Eleanor & Park

In their old house, Ben wouldn’t even go down to the basement to put clothes in the wash –

and that basement had at least been dry and mostly finished. Ben was scared of mice and bats and spiders and anything that started moving when the lights went out. Richie had already yelled at him, twice, for trying to sleep at the top of the stairs.

The pineapple came with a letter from their uncle and his wife. Eleanor’s mom read it first, and it made her get all teary. ‘Oh, Eleanor,’ she said excitedly, ‘Geoff wants you to come up for the summer. He says there’s a program at his university, a camp for gifted high school students

…’

Before Eleanor could even think about what that meant – St Paul, a camp where nobody knew her, where nobody was Park – Richie was shoot-ing it down.

‘You can’t send her up to Mi

‘My brother’s there.’

‘What does he know about teenage girls?’

‘You know I lived with him in high school.’

‘Yeah, and he let you get pregnant …’

Ben was lying solidly on top of the pineapple box, and Maisie was kicking him in the back.

They were both shouting.

‘It’s just a fucking box,’ Richie yelled. ‘If I knew that you wanted boxes for Christmas, I would have saved myself some money.’

That silenced everyone. Nobody had expected Richie to buy Christmas presents. ‘I should make you wait until Christmas morning,’ he said,

‘but I’m sick of watching this.’

He put his cigarette in his mouth and put his boots on. They heard the truck door open, and then Richie was back with a big ShopKo bag. He started throwing boxes onto the floor.

‘Mouse,’ he said. A remote-control monster truck.

‘Ben.’ A big racetrack.

‘Maisie … cause you like to sing.’ Richie pulled out a keyboard, an actual electronic keyboard. It was probably some off-brand, but still.

He didn’t drop it on the floor. He handed it to Maisie.

‘And Little Richie … where’s Little Richie?’

‘He’s taking a nap,’ their mom said.

Richie shrugged and threw a teddy bear onto the floor. The bag was empty, and Eleanor felt cold with relief.

Then Richie took out his wallet and pulled out a bill.

‘Here, Eleanor, come get it. Buy yourself some normal clothes.’

She looked at her mother, standing blank-faced in the kitchen doorway, then walked over to take the money. It was a fifty.

‘Thank you.’ Eleanor said it as flatly as possible. Then she went to sit on the couch. The little kids were all opening their presents.

‘Thanks, Dad,’ Mouse kept saying. ‘Oh man, thanks, Dad!’

‘Yeah,’ Richie said, ‘you’re welcome. You’re welcome. That’s a real Christmas.’

Richie stayed home all day to watch the little kids play with their toys. Maybe the Broken Rail wasn’t open on Christmas Eve. Eleanor went to her bedroom to get away from him. (And to get away from Maisie’s new keyboard.) She was tired of missing Park. She just wanted to see him. Even if he did think she was a perverted psychopath who wrote herself badly punctuated threats. Even if he had spent his formative years tongue-kissing Tina. None of it was vile enough to make Eleanor stop wanting him. (How vile would that have to be? she wondered.)

Maybe she should just go over to his house right now and pretend that nothing had happened.

Maybe she would, if it wasn’t Christmas Eve.

Why didn’t Jesus ever work with her?

Later, her mom came in to say they were going to the store to buy groceries for Christmas di

‘I’ll come out and watch the kids,’ Eleanor said.

‘Richie wants us all to go,’ her mom said, smiling, ‘as a family.’

‘But, Mom …’

‘None of this, Eleanor,’ she said softly,

‘we’re having a good day.’

‘Mom, come on – he’s been drinking all day.’

Her mom shook her head. ‘Richie’s fine, he never has a problem with driving.’

‘I don’t think the fact that he drinks and drives all the time is a very good argument.’

‘You just can’t stand this, can you?’ her mom said quietly, angrily, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind her.

‘Look,’ she said, ‘I know that you’re going through …’ She looked at Eleanor, then shook her head again. ‘ Something. But everyone else in this house is having a great day. Everyone else in this house deserves a great day.

‘We’re a family, Eleanor. All of us. Richie, too. And I’m sorry that makes you so unhappy.

I’m sorry that things aren’t perfect here all the time for you … But this is our life now. You can’t keep throwing tantrums about it, you can’t keep trying to undermine this family – I won’t let you.’

Eleanor clenched her jaw.

‘I have to think of everyone,’ her mom said.

‘Do you understand? I have to think of myself. In a few years, you’ll be on your own, but Richie is my husband.’

She almost sounded sane, Eleanor thought. If you didn’t know that she was acting rational on the far side of crazy.

‘Get up,’ her mother said, ‘and put on your coat.’

Eleanor put on her coat and her new hat and followed her brothers and sisters into the back of the Isuzu.

When they got to Food 4 Less, Richie waited in the truck while everybody else went in. As soon as they were inside, Eleanor put the wadded-up fifty in her mother’s hand.

Her mother didn’t thank her. Park

They were shopping for Christmas di

‘What kind of stuffing Grandma like?’ his mom asked.

‘Pepperidge Farm,’ Park said, standing on the back of the cart and popping a wheelie.

‘Pepperidge Farm original? Or Pepperidge Farm cornbread?’

‘I don’t know, original.’

‘If you don’t know, don’t tell me … Look,’

she said, looking over his shoulder. ‘There’s your Eleanor.’

El-la-no.

Park whipped around and saw Eleanor standing by the meat case with all four of her redheaded brothers and sisters. (Except none of them had red hair standing next to Eleanor. Nobody did.)

A woman walked up to the cart and set down a turkey.

That must be Eleanor’s mom, Park thought, she looked just like her. But sharper and with more shadows. Like Eleanor, but taller. Like Eleanor, but tired. Like Eleanor, after the fall.

Park’s mom was staring at them, too.

‘Mom, come on,’ Park whispered.

‘Aren’t you going to say hi?’ she asked.

Park shook his head, but didn’t turn away. He didn’t think Eleanor would want him to, and even if she did, he didn’t want to get her in trouble.

What if her stepdad was here, too?

Eleanor looked different, drabber than usual.

There was nothing hanging from her hair or magpie-tied to her wrists …

She still looked beautiful. His eyes missed her as much as the rest of him. He wanted to run to her and tell her – tell her how sorry he was and how much he needed her.

She didn’t see him.

‘Mom,’ he whispered again, ‘come on.’

Park thought his mom might say something more about it in the car, but she was quiet. When they got home, she said she was tired. She asked Park to bring in the groceries, then she spent the rest of the afternoon in her room with the door closed.

His dad went in to check on her at di

When they got home, Park went straight to his room. He just wanted to be alone to think about seeing Eleanor – but his mom came in a few minutes later. She sat on his bed without making a single wave.

She held out a Christmas present. ‘This … is for your Eleanor,’ she said. ‘From me.’