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“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Je
“There’s no going back now.”
Bret’s tone of voice was far harsher than normal, tension radiated off of him; there was a bleakness in his eyes that I despised. Je
Flies.
“Please don’t let us find the maternity ward,” Je
Bile rose up my throat; I gagged softly but somehow managed to keep it suppressed. My hands were shaking. My palms were so sweaty that I was begi
A sob lodged in my throat, I blinked back the tears that clogged my eyes. I hadn’t thought of the defenseless before. There hadn’t been time through the all consuming need to survive. There hadn’t been time through my own grief and loss. Now, I could not shake the thought, or the fury that came boiling up with it. The aliens would be made to pay, one way or another, I would help find a way to make them pay for everything they’d done, and everyone they’d hurt.
I just didn’t know how, or where, to start. As long as we stayed alive there was always hope, always a chance that we would one day destroy them as surely as they were destroying us. We just couldn’t let them succeed first.
Lloyd took a turn in the hall, going in low and fast as he moved swiftly to the other side. He nodded to Bret before sweeping further down the hall. We moved more rapidly through the hospital, driven swiftly on by the hollow emptiness and desolation surrounding us.
The pharmacy was the first thing we came across. The door was open, not because it had been left that way, but because it had been bent in, bowed at the bottom and then ripped upward. The metal frame of the door had been ripped half off, it hung at an angle to the floor. Lloyd pocketed his gun to pull his pack from his back and swing it forward. He held it against his chest as he crawled under the twisted metal remains.
“Grab as many essentials as you can,” he commanded as we followed him into the large room.
Shelves lined the room, dividing it into different sections and blocking Lloyd as he disappeared into the back. Some of the shelves had been knocked over, broken bottles and discarded pills littered the floor. I grit my jaw as pills crunched and snapped softly beneath my feet. I knew that the crunching wasn’t that loud but it seemed as loud as gunshots to me in the hushed building. I searched the shelves but they had already been picked over, either by other survivors, or stripped on purpose by the aliens. Then again the aliens had brought life saving, advanced medicine, with them upon arrival. For all I knew we had stopped making any drugs that could have helped us months ago in favor of what the aliens had to offer us. Fury simmered through me at the sheer ignorance and stupidity we had shown by believing the line of crap they had fed us.
It had gotten us nothing but heartache and death.
I ignored the white te
“Here.”
I caught the bottle Lloyd tossed at me and turned it over in my hand to read the label. Doxycycline. I nodded as I twisted the top off and dry swallowed one of them. I hoped it was enough to fight off whatever microbes might be multiplying in my body right now due to that hideous thing. There was no way to know what kind of germs those things might be carrying with them. The label said to only take one, but I decided to take another. I was probably going to want some of those antacids afterwards, but I didn’t care I wanted whatever germs might be lurking within me dead.
I was frightened that even now there might be something taking up residence in my body, changing me, or even destroying me. Perhaps eating me from the inside out. I had seen the Alien movies, and Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, far too often for me not to have all kinds of frightening and creepy thoughts. I shuddered, and though I knew it wasn’t a good idea, I took a third pill before capping the bottle.
I stuffed some extra strength Tylenol and Ibuprofen into my bag but all of the harder painkillers were gone. I found five boxes of antibiotic cream. I eagerly opened one, bracing myself for the sting as I gently wiped it over my heated and bubbled flesh. My breath hissed out of me, my teeth grated sharply together, but I fully intended to keep dousing my shoulder with the crap if it would help kill off anything that creature had left on me. I hoped someone found some burn cream somewhere; it would be nice to have something that soothed the fierce sting of my tortured skin.
I shoved the rest into my bag and took a deep breath as I zipped it closed. Everything seemed to be going too fast, too rapidly. I felt as if I hadn’t had a chance to just stop and think since we had set out on this mission. But then, what was I going to think about? My father, my mother, Cade, the lost children? Abby and Aiden? Was I going to drive myself crazy with worry about them?
It was better not to think, but it was also exhausting. There were so many suppressed emotions roiling around within me that I could barely breathe sometimes. There was so much pain and loss lingering within me that there were times I wasn’t sure I could go on. And in this moment, at this time, I was trapped within that feeling.
It hit me out of nowhere, the weight of my grief rolled up to bury me within its cloak of oppression and pain. Though I tried to stop it, the sudden longing for Cade surged up out of nowhere. It rose up like a tsunami, towering above me for a moment before crashing down and burying me within its crushing depths. Pain choked my lungs and throat as surely as ocean water would have choked me. My hands fisted tight, I inhaled a shaky breath as I struggled to reign in the crushing agony trying to consume me.
“Shit,” I hissed through clenched teeth.
“Bethany?”
I shook my head, shrinking away from Bret’s hand as it landed on my shoulder. I could feel the hurt that the sting of my rejection inflicted upon him, but I was so buried beneath the swirling misery of my own pain that I couldn’t acknowledge, or ease, his. I inhaled sharply, slowly reigning in the surge of emotions that had threatened to disintegrate me. It took me a few more moments, but I was finally able to regain enough control to open my eyes.
“Are you ok?”
“I’m fine.” I didn’t look at Bret, I simply couldn’t right now. It was too hard, it was all so hard, but there was always hope I forcefully reminded myself. There would always be hope for mankind, and we were a big factor in helping to aide in that hope. I had to keep it together, I could lose it later; I could grieve when we returned to everyone because that was what I needed. I had been trying so hard, struggling so much to keep in control that I had not allowed myself to grieve for all of my losses. And I had to grieve if I was ever going to regain some control of myself, if I was ever going to truly begin to move on.