You Against Me

‘You called Gillian then?’

‘I wasn’t going to sit around waiting to see what happened next.’

‘Yeah, well, thanks for that.’

‘I’ve got a daughter here who needs me, Mikey. I told you that last night.’

I need you too, he thought, but he didn’t say it out loud. He’d brought this on himself and now he had to take it.

‘So, what’s the news?’

‘Gillian said it’s good we told her, and she phoned the detectives in charge of Karyn’s case and let them know.’

‘And what did they say?’

‘They’re going to go round and pick your friend up.’

A pulse banged in Mikey’s head. ‘Round where?’

‘I don’t know – her house, I suppose.’

‘She won’t be there, she’ll be at school.’

‘Well then, I expect they’ll go there.’

‘You can’t send cops round the school!’

‘For goodness’ sake, Mikey, they only want to talk to her. It won’t hurt her to tell the truth, will it?’

He cut her off, didn’t want to hear any more. He turned to Jacko. ‘I need the car.’

‘No way.’

‘You owe me.’

‘I don’t.’

‘Come on, man, you heard that. You’ve got to help.’

Jacko got out his tobacco and strapped a rollie together, slowly, deliberately, as if time was something there was a lot of. Mikey tried to hold his anger down, knew he didn’t stand a chance of the car if he pushed too hard.

Jacko said, ‘Why do you like her so much?’

‘I don’t know, I just do.’

‘Very descriptive.’

Mikey kicked the wall with his foot, scuffing up sand. ‘What do you want me to say?’

‘I want you to say why you like her.’

Jacko seriously wanted him humiliated, that was obvious. It was going against every rule, every part of the male code. But it was worth it for the car keys.

‘I can’t help it, it’s as simple as that. I can’t do anything to stop it.’ He took a breath. ‘Like you can’t help being addicted to your car.’

Jacko frowned. ‘She’s like a car?’

‘No, man. She’s – I du

‘Like a car?’

‘Stop taking the piss.’ He sat on the bench and looked Jacko in the eye. ‘When I was growing up, I had this fantasy of a perfect girl. She never really had a face, but she had a great body and she liked everything about me.’ He felt himself flush, but knew it was important to carry on. ‘When I first saw Ellie, I knew it was her – she was my fantasy. I didn’t want it to be true, but every time I met her it was obvious, and the fu

Jacko blew smoke out in a long thin line towards the harbour. ‘Like what?’

He listed them on his fingers. ‘She makes me laugh, she knows stuff, she listens. She surprises me, you know – like, she can be calm one minute, then totally out there the next? What else? She’s drop‑dead gorgeous, she’s a mystery. I du

Jacko’s eyes softened slightly, and Mikey dared to carry on.

‘I thought I could keep away from her, but I couldn’t. Whenever I wasn’t with her, I’d think about her. I tried fancying other girls, and couldn’t. I mean, I’d literally walk down the street and try and imagine other girls naked and it didn’t do it for me, I didn’t want them. And when I thought Ellie set me up for a kicking and when I didn’t see her for ages and thought she didn’t care, I went nuts. I didn’t want to get up, or go to work or anything, and I’m sorry about that, mate, I can see how crap it was for you, but I was terrified I’d never see her again. I like her that much.’

There, he’d said it out loud and Jacko could think what he wanted. But instead of yelling at him, or taking the piss, Jacko gri

‘What?’

‘That’s the first time you’ve told me the truth in weeks.’ He reached into his pocket and pulled out the car keys. ‘Here. Don’t scratch it and don’t say I never do anything for you.’ Their fingers touched; Jacko didn’t let go of the keys. ‘I’m here for you, man. I’ve always been here for you, it’s just you stopped knowing it.’

Mikey threw an arm round him and gave him a thump on the back. It was exactly the right thing to do, he could tell by Jacko’s smile. ‘Tell Dex I’m sorry.’

‘You’re going to have to do that yourself.’ Jacko nodded towards the entrance to the car park, where Dex was striding over. He looked weird outside, with his apron flapping in the wind.

‘You need to come back inside,’ he called. ‘Both of you, now. Sue’s on the warpath.’

Mikey couldn’t look at him as he got close. He took off his own apron and passed it to Jacko, put the keys in his pocket.

‘The car’s round the back,’ Jacko said, ‘in the yard.’

Dex put his hands on his hips. The disappointment in his eyes was horrible. ‘Where are you going, Mikey?’

‘I’m really sorry.’

‘If you leave again, I can’t help you.’

‘I know.’

‘It’s urgent,’ Jacko said. ‘I’ll cover for him. You won’t even notice he’s gone.’

‘No,’ Dex said. ‘If he goes now, that’s it, there’s nothing I can do.’

He had a wooden spoon in his hand, some kind of paste clinging to it in a sticky lump. And, weirdly, it was the spoon that was hard to turn away from.

Forty

It was crazy, Mikey thought, the things your body could do when you didn’t want it to. The heat spreading from chest to face to eyes, blood racing, the mad adrenalin surge. Even his voice became hoarse and faltering as he saw Ellie through the school fence and called her over.

She frowned at him like maybe it was a trick, then picked up her bag and walked towards him. Just looking at her hurt.

She said, ‘Aren’t you supposed to be at work?’

‘I bunked it. I had to speak to you.’

‘Is everything OK?’

‘I tried calling. I sent you loads of texts.’

‘My dad took my phone.’ She laced her fingers through the metal loops of the fence. She looked ashamed. He hated her family for that. None of this was her fault.

‘Can you get out?’

‘The bell’s gone and I’ve got a Maths revision class.’

‘It’s important. Just for a few minutes?’

‘I don’t know.’ She glanced around at the kids retreating back into school, at the teacher at the gate herding stragglers in. ‘I’m trying not to get into any more trouble.’

He felt suddenly knackered. All these kids walking across the playground and back into school; soon they’d be whispering about this, nudging each other, laughing at Ellie. He felt the aching sadness of that.

‘Five minutes, Ellie, please. Come and sit by the river with me. Ten minutes max, I promise.’

‘You’re going to hate me when you know what a coward I was last night.’

‘I told you yesterday, I’ll never hate you.’

She smiled. ‘You always make me feel better, you know that?’

She walked to the gate, and he followed along the pavement on his side of the fence. A woman walked past with a baby twisting in her arms. Somewhere a bird sang. Everyday things. There was a teacher at the entrance, ‘Come on, come on,’ he yelled as the last few kids made it through. ‘Move yourselves, or you’re going to be late.’

Mikey shivered. He hated all this – the rules, the adults bellowing, timetables and places to be. It narrowed everything down.

Ellie tried to sidle past the guy, but he stuck his arm out, blocking her way. ‘Wrong direction.’

‘It’s important,’ Ellie said. ‘And my tutor said it was OK.’

He frowned down at her. ‘Do you have a permission slip?’

‘He forgot to give me one.’

‘Then turn round, please, and go straight to class.’

Ellie folded her arms. ‘There are urgent and personal reasons why I need to leave and my tutor is fully aware of them. I’m sixteen, so it’s not statutory that I remain on site and I believe you may be contravening my human rights by not allowing me out.’