You Against Me

‘Make me.’

She shoved him, but he pushed her back harder and glared at her.

‘So, let me get this right,’ she hissed. ‘He came round here to defend his sister, and here you are threatening yours! And you think he’s the one with the problem?’

He crumpled then. It happened in slow motion. His shoulders sagged first, and then the light went out of his eyes. He looked like he suddenly couldn’t remember where he was and couldn’t even be bothered to try. He moved away from her, leaned against the towel rail and closed his eyes.

He said, ‘You don’t blag your way into someone’s house and punch their lights out.’ He rubbed at his nose, spreading new blood across his cheek.

Ellie felt heavy as she stood up. Her teeth ached and her knee was sore from where she’d slipped on the wet grass. ‘Tom?’

‘That whole family’s crazy. Didn’t you see him? I need you to believe it’s them and not me.’

‘Tom, your nose is bleeding loads.’

It was bright, startling. He tried to catch it, but it dripped through his fingers and splashed onto the tiled floor.

‘Let me help.’

‘I don’t want your help.’

She gave him her place on the toilet seat and got him more tissues. ‘Pinch it here, like this. And put your head down.’

He slumped there, holding his nose. The top of his head was shiny with water. ‘It hurts,’ he said. His voice was nasal and muffled.

‘It’ll stop soon. Here’s some more tissue.’

He gave her the old ones. They were warm and heavy. She put them in the pedal bin, then washed her hands in the sink. There were dots of blood splashed over the mirror. She wiped them with her palm and they smeared pink across the glass. She’d have to clean it properly later.

She dried her hands, went to the cabinet on the wall and scooped out handfuls of cotton‑wool balls – pink, white, eggshell blue – like little clouds. She rinsed out the sink and filled it with fresh water. It was good having something to do, it slowed her pulse down. This is how the nurses must have felt in the First World War,  she thought. Facts seeped into her head as she dunked and squeezed the cotton balls.

The war started on 28 June 1914 and lasted over four years. Total dead: over eleven million. Factors that led to strong feelings of nationalism throughout Europe were… Were what? Ellie leaned on the sink for a moment, a wave of panic in her gut. She’d learned the factors only last week. What was happening to the inside of her head?

She knelt on the floor at Tom’s feet in an effort to calm herself. She made him take the tissues from his nose. ‘It’s stopped,’ she said. ‘Now don’t speak. I’m going to clean you up.’

‘OK.’

‘Shush, no talking.’

She wiped his mouth and around his nose with cotton wool. She dabbed at his eyebrow. He moaned gently as she touched a raw place on his cheek.

There was silence then, a tiny window of time when they looked at each other. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said.

Ellie felt her insides shift; a warmth for her brother stirred there.

He kept his eyes on her as she blotted at him. ‘You think he does boxing?’

‘Probably.’

Tom’s face softened. ‘He landed the first punch, Ellie. I couldn’t let him get away with that. I couldn’t just stand there and take it.’

She didn’t understand the world of fighting, that’s what the problem was. She’d been looking for subtlety, and there wasn’t any – it came down to daring and bravado. Tom had the better weapon. Tom won. Maybe Mikey didn’t mind about the bottle as much as she did. Maybe he didn’t see it as cheating.

‘He shouldn’t’ve come here. He shouldn’t’ve dared. You know what I mean?’

She nodded.

‘I wouldn’t’ve bottled him. I only wanted to scare him. Did you think I was going to bottle him for real?’

‘I don’t know.’

He smiled. ‘You soaked me with that hosepipe.’

‘Yeah.’

‘You’re a nutter.’

She sat down at his feet and watched him searching for pain with the tips of his fingers.

‘Is there anything here?’ He pushed out his lip with his tongue – it was swollen, as if he’d been stung.

‘Just a graze.’

Tom said, ‘You all right?’

‘Sure.’

‘You don’t look it.’

Her throat contracted and her eyes filled with tears. ‘What’s going to happen next?’

‘I’ll go to court. I’ll get off. We’ll go back to normal.’ Tom looked down at her fondly, the way he used to before any of this. ‘It’ll be all right.’

Twenty‑five

‘It’s always the men. Have you noticed? Any trouble in the world and there are always men involved.’

‘I’m a bloke, Mum.’

‘I know that, Mikey.’

‘Well, it’d be nice if you’d stop slagging us off.’

They’d been at it since they got up, and today was the formal hearing, so they’d all woken early – his sisters listening to Mum as if it was story time, while she told them about every unpleasant bloke she’d ever met. Karyn was lapping it up. If all men were bad, then she didn’t have to feel so alone. Mum was getting off on it too. It was her new way of being close to Karyn.

‘Should you be drinking that?’ Mikey said. ‘I thought we had a deal.’

She ignored him, licked her lips like a starved cat, tipped the glass and knocked another great gulp back. Mikey checked the clock – it was nearly eight. At this rate she’d be drunk before they even got to court.

‘Look around the estate,’ Mum said. ‘At all the jobs women do – bringing up kids, cleaning and shopping and cooking, and that’s before they go out to work. Have you ever noticed how women can do more than two things at once?’

‘I can do three,’ Holly said. ‘Look, I’m eating Coco Pops, putting my socks on and listening to you.’

‘You’re a genius,’ Mikey told her as he leaned over and took Mum’s bottle from the table.

She looked up quickly. ‘Where are you going with that?’

‘I’ll swap you. I’ll make you breakfast.’

‘I don’t want any breakfast.’

‘You need to eat something before we go.’

He had a look at the bottle as he took it upstairs. Tio Nico sherry, £3.50 for half a litre from Ajay’s. Seventeen per cent proof. She must’ve got it first thing, when he was waking the girls up, maybe told herself it was only milk she was going for. Anything that cheap tasted rubbish and a third of it was gone already. He rammed it in his wardrobe and went back down to the lounge. If he could get her to eat something, it would soak the worst of it up.

‘Scrambled egg,’ he said. ‘I’ll make that if you like.’

His mother blinked at him. ‘Scrambled egg?’

‘Yeah, you know – proper food for once. Little bit of onion, little bit of garlic. We’ve got bacon as well. It’ll be nice.’

Mum looked confused, turned back to her glass and knocked the last bit back. ‘If you want to.’

He tried not to listen as she told the girls one of her mad London stories about a bloke called Vivian who was married with three kids and forgot to mention that fact when he gave Mum a ring from the Argos catalogue and asked her to marry him.

‘Humiliating,’ Mum said, as the girls sympathized. ‘I was only seventeen. Maybe that’s what put me off men for life.’

‘I like men,’ Holly said.

Karyn shook her head. ‘No you don’t.’

‘I do. They’re good at cooking.’

Mikey shot her a grateful smile.

‘Cooking’s not the point,’ Karyn growled. ‘Men are like animals, Holly. Think of dogs. No, think of apes.’

‘I like apes.’

‘Yeah, but you wouldn’t want to marry one.’

They all fell about laughing. Charming. Bloody brilliant. Even Holly was turning against him.

Gillian turned up when he was serving the eggs, and even though Mum didn’t want any and Karyn would probably only pick at hers, it looked impressive. He wanted to say, Told you I could manage.  He wanted her to notice Holly’s brushed hair and clean school shirt, but all Gillian had eyes for was the bruise on his face. She came right up and peered at him like a doctor.