of course not!” Ruby is unscrewing her pen. “Don’t be silly!”

         “We might,” says A

         She’s obviously loving her role as chief henchwoman. I know what this is all about. It’s

because I got Magnus and she didn’t.

         Here’s the thing. A

a girl. If you’d said to anyone last year, “Which of these three will land a guy and be engaged by

next summer?” they’d have said immediately, “A

         So I can understand her point of view. She must look in the mirror and see herself (Greek

goddess) and then see me (lanky legs, dark hair; best feature—long eyelashes) and think: WTF?

         Plus, as I said, Magnus was originally booked with her. And at the last minute we

switched appointments. Which is not my fault.

         “So.” Ruby looks up from her foolscap pad. “Let’s run over the facts, Miss Wyatt. On

December fifteenth last year, you treated a Mr. Magnus Tavish here at the clinic.”

         “Yes.”

         For what form of injury?”

         “A sprained wrist sustained while skiing.”

         “And during this appointment, did he show any … inappropriate interest in you? Or you

in him?”

        I cast my mind back to that first instant Magnus walked into my room. He was wearing a

long gray tweed coat, and his tawny hair was glistening with rain and his face was flushed from

walking. He was ten minutes late, and he immediately rushed over, clasped both my hands, and

said, “I’m most terribly sorry,” in this lovely, well-educated voice.

        “I … er … no,” I say defensively. “It was just a standard appointment.”

        Even as I say this, I know it’s not true. In standard appointments, your heart doesn’t start

to pound as you take the patient’s arm. The hairs on the back of your neck don’t rise. You don’t

hold on to his hand very slightly longer than you need to.

        Not that I can say any of this. I really would be fired.

        “I treated the patient over the course of a number of appointments.” I try to sound calm

and professional. “By the time we realized our affection for each other, his treatment was over. It

was therefore totally ethical.”

        “He told me it was love at first sight!” shoots back A

He told me you were instantly attracted to each other and he wanted to ravish you right there on

the couch. He said he’d never known anything so sexy as you in your uniform.”

        I’m going to shoot Magnus. What did he have to say that for?

        “Objection!” I glower at her. “That evidence was procured while under the influence of

alcohol and in a nonprofessional capacity. It therefore ca

        “Yes, it can! And you are under oath!” She jabs a finger at me.

        “Objection sustained,” Ruby interrupts, and looks up from writing, a distant, wistful look

in her eyes. “Was it really love at first sight?” She leans forward, her great big uniformed bosom

bulging everywhere. “Did you know?”

        I close my eyes and try to visualize that day. I’m not sure what I knew, except I wanted to

ravish him on the couch too.

        “Yes,” I say at last. “I think so.”

        “It’s so romantic.” Ruby sighs.

        “And wrong!” A





you should have said, ‘Sir, this is inappropriate behavior. I would like this session to end and for

you to transfer to another therapist.’ ”

        “Oh, another therapist!” I can’t help a short laugh. “Like you, by any chance?”

        “Maybe! Why not?”

        “And what if he’d shown interest in you?”

        She lifts her chin proudly. “I would have handled it without compromising my ethical

principles.”

        “I was ethical!” I say in outrage. “I was totally ethical!”

        “Oh yes?” She narrows her eyes like a prosecuting barrister. “What led you to suggest

exchanging appointments with me in the first place, Miss Wyatt? Had you in fact already

Googled him and decided you wanted him for yourself?”

        Aren’t we over this?

        “A

who he was! So if you feel like you missed out, tough luck. Don’t swap next time!”

        For a moment, A

        “I know,” she bursts out at last, and bangs a fist to her forehead. “I know! I was so stupid.

Why did I swap?”

        “So what?” cuts in Ruby firmly. “A

for you, he was meant for Poppy. So what does it matter?”

         A

         “It’s not fair,” she mutters at last. “Do you know how many bankers I’ve massaged at the

London Marathon? Do you know how much effort I’ve made?”

         A

on telly and realized it was stuffed full of fit, motivated guys in their forties, who were probably

single because all they did was go ru

salary they must be on.

         So she’s been volunteering as an emergency physiotherapist every year since. She makes

a beeline for all the attractive men and works their calf muscles or whatever, while fixing them

with her huge blue eyes and telling them she’s always supported that charity too.26

         To be fair, she’s got lots of dates out of it—one guy even took her to Paris—but nothing

long-term or serious, which is what she wants. What she won’t admit, of course, is that she’s

extremely picky. She pretends that she wants a “really nice, straightforward guy with good

values,” but she’s had several of those desperately in love with her and she dumped them, even

the really good-looking actor (his stage play ended and he had no other work coming up). What

she’s really after is a guy who looks like he’s out of a Gillette commercial, with a massive salary

and/or a title. Preferably both. I think that’s why she’s so mad about losing Magnus, since he’s

Dr. She once asked me if he would become Professor one day and I said probably yes, and she

went a kind of green.

         Ruby scribbles something else down, then screws her pen lid on. “Well, I think we’ve

covered the facts. Well done, everyone.”

         “Aren’t you going to give her a warning or something?” A

         “Oh, fair point.” Ruby nods, then clears her throat. “Poppy, don’t do it again.”

         “OK.” I shrug.

         “I’ll put that in writing, show it to the inspector; that’ll shut him up. By the way, did I tell

you I’ve found the perfect strapless bra to go under my bridesmaid’s dress?” Ruby beams at me,

back to her usual cheery self. “Aquamarine satin. It’s lush.”

         “Sounds amazing!” I get up and reach for the Costa coffee tray. “Is one of these for me?”

         “I got you a flat white,” says A