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“And a savior, and a savior,” the uhlan ardently insisted.
Velchaninov politely thanked her and replied that he was always ready, that he was a perfectly idle and unoccupied man, and that Olympiada Semyonovna’s invitation was only too flattering for him. After which he at once began a merry little conversation, into which he successfully inserted two or three compliments. Lipochka blushed with pleasure and, as soon as Pavel Pavlovich returned, a
“So you’re coming to visit us, sir?” the man babbled, approaching the matter with complete frankness.
“I just knew it! Hasn’t changed a bit!” Velchaninov burst out laughing. “But could you really,” he again slapped him on the shoulder, “could you really think seriously even for a moment that I would in fact come to visit, and for a whole month at that—ha, ha!”
Pavel Pavlovich became all aroused.
“So you—won’t come, sir!” he cried out, not concealing his joy in the least.
“I won’t, I won’t!” Velchaninov laughed smugly. However, he himself did not understand why he found it so especially fu
“Can it be… can it really be as you say, sir?” And, having said that, Pavel Pavlovich even jumped up from his seat in trembling expectation.
“But I already said I won’t come—what a queer fellow you are!”
“How then… if so, sir, how shall I tell Olympiada Semyonovna, when you don’t come in a week, after she’s been waiting, sir?”
“That’s a hard one! Tell her I broke a leg or something like that.”
“She won’t believe it, sir,” Pavel Pavlovich drew out in a plaintive little voice.
“And you’ll catch hell?” Velchaninov went on laughing. “But I notice, my poor friend, that you do tremble before your beautiful spouse—eh?”
Pavel Pavlovich tried to smile, but it did not come off. That Velchaninov had renounced his visit—that, of course, was good; but that he spoke familiarly about his wife—now, that was bad. Pavel Pavlovich cringed. Velchaninov noticed it. Meanwhile the second bell had already rung; from the faraway car came a piping little voice, anxiously summoning Pavel Pavlovich. He fidgeted on the spot, but did not run at the summons, apparently expecting something more from Velchaninov—of course, a further assurance that he would not visit them.
“What is your wife’s former name?” Velchaninov said, as if not noticing Pavel Pavlovich’s anxiety at all.
“I took her from our local vicar, sir,” the man replied, glancing at the train in bewilderment and cocking an ear.
“Ah, I understand, for her beauty.”
Pavel Pavlovich cringed again.
“And who is this Mitenka to you?”
“He’s just so, sir; our distant relative—that is, mine, sir, my late cousin’s son, Golubchikov, demoted for disorderly conduct, and now restored again; so we’ve equipped him… An unfortunate young man, sir…”
“Well, well,” thought Velchaninov, “everything’s in order—the full setup!”
“Pavel Pavlovich!” again a distant summons was heard from the car, now with quite an irritated note in the voice.
“Pal Palych!” came another, hoarse voice.
Pavel Pavlovich again started fidgeting and fussing about, but Velchaninov seized him firmly by the elbow and stopped him.
“And do you want me to go right now and tell your wife how you wanted to put a knife in me—eh?”
“How can you, how can you, sir!” Pavel Pavlovich was terribly frightened, “God keep you from it, sir!”
“Pavel Pavlovich! Pavel Pavlovich!” the voices were heard again.
“Well, go, then!” Velchaninov released him at last, continuing to laugh good-naturedly.
“So you won’t come, sir!” Pavel Pavlovich, all but in despair, whispered a last time, and even clasped his hands before him, palms together, as in old times.
“No, I swear to you, I won’t come! Run, or there’ll be trouble!”
And he sweepingly offered him his hand—offered it and gave a start: Pavel Pavlovich did not take his hand, he even drew his own back.
The third bell rang.
In an instant something strange happened with the two men; they both as if transformed. Something wavered as it were and suddenly snapped in Velchaninov, who had been laughing so much only a moment before. He firmly and furiously seized Pavel Pavlovich by the shoulder.
“If I, if I offer you this hand here,” he showed him the palm of his left hand, on which there clearly remained a big scar from the cut, “then you might well take it!” he whispered with trembling and paled lips.
Pavel Pavlovich also paled and his lips also trembled. Some sort of spasms suddenly passed over his face.
“And Liza, sir?” he murmured in a quick whisper—and suddenly his lips, cheeks, and chin quivered, and tears poured from his eyes. Velchaninov stood before him like a post.
“Pavel Pavlovich! Pavel Pavlovich!” screams came from the car, as if someone were being slaughtered there—and suddenly the whistle blew.
Pavel Pavlovich came to his senses, clasped his hands, and dashed off at top speed; the train had already started, but he somehow managed to hold on and climb into his car in flight. Velchaninov remained at the station and continued his journey only toward evening, having waited for the next train in the same direction. He did not go to the right, to his provincial lady acquaintance—he was much too out of sorts. And how sorry he was later!
BOBOK
NOTES OF A CERTAIN PERSON
THIS TIME I am including the “Notes of a Certain Person.”1 It is not I; it is an entirely different person. I think there is no need for any further preface.
Semyon Ardalyonovich hands me this the other day: “But, pray tell me, Ivan Ivanych, will you ever be sober?”
A strange demand. I’m not offended, I’m a timid man; but, anyhow, now they’ve made a madman out of me. An artist had occasion to paint my portrait. “After all,” he says, “you’re a writer.” I yielded; he exhibited it. I read: “Go look at this morbid, nearly crazy person.”
Maybe it’s so, but still, why come right out with it in print? In print we need everything noble; we need ideals, but this…
At least say it indirectly, that’s what you have style for. No, he no longer wants it indirect. Nowadays humor and good style are disappearing, and abuse is taken for wit. I’m not offended: God knows I’m not such a writer as to lose my mind over it. I wrote a story—it wasn’t published. I wrote a feuilleton—it was rejected. I took a lot of these feuilletons to various editorial offices, they were rejected everywhere: you lack salt, they said.
“What kind of salt do you want,” I ask mockingly, “Attic salt?”2
He doesn’t even understand. I mainly translate from the French for booksellers. I also write advertisements for merchants: “A rarity!” I say. “Red tea from our own plantations…” I made a pile on a panegyric for His Excellency the late Pyotr Matveevich. I put together The Art of Pleasing the Ladies on commission from a bookseller. I’ve turned out about six such books in my life. I want to make a collection of Voltaire’s bons mots,3 but I’m afraid it might seem insipid to the likes of us. What’s Voltaire now! These days it’s the cudgel, not Voltaire! They’ve knocked the last teeth out of each other! So that’s the whole of my literary activity. Except that I also send letters to editors gratis, over my full signature. I keep giving admonishments and advice, I criticize and show the way. Last week I sent my fortieth letter to an editor in two years; four roubles on postage alone. I have a nasty character, that’s what.